


Tryout Boyfriends

by Seimari



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, The Untamed Boys | T.U.B.S. (Band), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: BJYX | Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean is Real, Bo Jun Yi Xiao Shi Zhen De, Celebrities, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Yizhan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 82,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27133873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seimari/pseuds/Seimari
Summary: With all the insecurities and humiliation that he faced in front of Wang Yibo, Xiao Zhan avoided him the best that he can, but after a false report involving them and a dating rumor that emerged out of an embarrassing incident, they found themselves victims of media play.One is desperate to save his career while the other has been secretly waiting. What if Xiao Zhan finds out that all these years of him acting like a wind just passed by whenever he encounters the other was actually a hurricane waiting to happen?
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo & Xiao Zhan | Sean, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Comments: 39
Kudos: 208





	1. Of Stars & Scandal

“Xiao Zhan! Xiao Zhan!” The fans kept chanting his name even when he’s already inside the van. Xiao Zhan waved at them with a smile and their chants became louder, some even giggled and swoon. Once the window of the van rolled up, he sighed and massaged his temple.

He just finished a fan meet. The show was great, the fans were great. To be able to show his craft and be appreciated for that is fulfilling. However it was also burdensome. The weight of the people’s affection and expectation is something he needed to carry all the time. 

“Great show today Zhan-Zhan.”

His Lee manager praised. A woman in her 40's.

"Yeah, thank you manager… but now I feel drained. I just want to sleep.” He said truthfully. “Sometimes, I wish, I could slow down.”

Xiao Zhan doesn’t regret being on the spotlight – it was actually his dream ever since he was a kid but the spotlight could become oppressive and there are times that he misses the non-celeb life.

His manager sighed and patted his back.

“Cheer up, this is just the beginning. If you’re to receive your height, it will become more stressful than this. I can say, you’re going there…”

Xiao Zhan eyed her with innocence. “At the peak?”

Carman nodded with a gentle smile, something that reminds him of maternal affection. “And as I always say, the place on top doesn’t equate to happiness.”

He nodded. Carman Lee often reminds him to always be grateful. To surround himself with good friends and people and never forget those who were there for him in the beginning. 

“Dealing with people could be exhausting. You may lose yourself to gain their favor so put your happiness as the goal. Cancel culture is popular nowadays, people act as if being perfect is a prerequisite to being a celebrity.”

His face softened. It was a known fact although he’s still not experiencing lots of criticism yet, he wouldn’t be so invincible once he gets more famous.

“Don’t worry manager.” He smiled in assurance. “If I were to be more known, then I’d be more than happy with the appreciation. I won’t be easily affected by hates.” 

That’s right, a wise man once told him that if he wanted to pursue his dream, he should be able to withstand the intensity of fame or just quit once and for all. He didn’t want to quit and so, he made it his mission to prove himself to that man.

He smiled at the thought.

“What are you suddenly smiling at?”

Xiao Zhan put his hands to the front and waved them. “Ah nothing. I’m just reminded of something manager.”

“Something or someone?” Carman giggled and raised an index finger. “Ah and one more thing. Dating is like pure luck. Some fans are just random so if you dated, and the majority of fans supported the relationship, consider yourself fortunate.”

Xiao Zhan just nodded. He doesn’t plan on dating at this time. Career comes first, perfecting his craft is the priority. To be given the spotlight comes with a lot of sacrifices. 

Just like the most artists, Xiao Zhan hadn’t got it easy. His father never supported his dream and so he just tried to forget it and took a different path. After college, he started working as a graphic designer and it was the only time he had found the courage to pursue his real dream. However people around mocked him for doing so. They think it was foolish of him to leave his career just to pursue something impossible. It wasn’t just once when he was told that he started too old compared to others.

It all started 2 years ago. He was 25 when he auditioned for “I-Fire” it wasn’t a show meant for trainees who are already under entertainment companies. Rather it was a show that accepts trainees through audition and train them in the span of the whole show. He saw it as his chance to showcase what have he got. It was an amateur competition and he was accepted as a contender of the show. The Top Five will have an official contract with a well-known entertainment company in their country – Congming Entertainment. Unfortunately, he lost. 

The humiliation and pain of losing almost made him quit but after three months, he got casted in a blockbuster movie which became his outlet to be recognized. Even when he only had a few exposures, his role was unforgettable. It became his stepping stone, his offers grew in numbers until he became in-demand. His past as a contender of an idol show was opened once again and an amateur music composer offered him a song and it received some recognition. 

He was offered a contract in Lush Zeal Ent. which he happily signed. It was a great gain in his career. After that, music producers started negotiating with him, from small agencies to large companies. With the popularity he got from the music scene, he was back in his acting career and got casted for major roles.

Xiao Zhan couldn’t say he’s already on top, but at least he could say, he’s starting to make a name for himself.

When the car stops in the underground parking lot of Purple Lotus Hotel, Xiao Zhan heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, he could rest!

Hotel staffs greeted him as soon as he get off the car. Everyone was smiling at him, he was requested to take several photos with them even before he could get to his room.

Once inside his room, he collapsed onto the bed, not minding that he’s still wearing the same sweaty clothes he wore at the fan meet.

Carman chuckled at herself when she saw her talent snoring across the room. He only managed to take off his shoes before dozing off. Xiao Zhan’s body isn’t used to this kind of stress yet but maybe someday, he’d be able to withstand almost anything. Not to mention, before the fan meet, he had a shoot this morning.

She carefully took off the boy’s beanie and put a blanket over his body. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she could only pour all her maternal affections to Xiao Zhan.

“Manager Lee, phone!”

Meika knocked from outside the door. Carman patted her talent’s cheek before going out.

-RINGGGG-

A loud ringing from behind awakened Xiao Zhan from his sleep. He scratched his nape in annoyance but tried his best to sit up anyway. The call must be important.  
He answered it without looking at the caller’s name.

“Hello?”

“Hey man! How are you?”

“Ji Li, it’s—” Xiao Zhan paused to check the time. He almost cursed at what he saw. “It’s 1 AM! What do you need?”

“Hey! I checked on Manager Lee at exactly 8PM and she said you were past asleep. Man it’s 1! You had 5 hours already. So why don’t you come and join us? We’re just chilling here at my place and we miss our rising star. The dudes are here, Zhuo Cheng brought drinks for the success of his musicals. Oh and you know what’s more fun? He also brought a friend, and his friend brought another friend – a big shot one!”

Xiao Zhan shut his eyes so tight. Ji Li talks too fast, it gives him headaches. 

“That’s the point! It’s 1 AM! People should be in their bed. Not out drinking with friends!”

“Aha aha…” Ji Li made an unusual sound – something he’s good at. “C’mon dude! I checked your schedule. You don’t have any appointment for two days.”

“And who gave you my schedule?!”

“Meika.”

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes. “I hate you.”

Meika is his new P.A. and Ji Li is a notable flirt so if he wants to know something, he lets his tongue do the work… just like what he did in this situation.

“So are you coming or not? I’m ready to pick you up.” His friend asked eagerly.

“Manager will kill me.”

“Ugh.” Ji Li made an incoherent noise. “More like your manager will kill ME.”

Xiao Zhan chuckled. His Manager Carman often scolds his friends – Ji Li the most – because of his persistent nature.

“Can we have it later? After lunch? Or maybe the next day?”

“Enkk!” His friend imitated a loud buzzer.

“The thing is, I don’t think we’re still free by that time.”

That’s the downside of his celebrity lifestyle – his personal relationships are taking the toll. He hadn’t hang out with his friends for months! Although, they do visit him on set whenever they can but they can only talk for a short period of time.

“But alright!” Ji Li retracted after a while. “If you can’t come today, maybe we can move some schedules for you.”

He sighed, feeling guilty. They often adjust for him. “Fine, fine.” He combed his hair with his fingers. “I’ll be there. But you will pick me up.” He really misses them anyway.

“Yay! Okay sireee!” 

Then the line was dead. Ji Li’s too excited to even bid a farewell and Xiao Zhan could just smile.

Ji Li, Yubin and Zhuo Cheng have always been there for him when no one did. They were his first supporters, and he will try his best to make time for them.

Time check, 1:25 AM. 

Xiao Zhan silently waits for his friend at the lobby of the hotel. Thank God for his scarf and beanie, people don’t notice that it’s him. And it’s past midnight, there’s only a few people down here. He fished out for his phone to check on his SNS but something caught his attention.

“As _Business Tycoon A_ was reported to work in entertainment industry, netizens have already mentioned some of the most influential names within the industry.” Xiao Zhan stopped browsing through his phone and eyed the big screen positioned at the center of the lobby. It was a flash news.

“However, authorities warned the public to beware of fake news as no one has been named yet as business tycoon A. The police are yet to confirm the real identity of the man and they are asking for the witnesses’ cooperation.”

Xiao Zhan sighed. This news has been the hottest topic ever since it came up last week. Business Tycoon ‘A’ was the nickname given to a businessman in a blind item that claimed that the said man was involved in illegal activities and underground busineness.

It was even rumored that some amateur female celebrities under the said business tycoon were offered like prostitutes before they got a big break. It sends shiver down his spine. He wishes that this is not the case for he would feel really bad knowing that some of the celebrities involved might have been someone he had met somewhere. Thinking that there are bastards who prey on people’s dreams to fulfill their own immoral desire is maddening.

If it’s true that the man works in media and entertainment business, there’s a chance that he already met the one in question – they might have even shook hands already. Xiao Zhan sighed and started thinking of all the big bosses of the showbiz industry. Hopefully it wasn’t someone he has connections with.

“Zhaaan!” 

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling him. Of course, that whine would come from no other than Ji Li. The guy had just passed by the guards on the entrance and still a few feet away from him but his arms were already wide open, and his voice was really loud! Xiao Zhan had to bow apologetically to everyone who looks weirded out by his friend. 

“Keep your voice down, A-Li.” He whispered as soon as he was caged into a hug.“

Nonsense, dude.” His friend chuckled. "You’ve been missing in action for so long."

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve missed you too.” He hugged back before shifting away. “Anyway, we should go before Manager finds out I wasn’t in my room.”

Ji Li chuckled, “I’m proud of you, man! You’re growing a backbone!”

Xiao Zhan shook his head. He’ll text his manager later so it’s no biggie.

“Who is this friend A-Cheng brought? And who is the other friend his friend brought?” He asked once they are inside the car. He wishes no reporter is in the vicinity to follow them.

“Surprise, surprise.” Ji Li answered, eyes fixated on the road. 

“You’re no fun!” He complained.

His friend giggled. “There’s fun in surprises. But okay, the friend was from his musicals, Cao Yuchen. Y’know him? That racer-slash-musical actor? He’s getting a lot of attention lately.”

His brows furrowed. Cao Yuchen is extremely close with—He looks at Ji Li with horror. The guy’s smile makes him really, really suspicious.

“Please tell me, the other friend is not who I am thinking.”

“And who are you thinking?”

“You know whooo!” He whined like a five-year old. 

“Oh Xiao Zhan! You’re already at this point, you have to be friendly with the other huge stars! You need the connection!”

“So am I right? You’re indeed talking about him?”

Ji Li shrugs his shoulders, a smirk on his lips.

“Eh you figured it out.”

Xiao Zhan gasped and looked around.

“Don’t look outside, it’s not like I’m gonna stop the car and let you walk back to the hotel by yourself. Your manager will kill me if some avid fan kidnaps you.”

“I’m not planning on backing out but—really Ji Li, you should have told me earlier!”

“Even if I did, we can’t shoo him away! If his fans learned that you kicked him out of a party they’d haunt you down!”

“That is not the point. You know, I won’t do that!” Xiao Zhan sighed. He knew his friends, they could be doing this to tease him.

“Please don’t do anything insane later.”

Ji Li nodded. “You should tell it to yourself. You do insane things whenever you’re drunk.”

Xiao Zhan pouted. He should behave well later. Avoid drinking too much. Avoid talking too much. Avoid doing or saying anything embarrassing for Wang Yibo will be there.

It's not that he doesn't want to be friendly with Wang Yibo, it's just that he was afraid to be close to him. To befriend him. To talk to him. In the past, he failed a lot, and it was that same man who witnessed those failures and the tears he cried. 

What did he say earlier? To avoid drinking too much but his friends were too persistent, they even played games and the one who lose, gets to drink. Xiao Zhan suspected his friends were teaming up to defeat him.   
Why are they being this way? And why is he submitting to their wishes? 

He had lost count of how many shots of baijiu had he already downed but if Xiao Zhan was in his best state he knows he had enough to give him something he’d regret later – a hangover. However he’s not in his best thinking state.

Whenever they drink, his friends often say that the more intoxicated he gets, the more he asks for alcohol. He thought it won’t hit him too hard, but his realization came late.

He glanced across the room, Wang Yibo was there – Cao Yuchen’s friend, they are in the same racing team. The boy was busy with his phone, not minding everyone else. He looks like he was just forced by his friend to be in here.

Xiao Zhan never thought he’d party with Yibo even once in his life. Sure they’ve attended the same gatherings, award nights and charity events but a party like this – in a friend’s house? No way. Wang Yibo is one of the biggest name in the show business industry and his circle includes the most influential celebs. He’s been a star since he was 13. It feels surreal to have a drink with him.

Xiao Zhan chuckled to himself stupidly. What having a drink was he thinking? Yibo didn’t even lift one bottle! And he hasn’t say a single word to anyone but Yuchen.

“Yibo, Yiboooo!” Cao Yuchen slapped his friend’s arm, he sounded vague. “You should at least sing once!”

“Not in the mood.” Was his short reply.

“You’ll get in the mood once you drink one shot!” Yuchen started shoving a glass onto Yibo. “Just one shot!”

Xiao Zhan just watched as the younger pushed it away. 

“Ge, you only drag me here because you need a driver, remember?”

“Stop acting like you don’t want to be in here Yibo!” Yuchen eyed them. “Despite his busy schedule, he was actually the one who initiated to drive me here and back!”

Yibo quickly slapped Yuchen’s arm who was laughing like a maniac. “Shut up Chen-ge!”

Xiao Zhan raised an eyebrow as he watched them. He even caught Yibo’s eyes who awkwardly glanced away from his stare.

 _Why is he uncomfortable?_ His mind whispered. _He’s probably the most intimidating person here_.

But right now, Xiao Zhan isn’t really intimidated. Alcohol could make anyone’s skin so thick – like what he’s about to do right now. With a cheeky smile on his lips, he jumped off the single couch and walked towards Yibo.

Zhuo Cheng just finished singing and so he stole the microphone away from him and put some random number in the Karaoke.

“Haaaa nehh Yibo!” He called out of the blue.

The younger’s eyes quickly turned to his direction, he looks a bit in shock. Well you can’t blame the boy! They are never close for him to call him cutely like that.

“Bo-di, Bo-di. Please sing this song!” He said cutely before shoving him the microphone.  
Yibo glanced at the screen.

Song Title: _Nan Hai (Liang Bo)_

“B-But… but…”

“Aiyaaa!” Yubin squealed and started clapping his hands. “Wang Yibo, Wang Yibo!” He shouted until everyone was doing the same.

Yibo eyed Yuchen to ask for help… but he wasn’t any help as well.

“Do it Yibo, you’ve been too quiet, they will think you’re snob just because you’re popular!” Yuchen joked while pushing his shoulder, urging him to sing. “You should at least grant Xiao Zhan’s wish. He’s in the same industry!”

Yibo looks really helpless – and it’s not everyday you’d see him like this. He kinda looks cute, Xiao Zhan must admit. Well, it isn’t a surprise anyway, he knows Yibo is cute ever since.

“You once told me I should hang tough! You can at least gift me for trying after all these times.” Xiao Zhan said, stirring the conversation once again.

“That’s right, that’s right!” Ji Li seconded while Zhuo Cheng was just at the corner, shaking his head. He knows Xiao Zhan will definitely regret being this shameless later. 

Yibo sighed and stared at the microphone before finally accepting it with hesitation. His acceptance made everyone cheered so loud.

**Céng jīng yì wài tā hé tā xiāng ài**

**zài bù huì yóu yù de shí dài**

**yǐ wéi míng bái suǒ yǐ ài dé tòng kuài**

**yī shuāng shǒu jǐn jǐn fàng bù kāi**

**xīn zhōng de zhí zhuó yǔ wèi lái**

Xiao Zhan smiled as he was listening to Yibo. In a way, it feels like he was singing for him since he was the one who forced him to do it. A surge of pride swell into his stomach.

**wàng bùliǎo nǐ de ài**

**dàn jiéjú nán gēnggǎi**

**wǒ méi néng bǎ nǐ liú xiàlái**

**gèng bù xiàng tā néng gěi nǐ yīgè qídài de**

**wèilái yòuzhì de nánhái**

**nǐ de guānhuái yīzhí suíshēn xiédài**

**wú rén de dìfāng zài dǎkāi xiǎng wèn nǐ**

**xiànzài shìfǒu yōushāng bù zài**

He was so absorbed in listening that he hadn’t notice Zhuo Cheng calling him not until the guy hit his back with a pillow.

“Wh-What?!” He asked with exaggeration.

“I said you’re phone is ringing! Have you become deaf?”

“Eh?” He lazily fished for his phone inside his pocket. He squinted as he read the caller’s name. “M-Mana—fck!” He felt like a bucket of ice was poured onto him. Damn! He forgot to send her a text. Even when he’s drunk, one person he wouldn’t like to offend is Manager Carman.

“A-Cheng!” He glanced at his friend. “It’s manager!”

“Then answer it quickly!” 

Since his friends were loud while cheering for Yibo, Xiao Zhan had to go the comfort room, with a little regret that by the time he comes back, Yibo could have finished the song already. It was his request! And he wouldn’t be able to listen ‘til the end.

With a pout, he answered the call and the first thing he heard was a loud “Where the hell are you?!”

“Why do you look like shit?” Ji Li asked once Xiao Zhan came back with red nose and red eyes. Manager Carman lectured him to the point that he almost cry – he cries easily when drunk by the way.

“You look like my shit’s shit.” He bit back. What he said was kinda true since Ji Li looks wasted. Squinting, trying his best for his eyes to remain open and his hair was pointing at all directions.

“Binbin!” He ran to Yubin and whined.

“Whaaat?” His friend asked but laughed afterwards. He looks more drunk than him. Xiao Zhan scrunched his nose and went to Zhuo Cheng instead.

“Chengcheng!”

“Ahhh!” Zhuo Cheng shouted, irritated. “Don’t call me that! What am I? Five?”

“No, being five is better. At least, if you’re five, you can get away from people’s wrath.”

His friend shook a head. “Why? Manager Lee wanna kill you?”

“No.” He scrunched his nose. “She wanna skin me alive.” Then he gestured his hand exaggeratingly. “Alive, A-Cheng! She will skin me alive! She said no one will pick me up since the driver is past asleep so she’d drag me there by herself.”

“You should have told her not to bother. You can sleep here.”

“I did though, but she was really mad and her sermons can’t wait so she decided to fetch me.”

“Tell her again that you’ll sleep here.” Zhuo Cheng ordered.

“I only have one bed!” Ji Li chimed in but his eyes were already close. “Can you guys sleep on the floor?”

“Do you want Xiao Zhan’s fans to wank you on the head?” Yubin joked and laughed so loud once again. 

“Then we can share the bed…” Ji Li’s voice sounds like a snore, as if he’s almost off to dreamland. “Then Yibo, Yuchen… Zhuo Cheng and Yubin can sleep on the floor.”

“You’ll make Yibo sleep on the floor? Do you want to be put on a fire pit?” Zhuo Cheng asked jokingly. 

Ji Li tried his best to open his eyes. “Fck, that’s right. Maybe I could sleep on the couch then. Yibo and Zhan Zhan could share the bed.”

All hair on Xiao Zhan’s body seemed to rise at what he heard. Yes, he’s shameless right now. But to share a bed with Yibo? No. What if he drools? Vomit in the middle of sleeping? What if he kicks him out of the bed? 

“Don’t worry, I’m not drunk. I’ll be able to drive home.” Yibo finally spoke up, cutting Xiao Zhan’s thoughts off. Then quite unexpectedly, the guy turned to him. “Instead of your manager, I can just…” Xiao Zhan’s eye brow perched up as he saw Yibo rubbed his nape.

“I can just drive you back to the hotel.”  
Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened. “Eh?”

“I said I could… I could drive you back to the hotel.”

He jumped out like an excited kid. “You will?”

The boy just nodded.

“Are you not busy?”

“It won’t take too much of my time anyway.”

Xiao Zhan couldn’t contain his excitement. If he’s thinking straight, he should’ve shy away a moment ago but he really can’t mask his stupidity right now.

“Okay, okay, Bo-diii!” He cutely called and held the younger’s arm in a dramatic manner.

“You are heaven-sent, y’know that?!” He glanced at his friends who were piled up on the sofa, they look like they’d be knocked out with just one flick. “You heard that? I don’t have to sleep here. Yibo will give me a rideee!”

But he only got a snore from Ji Li and Yubin is laughing at one corner crazily. It was Zhuo Cheng who sat up, he had the least drink and the one who’s more likely left with some sense.

“Wang Yibo, you should take care of him alright?”

Yibo just nodded.

“We have to go.” He glanced at Xiao Zhan who’s smiling at his side like a kid. “I’ll come back for you, okay?” He only got a happy nod as a reply.

First, he took out his friend who’s literally asleep and guide him to his car. He even had to look around just to make sure no one’s watching them from afar. It’s hard to be a celeb, paranoia flows naturally.

After he put him on the back seat, he was about to come back for Xiao Zhan when someone tugs on the hem of his shirt. He turned around and saw the older smiling at him innocently. 

Great! He followed him already.

Yibo sighed. This man should be careful. He’s a rising star and it isn’t ideal to act like this when drunk. He opened the door to the passenger seat and Xiao Zhan invited himself in with a loud ‘Yay!’

Inside the car, he borrowed Xiao Zhan’s phone to call his manager and as expected Miss Lee was indeed mad. But she thanked him for taking care of her talent. She said that she’ll notify the hotel staffs for his car to use the private entrance and she’ll wait at the underground parking.

First, he dropped Yuchen off to his parental home before heading to the hotel where Xiao Zhan was staying in.

Yibo glanced at the time. It’s past four and he couldn’t understand himself why he’s doing this – acting like an employed driver – when he has his own busy schedule.  


Xiao Zhan wakes up at someone lightly tugging him. He opened his eyes and the first he saw was Wang Yibo.

“We’re here.” The younger said in monotone.  
Here? Xiao Zhan looked around. Purple Lotus Hotel. He quickly unbuckled himself and opened the side door.

“Hey—where are you going?!” Yibo chased him, tugging at his arm.

Xiao Zhan laughed and gestured his finger pointing up.

“No!” He was pulled inside the car. Yibo stood by the passenger seat and tend to him. "You must wait for your manager here. You can’t risk someone seeing you at this state!” 

The younger lowered his beanie and fixed his scarf to cover half of his face but he brushed off his hands and pulled the scarf away.

“It’s hot Bo-di!”

“You need it.”

“I don’t want it!” Xiao Zhan cried. “I always need to wear one just to not be seen. Can’t I be wherever I want?!”

“This is your chosen path.”

“I chose to be an artist, not someone else’s dog that needs to be leashed when going out.”

Yibo sighed. It’s nonsense arguing with drunk person. He just stayed quiet and started fixing Xiao Zhan’s disguise once again. 

Xiao Zhan twitched his lips like a child in tantrums but he gave up and let Yibo do whatever he wants.

“Bo-di you are like Superman, you know?” He said after a while. Yibo looked a bit surprise and he giggled at this.

“We’re never close but this is not the first time that you helped me in the most unexpected way.” He smiled – the kind that makes his eyes form a crescent. He reached for the younger’s cheek which he gently caressed. “I don’t know if I ever thanked you enough but… I’m grateful.”

\---

Carman wanted to throw the remote control as she browsed through the channel. Every news there is has only one content.

“Xiao Zhan!” She called in her most authoritative tone. 

Instead of Xiao Zhan, it was Meika who appeared in front of her. “What is it manager?”

“Get Xiao Zhan here. We need to talk.”

The girl was about to say another word but as soon as her eyes traveled to the TV screen, she almost dropped her jaw.

“Okay Manager Lee.” Was the only thing she managed to say before running into Xiao Zhan’s bed room. She even forgot to knock in panic.

Xiao Zhan wakes up at someone vehemently shaking him by the shoulders. He opened his eyes and he felt the throbbing of his head. Here it comes! The hang over.

“M-Meika… what is it?” He asked, caressing his head. 

Finally, the girl stopped shaking him once he spoke up. He sat up and eyed the clock. 9:23 AM, he slept for another five hours!

“Is he up, Meika?!” He heard his manager’s shout in the next room. Well, they are in a two bedroom suite by the way.

“Meimei, what is that?”

Meika looks at him with worry. “Zhan Zhan, you should look at the news.”

“The news?” 

The girl just nodded and helped him up. 

“I told you a thousand times to be careful! To always think about the possible outcome before you decide on doing things!”

Manager Lee shouted again, she’s standing across the living room, pointing at the television. She was fuming mad but there’s also worry in her voice.

“What is it manager?"

“Look at the news!”

Xiao Zhan nervously gulped and glanced at the television on the wall… and he was petrified at what he saw. 

The headline reads –

**Not Just Friends, Confirmed**

“If you so want to party, you shouldn’t drink to this point! You’re already 27, Xiao Zhan! You’re a celebrity, you must know the boundaries! And it’s not just you! Yibo was just being nice that but this is what he got?! A huge scandal?!” Carman said, exasperated.

“D-Don’t panic manager.” But he sounded on-edge as well. “I’m sure they’ll ask for our accounts. We can just deny it. I’m sure the company will do someth—”

“The company?” Carman looks at him hastily.

“The news said it was confirmed. While you were in your bedroom snoring, the reporters already bombarded the companies with questions, and they confirmed it! Yours and Wang Yibo’s.”

Confirmed. Xiao Zhan eyed the TV once again and read the lead paragraph.

**To end the speculations, both of their companies issued an official statement and confirmed Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan are dating.**

Screenshots of the said letters from both Congming and LZ were also shown in the national TV.

“Mr. Koo of LZ Entertainment even asked for people’s understanding and support for the new couple saying that ‘The society must normalize celebrities dating, gender equality and must stop the stigma for the same-sex relationship as no gender should pose as the boundary of love and it has nothing to do with their celebrity status as they are still the artists who the fans supported and it will never change just because of sexuality.” The reported said.

And there’s a photo of him and Yibo at the latter’s car, he was holding the younger’s cheek while smiling so wide. He doesn’t even remember what they were talking about – and how on Earth did he put a hand on Yibo’s face without dying of embarrassment?!

In the public’s eye, he’s dating Wang Yibo. The Wang Yibo! Xiao Zhan looked around him, desperately seeking for answers. He needed to do something! But what it is? Who would help him clear things up?

“Manager… Manager.” He called, afraid to look at her. “I need to talk to them."

"No.” Carman shook her head and walked to the door. “I’ll talk to them.”

“But it was my—” He was cut off by his manager’s glare.

“Don’t you ever go outside or you’ll be bombarded by reporters. Listen to me Zhan-Zhan.” She sighed and tried to compose herself. “Stay here. If you are needed, you’d be summoned.”

“But—”

“We can’t be careless for now. This scandal will get bigger and it’s not only you we needed to think of. We also need to think of Yibo! Before we have a clear understanding of what’s happening, we won’t get you out in risk of encountering the paparazzi. Trust me.”

Xiao Zhan could just nod, tears started forming within his eyes. What the heck just happened? And how on Earth would he face Yibo after this?!


	2. A Form of Blessing

“Can we—Can we just let it be?”

Xiao Zhan finally had the courage to ask Yibo, breaking the silence. They’ve been sitting in front of each other for quite a while now but all they did was to awkwardly avoid each other’s eyes.

Manager Lee’s attempt yesterday to know the reasons about the dating confirmation was futile. She learned nothing, but Xiao Zhan was suddenly summoned this morning by Lush Zeal’s Managing Director, Louis Koo. After the talk with him, he hurriedly made his way and headed for Congming – right now, he’s inside Wang Yibo’s practice room.

“Let what be?” Yibo turned to him after a while.

“Th-The whole dating scandal?” He answered, voice hesitant. He wanted to hit his own head knowing that his request was beyond shameless.

“Are you serious?” Wang Yibo stood up. "What are we gonna tell the people? Never in my career did I fake a relationship.”

“But…” Xiao Zhan looked down. “I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“How can I deny it by myself?”

“By yourself? I’m here.” Yibo gestured himself. “I waited for you, so we can confess the truth together.”

Xiao Zhan didn’t expect him to say that. Hearing those words from Yibo warms his insides, yet he couldn’t do it.

“Yibo, my agency confirmed that we’re dating. What more can I do with that?”

Yibo shook his head. “Don’t be afraid of your agency, be afraid of your fans. If we fake this thing and the truth comes out, how can you face them?”

Xiao Zhan gulped. It must be true but if his statement will differ with LZ Ent’s, what will his management say? Do? He’s just a rising star, he has no say with what the company wants.

He could still remember the talk he had with Mr. Koo.

_“Xiao Zhan, we’ve come to this point already, the relationship confirmation was out. What more do you need to say? To take it back will be a bigger mess.”_

_“But Mr. Koo—"_

_“Let’s just ride with it shall we?” Louis Koo crossed his arms._ _“We checked the market before confirming this. You shouldn’t worry.”_

_Checked the market? Xiao Zhan doubt it. In a matter of hours, after the photo of them was publicized, the confirmation of both agencies came up as well. How did they check the market as quick as that?_

_“And members of LGBTQIA already voiced out their support with you and Yibo. Your fans and his fans are okay with it as well. Can you really disappoint them? Xiao Zhan, if you take this back – what are we gonna say?”_

_“Mr. Koo, how do you expect me to lie about this?”_

_“You are an actor, isn’t it easy for you to lie? Li Chunhua, you know what happened with her because of that promotion for her short film? The public believed the promo, they were worried about her, some fans even gathered for a prayer meeting – efforts all for a lie.”_

_Li Chunhua is an idol who apparently went missing and the public closely followed the news about her. But after just a week and three days, she was spotted outside and everyone was mad for they really believed her abduction. Her management called for a press conference saying it was just to hype up her new drama with her, missing as a plot._

_“She was hated after that.” Mr. Koo continued. “This situation is a bit similar to that. Once you or Yibo take this back, do you think people will be happy about this?”_

_Louis Koo handed him a folder. “There goes your contract. If you are with us, that stays with us. But if you’re gonna go and do whatever you want, you can take that contract as you walk out of the door. My lawyer will reach out to you in a few days.”_

It was a threat. Xiao Zhan could be in the right but he wasn’t as big as Louis Koo. It will be hard to win over him in legal cases… and if he did win, what will he do after? Blacklisted celebrities aren’t just a myth. It happens in real life.

“Wang Yibo.” He stood up and mustered up all his courage to look into the younger’s eyes. “I know how selfish this would sound but please, help me.” He reached out for his hand and hold onto it, in the verge of tears. “You don’t have to be nice to me off-cam b-but I really need your help.”

The younger turned his gaze away from him.

“And on-cam?” Yibo's voice was sarcastic. “What are we gonna do? Kiss? Hold hands? What?”

Xiao Zhan doesn't have any answer on that. He was too busy being afraid that he hadn’t think of those things yet.

“Are we going to display affection in front of everyone? Or we’re gonna pretend like we don’t want people to see us and date in public with all those disguise but the original plan is to be spotted? I don’t even get why we have to do this.”

“I-I don’t get it as well.” Xiao Zhan said truthfully. 

Yibo scoffed. “Then why do this?”

 _Why_? Xiao Zhan let go of his embarrassment, his pride, his composure – he started sobbing, a hand still holding onto Yibo while his other hand covers his eyes.

“I can’t give up my career now, Yibo.” He said in between sobs.

The younger was at loss of words for a moment.

“D-Do you know how I—” Yibo paused through his sentence and retracted his words. “I like someone.” He said instead. “It’s been so long and my feelings has always been true for that person. How can I be able to fake something like this?”

Xiao Zhan bit his lip. What does he mean? All he could understand is that Yibo likes someone and it will be hard for him to pretend that he likes him instead. But even that, he doesn’t know whether he interpreted it correctly.

“Are you… dating her right now?” He questioned. Because if he is, then no matter how hard the situation is, then he’s not too shameless to beg Yibo to still pretend.

But rather than answering, Yibo stared at him with an indifferent face. “If we’re going to do this, then let’s just do it with less guilt.”

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“I mean, we try and date for real.”

Xiao Zhan felt like his world was shaken with the word ‘real’. Because fck, he didn’t expect that. 

Was it because dating for real gives them less guilt? Less lies? Even when they don’t have feelings for each other?

He felt suffocated at the thought. For him, Yibo was a star – ethereal but out of reach – and now, they are suddenly dating? He doesn’t know whether it was a nightmare or a sweet dream. 

_Is he even serious?_ His mind asked. Fake boyfriends is one thing, dating for real is another thing. It’s a real commitment.

Xiao Zhan glanced back at Yibo who remained unfazed. Boy, wasn’t joking! 

For this, he swallowed the lump in his throat and immediately bowed his head. “I swear, you will not regret helping me.”

“The things you’ll do for the sake of career” – Xiao Zhan heard Yibo scoffed before he went out of his own practice room. 

He felt ashamed in an instant. What does Yibo meant exactly? That he was desperate to do this for his work? He felt his shoulders sagged. It makes him sad… but that’s the truth anyway, he’s indeed desperate. A desperate loser.

For long, he wanted people to appreciate him, his arts, his crafts, his talent. Now that he’s starting to get appreciated, a scandal appeared and instead of dismissing the rumor, the company even approved of it. He was even threatened. What if he disagrees with them? They could shun him away, kick him out, blacklist him or they could do something behind everyone’s back to ruin his reputation. He wouldn’t have a chance to make a name for himself again. 

That shouldn’t be the case for he sacrificed many things for this. Everyone will laugh at him, mock him if he won’t be able to chase his dream. 

While Yibo? He’s well established, a star since he was young and now, a top celebrity. Even if he tells the truth, his agency wouldn’t just kick him out. Or if they would, other agencies will be on their knees just to get him. The blow of this issue against Yibo isn’t much compared to him. He has left with no choice but to submit to the company’s wishes and do everything to save his career. Although someday, he hopes, he’ll be able to decide for himself without fear for the future.

\---

“Xiao Zhan!” Carman’s hysterical call made him lower his gaze. Her voice echoed throughout the whole room.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry Manager Lee. I have to do it.”

Carman Lee rubbed her face with her hands, still in disbelief. She’s mad because he told her about his discussion with Yibo.

“Manager Lee, please calm down.” Their CCO, Director Tang said. He was smiling. “Let’s just focus on the future and not dwell on the past.”

“But director!” Carman exhaled, trying her best to retain his composure while talking to him. “This is Xiao Zhan’s career that’s on stake, how can I calm down? All we see are supports for now, but in the long run?”

“Entertainment companies do this all the time.”

Carman Lee frowned. A sudden idea struck her mind. Yes, entertainment companies do this all the time if they needed the diversion but this company has always been trusted by the people. They never do tricks like this.

There are only two reasons she can think of.

“C’mon. Everything will be okay.” Director Tang started again.

“I wish it will.” Xiao Zhan mumbled. “It feels like I’d be using him.”

Director Tang waved a hand, dismissing his worries. “He agreed to be used. What could it mean?” Then snapped a finger at him. “He has his own agenda too. Maybe he needs the publicity. It’s beneficial for both of you.”

Xiao Zhan wanted to glare at their CCO for what he heard. For this person to think that Yibo decided to use him to gain popularity is absurd. 

The benefit is on him, the burden is on Yibo and so, Xiao Zhan decided that even if it’s not a normal relationship, he will give his best efforts for Wang Yibo.

\---

“Ah, yeah. Boyfriend of the year is too busy baking cookies.” 

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes with Zhuocheng’s remark as he was putting the cookies into a container. He just finished baking while his friends are sprawling like lazy cats across the living room of his house.

“You’re just jealous, no one wants to be your boyfriend.” He barked back and put the container of cookies atop the coffee table. "Here, eat some sweets—”

“Yeah eat some sweets before your bitter ass gets dumped again.” Ji Li cut him off to shit on Zhuocheng.

“Hey that’s foul!" Zhuocheng complained, raising a fist as if threatening. “You’re always like this! I wonder why we’re ev—mmphh!” He glared at Yubin when the guy shove a cookie down his throat.

“What the fuck, Yubin?!” He complained – almost incoherently – while he’s still chewing the cookie. “What if I choked?”

“Why?! Isn’t that your fetish?!” 

Ji Li and Yubin burst out laughing at the latter’s dirty joke while Xiao Zhan tried his best not to.

“Yah!” Zhuocheng shouted once again. “Feti—you guys are gross! For your information, I have no experience with those things whatsoever.” It was followed by an eyeroll.

“Enough of that, enough of that!” Xiao Zhan waved off his hands. “Eat in harmony, kiddos.”

“We should now be called as Yibo’s taste-tester.” Yubin commented before munching a cookie down.

Yibo is filming a commercial today and Xiao Zhan plans on bringing him a snack – a part of his ‘best boyfriend project’. So he baked some cookies. He wanted to consult Manager Lee about this but she’s still giving him the silent treatment. She only talks to him if it’s work-related.

“Well, I’m not complaining.” Ji Li chuckled. “If the food is free, then I’ll grab it with all my heart.”

“So?” Xiao Zhan eyed his friends expectantly. “Does it tastes good?”

Ji Li nodded, his smile was so wide, he looked like a happy goat. He was about to get another one from the container when Zhuocheng slapped his hand away.

“Everything tastes good when you ask him.” Zhuocheng said side-eyeing Ji Li. “Give him a rat poison and he will eat it while thanking the heavens.”

“Aiya A-Cheng!” Ji Li whined. “Why are you being this way?”

“Ah don’t mind him!” Yubin chimed in, waving a hand off to Ji Li. “He’s in a bad mood cause jie, ignored him again.”

“Jie?” Xiao Zhan asked. “Ziyi?” Yubin nodded and Xiao Zhan tried his best not to laugh.

Ziyi is Yubin’s cousin and Zhuocheng likes her ever since she deadlocked him with a chokehold.

“Shut up Yubin. Your cousin isn’t that pretty—don’t like her!” He scoffed and crossed his arms.

“Aish! We shouldn’t talk about these things – Zhuocheng hasn’t got any hope with her anyway.” Ji Li got a pillow on his face from that remark but he just laughed it off.

"Tell us Zhan Zhan, what’s going on with the relationship? I think visiting him on set is a good move.”

“I don’t know why this is a big deal!” Zhuocheng snorted. “Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo agreed to be real boyfriends. It’s normal to hang out.”

Ji Li pushed Zhuocheng’s shoulder. “I know that! Don’t insult my I.Q. but are you stupid? They only tried dating out of guilt, because it’s what the public know, it’s what they’ll do. At the end of the day, it’s not far from pretense… at least of course if feelings are involved.” Then he glanced at Xiao Zhan with a teasing smile. “I actually think that it’s not too hard to involve your feelings tho.”

“Wh-What do you mean?” Xiao Zhan asked with wide eyes.

“Oh don’t use that innocent card. In the past, when it comes to celebrity gatherings, you often try hard to not cross paths with Yibo, right?”

“I-It’s because… he witnessed my struggles. I don’t want to face him not until I’m worthy enough for his acknowledgment.”

“Eh ehhh!” Yubin butt in with a raised index finger. “More than that, maybe it’s because you like him long before this dating scandal.”

“Yah!” He shouted and stood up. “Where the heck are you coming from?”

“From all the times you tried your best to avoid him.”

Xiao Zhan’s lips twitched and yanked the container where he put his cookies away from them. “Fine, think of whatever you want. I need to go.” 

He left them in the living room to take a quick shower. 

“Do you need a driver?” Ji Li asked after a while. "Our A-Cheng could drive you there.”

“No!”

“Please, don’t leave us with him Zhan Zhan.” It was Yubin’s plea but he just smiled at him mischievously.

“Well, you teased him too much. It’s your fault.” He stick out a tongue at Yubin and Ji Li before eyeing Zhuocheng. “A-Cheng, if you’re finished, please dispose the bodies and scrub the floor.”

“Yeah, no trace of blood, Master.” Zhuocheng smirked and bowed at him.

Xiao Zhan laughed before heading for the door. Outside, he can still hear his friends shouting at each other.

\---

Xiao Zhan patiently waits for Yibo inside the latter’s dressing room. His P.A. said Yibo will have a few minutes break later.

“Oh. It’s a surprise to see you here.”

Xiao Zhan looked behind him and saw Kei, an actress under Congming Entertainment, in short – Yibo’s labelmate. She’s smiling but her tone sounds condescending.

“Ah…” Xiao Zhan isn’t the best person when it comes to socializing and so he doesn’t know what to say. “Good to see you here as well.” He tried to smile.

Kei’s smile went wider, but it doesn’t look friendly at all. She sauntered into the room and stopped in front of him. “As well? I didn’t say it’s good to see you. I said, it was a surprise.”

_What?_

“Excuse me?”

“Shouldn’t I be surprised? You never went to any of Yibo’s shoot and we all just wake up one day with the news that you guys are dating? Sounds shady wasn’t it?”

Xiao Zhan gasped. He’s surprise but not because Kei thinks they are suspicious but rather, because he thought at least Wang Yibo’s labelmates knew the truth about them. If that isn’t the case then he should be more careful.

“Wh-What do you know about Yibo’s love life anyway?” He retorted, in a sort of defensive tone.

“We’re under the same agency. We’re a lot closer than you think.”

Xiao Zhan’s eye brow hoisted slightly. Does she like Yibo? He felt a speck of annoyance bubbled inside him. Then he was reminded that Yibo likes someone too. Is it her?

“Do you like him?” He tried to sound casual but it sounds more like a nagging kid. “How close are you, huh?”

Kei looks a bit surprise with his sudden possessiveness. He can’t blame her though, he’s surprised with himself as well. He likes to think that he just got carried away with playing the boyfriend part that he easily got affected by this girl who appears to have a crush on Yibo.

“As I have said—”

“Kei, that’s enough.”

Both of their heads turned to the door. It was Yibo.

“What are you even doing here? This is my dressing room?”

Kei didn’t answer, instead she just rolled her eyes before walking out of the room, stomping her feet as she leaves.

 _So much for being close_ – Said the evil part of Xiao Zhan’s brain.

“Why are you smiling?”

At the mention of his triumphant smile, Xiao Zhan quickly erased it off his face.

“And why are you here?”

“Ah Y-Yibo…” He rubbed his nape, a sudden wave of embarrassment washed through him. “I just wanna—” As he couldn’t continue his words, Xiao Zhan raised the paper bag he’s holding. “I made some cookies.”

“C-Cookies?” Yibo’s eyes flinched.

Xiao Zhan noted that the younger also stammered. Well, that’s cute.

“Y-You shouldn’t have bothered.”

“Eh?”

“I already ate.” Yibo avoided his gaze. “And yes we are publicly dating but you just can’t barge into my shoots without my consent. The production team, the staffs – everyone talks about us, it makes me uncomfortable.”

His smile faded. So that’s what Yibo feels about him, he makes him uncomfortable—this whole situation makes him uncomfortable.

They might have gotten a lot of support but the reality is, homosexual relationship still holds a stigma in this society. Many people still think it’s gross. It’s weird, it’s out of the norm yet Yibo has to face those words because of him.

“I’m sorry.” He bowed and tried his best to smile. "D-Don’t worry I won’t… I won’t do this again. Here.” He put the paper bag that contains the cookies he baked atop the dressing table.

“Ah yeah…” He tried to chuckle. “I have to get going.” Just that and he started walking away.

He heard Yibo sighed, even softly called his name but he didn’t stop, the younger didn’t repeat the call anyway.

Xiao Zhan was on the way to his car but he slowed down when he saw a bunch of paparazzi in front of the building, there are some fans too. 

Are they waiting for Yibo? Or someone saw him when he entered the studio earlier? He wanted to run back inside but they already spotted him.

“Ah! It’s him, it’s him!” One journalist waved at him and urged a cameraman to start filming.

Xiao Zhan was nervous, they will certainly interrogate him about his relationship with Yibo and they haven’t had a discussion about this yet. Things like how did they become a couple, who’s the first one to make a move – and they could dig further about their sexuality. Sexuality is an extensive and sensitive topic.

“Xiao Zhan, did you visit Wang Yibo?”

He took a step back when one reporter almost shove a mic onto his face.

“Xiao Zhan, you just went in. Are you leaving already?”

“Did you two fight?”

Instead of answering, he glanced at where his car was parked. Shit. How can he go there? These people might mob him.

“Ah, no we’re not fighting.” He tried to sound as lighthearted as he could.

“Xiao Zhan, what can you say about the support you’re getting?”

“There are also some haters who think you should’ve kept the relationship hidden. Do you have any message for them?”

Xiao Zhan doesn’t know what to answer anymore, or how to smile amidst all of these paparazzi chaos. 

“I’m sorry but—” His words died in his throat when someone suddenly pulled him by the wrist, tucking him behind. Xiao Zhan felt a lot more relaxed upon seeing who it was.

 _He followed me?_ The thought somehow relieved him.

“Please don’t bother him too much.” Yibo told the reporters. “We are trying our best to meet despite our busy schedules but we also have other commitments we must attend to. Zhan-ge and I will be extremely grateful if you’ll be considerate. This not the best time for us to do an interview.”

“Ah so you call him Zhan-ge? No other endearment?”

Yibo just gave the smallest smile he could with the question.

“Yibo, we just want to hear anything from the both of you since you kept your silence after the scandal.” 

“What more do you wanna hear?” Yibo asked, he looks casual outside as if these things don’t make him nervous anymore. Xiao Zhan think it was cool. “Our agencies made it clear that we’re dating.” Then he raised both their hands and let go of his wrist to intertwined their fingers together. Showing it off to everyone. “Do we still need to say anything?”

Xiao Zhan’s palm started sweating in an instant, his face got hot as well. Because fck, if your hand was held by Wang Yibo – you’ll definitely blush as well. It’s a reflex – he likes to think.

Fans behind the reporters started squealing so loud at what they’ve witnessed. But there will always be disagreement. Some of their solo stans started shouting at each other. Thank God, securities finally came and stopped the fans who were having verbal fights while the others escorted Yibo and Xiao Zhan to the latter’s car.

Xiao Zhan didn’t say anything and tried to keep on with Yibo’s pace. Once beside his car, Yibo finally let go of his hand.

“Next time you’re gonna visit my set, make sure no one’s following you. Everyone here is busy yet we needed to take a break just to handle these reporters.”

Xiao Zhan doesn’t know what to respond on that. “Are you mad?” 

Yibo seemed a bit surprise with his question.

“I’m—well, what do you expect?”

“You were the one who said we must date for real so I was… I was just being sweet. I’m sorry.”

“We’re now dating but that doesn’t include you forcing yourself to look after me.”

“So, it’s just a label?” Xiao Zhan doesn’t know why he felt disappointed at that. “What’s the difference between dating for real and dating fakely if for you, being boyfriends is just a label then?”

Yibo’s brows furrowed. 

“A-And I’m not forcing myself to look after you. I’m doing this because I want to.” Because he promised to give his best efforts for Wang Yibo.

“Y-You want to?” Xiao Zhan doesn’t know whether it was just his imagination but Yibo’s tone got a lot lighter. 

“O-Of course.” He rubbed his nape and eyed the ground. “If we’re gonna do this, then let’s go all out. Maybe we can at least enjoy this while it lasts, Yibo.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts?” Yibo whispered, more to himself.

“A-And, since rumors are from insiders as well, we have to look believable in front of the staffs and workmates too, right?” He reasoned out after a while.

“So you want to give them something to talk about?”

Xiao Zhan didn’t answer. It was just his alibi though. He had expected that the guy would get pissed and start walking away but rather than doing so, Yibo raised a hand and swept away the hair on his forehead. 

“If so then do what you want… and I’ll do whatever I want.”

Before Xiao Zhan could ask what he meant by that, Yibo already pulled him by his face and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. It was chaste. He hadn’t got the time to react as by the time he recovered from the shock, Yibo was already back-facing him, a hand waving in midair. 

“See you, Zhan-ge.”

“What the fuck was that?!” He muttered to himself while feeling the strong hammering inside his chest. 

Just earlier, he was acting so cold – Xiao Zhan was too mortified to even look him in the eyes and now what? He got a kiss? What the heck was Yibo even thinking?

_Why is he unpredictable?!_

Never in his wildest dream did he think of being kissed by Wang Yibo. Even when they weren’t close, Yibo has been there from his very start, and so he felt so low and insecure whenever the younger was around. The guy knows his failures, the hardships he went through before his big break. He had once thought that he could never reach him but now he actually got a kiss! It was a form of blessing! But why should he be blessed when he’s lying to everyone?!

Xiao Zhan looked around and saw some fans and the paparazzi are still eyeing them from the distance. Maybe it was all for a show?

 _Yeah, maybe that was the reason._ He snorted before getting into his car.


	3. Seal of Loyalty

It’s been two days since the forehead kiss, it’s also been two days since Xiao Zhan endlessly look for the paparazzi’s photo of it that circulates Weibo.

Meika once caught him searching for it and she teased him saying that he should just save it to his gallery. Xiao Zhan just huffed at that, he won’t ever admit that he did save the photo into his phone’s gallery, and he’s looking it up on Weibo just to see the fans’ comments.

Just like right now, he’s lazily plopping on the couch of his living room as he browse through Weibo again.

“Enough of that phone.” He straightened his back and quickly hide his phone away when he heard the frightening voice of his Manager behind.

Does he have any work left? Xiao Zhan thinks there isn’t any.

“Manager Lee.” He called. “What is it?”

“If you’re really determined to go on with the pretense then you should at least keep track of Yibo’s career, you might learn a thing or two about him. Information that could be useful in the future.”

Xiao Zhan’s eyes turned wide and round. Does he heard her right?

“I thought you’re not okay with—”

Carman’s sigh cut him off. She took the remote control from the rack and opened the television. “I’m not okay with it but what else can I do? You already made a decision. He even kissed you on the forehead for everyone to see. Then the least we can do is to stand by it.”

Xiao Zhan jumped to his feet and approached his manager with a smile. “So, Manager, you’re not mad anymore?”

“When did I ever get mad at you, huh?” Carman scowled and jokingly hit his head with the remote control. “I’m just worried, that’s all. Now, go and have your daily dose of Wang Yibo.”

Xiao Zhan was pushed back to the sofa and was instructed to watch a show just because Wang Yibo is the guest there.

Well, he did learn something about him like Yibo was nicknamed ‘gremlin’ by his friends because he could break anything with his bare hands. And that he hates pretending the most – Xiao Zhan even sneered because it was a perfect hit as if Yibo knows he’ll be watching and decided to throw a pebble at him.

Whenever the interview is nearing the end, there’d be a fast talk wherein the MC will ask random questions and the guests answer it as fast they could. Today’s show already came to that point.

“Favorite day?”

“Ah, everyday!” Yibo answered cleverly.

“Motorcycle or skateboard?”

Yibo twitched as if it was hard to answer. “Mm… Motorcycle.”

“Racing or Acting?”

Yibo gulped at this. “Both?”

“That’s cheating but fine.” The host laughed. “How many times did you fall in love?”

Yibo? Fell in love? In all honesty, he gave an impression that he’s too hard to please.

He watched as the younger contemplated for an answer. 

“Uhm… Many times?”

The answer made him harrumphed. In all those times, it’s never with him.

“Many times for a single person.” Yibo added.

Xiao Zhan gawked at the television. How can Yibo be this sweet on TV and be an indifferent person off-cam? If only the younger is as sweet as this in person.

Some of the audience screamed and started chanting Xiao Zhan’s name. What they do not know is that, Yibo was talking about the one he truly likes… and it’s not him.

“Okay, good answer.” The host flipped another paper that contains a question.

“Favorite snack?”

“Ah…” Yibo smiled softly and scratched his nape. “I like little cookies.”

Xiao Zhan hoisted an eyebrow. Little cookies? Is he talking about the cookies he brought on set? 

“Ah, Zhan!” He whined at himself. “Don’t be too conceited. He might have like it long before.”

“Our Yibo does have a sweet tooth?”

“Eh.” The younger tilted his head as if thinking. “Not too much. But I like sweet people, those who give me sweet stuffs? I like them.”

 _Is he talking about me?_ Xiao Zhan slapped himself softly. He’s getting too carried away. Of course, Yibo isn’t just talking about him! He’s just acting cutely on TV like what other celebrities do. 

“Ah Wang Yibo! You like sweet people? So is it safe to say that Xiao Zhan is the sweet type?”

Xiao Zhan snorted. At least he’s not the only one who assumed Yibo was talking about him. 

Yibo’s smile got a lot wider with the question and the audience on the background started making teasing noises.

“Ah this gege!” Yibo pointed at the host, forcing himself to look like he’s about to throw tantrums but the smile that broke off his lips betrayed him.

“Really this boy!” The host laughed. “Just talking about him makes you so happy like this?”  
  
Yibo scrunched his nose. “Yah, gege that’s enough!”

However, the host didn’t listen to him. “Zhan-ge is really something else, huh?” He even quoted the word ‘Zhan-ge’ then he turned to the audience. “Have you seen that video from the other day, guys? Our Yibo likes sweet people but he can’t even call his boyfriend in a cute way! Old plain, Zhan-ge? Pffftt! That’s boring! Who calls their boyfriend like that?”

Yibo stood up and joked that he’s gonna walk out of the studio if they continue the topic but no one seems to take him seriously. 

“Gege!” Yibo whined again. “We’re doing the fast talk! Why are we suddenly talking about Zhan-ge?”

At the mention of his name, the studio erupted in another round of laughs from the audience.

“Don’t you like talking about him?” Yibo pouted at the question and the host finally gave up. “Okay, okay. But before we continue, at least leave your boyfriend a message!” He gestured the camera. 

“Do we have to do this?” Came Yibo’s protest as he fidgets uncomfortably.

The live viewers started chanting ‘Do it’ while clapping their hands putting more pressure onto Yibo and so, after a moment he sighed, defeated.

“Zhan-ge.” Yibo paused for a while and let out a light chuckle. “I know I was kind of overbearing last time, but I ate the cookies so don’t feel bad anymore. I promise, I’ll behave properly next time.”

“That’s all?” – Host

“What more do you want to hear?” – Yibo

“C’mon Yibo! We all know what that is!”

“Ahh!” Yibo waved off his hand. “It should be between me and him, I’m not comfortable saying it aloud.”

“Just once!” - Host

“No, gege! Your show is overtime already!”

“Just once!”

Yibo rolled his eyes but his smile wasn’t faltering either. He gaze at the camera again and while rubbing his neck, “Zhan-ge, didi ai ni.”

Something inside Xiao Zhan fluttered, he didn’t even realize it when his smile became a wide amused grin. Watching his boyfriend flaunting their romance on the television gives him a sense of pride. He can get used to this.

\---

Carman almost choked when she heard Yibo saying “Zhan-ge, didi ai ni” on TV. Confirming romance between the same gender is too much risk already. Flashing it on TV is much more complicated. She doesn’t know whether it was a joke or it was his script to draw the fans in… nonetheless, she’s worried.

Why?

She narrowed her eyes as she silently observes Xiao Zhan. He chortles, sneers, giggles and even snorts occasionally while he was watching the television. He literally acts like a teenager who’s being mentally and emotionally wrecked in a good way. This is the first time she witnessed him like this as he’s usually composed and timid. It makes her worried.

When the show ended, Xiao Zhan glanced at her with such shimmering eyes. 

“Manager, do you think Yibo meant what he said?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Which one?” He literally said too many things she doubts if real.

“That he’ll behave properly the next time?” Xiao Zhan asked hopefully. “Because last time, he acted like he didn’t want to see me but when the paparazzi came, he gave me a forehead kiss.”

Carman sighed. Xiao Zhan is a smart kid, and he’s someone with strong determination yet sometimes, he’s too naïve for this world.

“Zhan, I seriously don’t have any idea but it came out from your own mouth. He didn’t want you to be there but he was sweet in front of the media. At the end of the day, it was you who begged him do this – so do the calculation, do you think he wanted this?”

However when Xiao Zhan’s shoulders sagged, Carman was quickly eaten by guilt.

“I just want to say that, all this may become too overwhelming for you, you might get carried away… and… and—" _fall in love for real._

“Don’t worry, Manager.” Xiao Zhan meek. “I can handle myself well but I just want to truly enjoy this thing. For as long as he’s my boyfriend, I’ll try my best to only look at Yibo and repay his kindness. But I know where we stand and I know that what we have could end anytime.”

Carman shrugged her shoulders. These two are complicated! Know where he stand? But with what he said, it’s as if he’s willing to risk the chances of falling in love for real!

“If you say so Zhan Zhan.” Is what she managed to say yet she knew base on experience that no one is in control when it comes to love. 

She thought it was the end of their conversation but after a while, Xiao Zhan said something again.

“But you know manager, when he said we try and date for real, I thought he meant it was indeed something real – but we don’t even talk about dates and hang outs. I don’t understand him!”

Her brows furrowed at that. “Both of you are unpredictable! I don’t know if you’re going out for work or you’re going out for your conscience. I thought you guys agreed to be boyfriends in real life? Then go on and have a real date already! Goodness!” 

Of course it was a joke, but Xiao Zhan seriously considered his manager’s words. He pondered with that thought for days. What she said makes sense. Yibo said they’ll date for real – then that means they are now authentic. That being said, then he should stop thinking that everything they’re doing is for publicity and he should start doing everything whole-heartedly.  
  
If he’s gonna make people believe that he’s in love then he should make himself believe that as well. Starting from now on, even when there’s no camera around, even if he’s with his friends, even if he’s booked out and the non-celebrity Xiao Zhan, he will still regard Yibo as his boyfriend. He’s pledging his loyalty.

That is the only thing that could lessen his guilt. To try and make everything as real as possible. Xiao Zhan thinks it was easy, as just imagining taking care of Yibo sends him warmth and melts his insides.

It excites him…

So one day, when he was about to leave the LZ building, Xiao Zhan already had a plan in his mind. Yes, he promised Wang Yibo that he won’t visit him again on set without a consent but well – he could just reason out that he isn’t visiting him on set – as he’d go straight to his house. 

He will cook dinner for his boyfriend. 

Xiao Zhan giggled at his thoughts but to his surprise, once the elevator doors opened up, a familiar face covered his line of vision. His smile faded and his eyes doubled their size.

“Yibo!”

“Zhan-ge.”

They said in chorus.

“Wh-What are you doing here?” He asked as he went out of the elevator. 

It’s not like celebrities who were signed in a different agency visit other labels in normal days. 

“Do you have a collaboration project?” That’s the first thing he thought. Maybe he’s gonna collaborate with other LZ artists? “With who?”

“I’m here for you, silly.”

Xiao Zhan’s eyes went round. For me? He couldn’t find his voice so he just pointed at himself.

“Why is it a shocker? You are my boyfriend.”

That was even more shocking! But Wang Yibo said it with such a straight face. Xiao Zhan wonders where did his cuteness from the interview a few days ago went? 

“B-Boyfriend?” Xiao Zhan frowned and straightened his demeanor. “Yibo, we must make this clear once and for all. Are we dating in real life?”

“What did we discuss about?”

“I-It was because last time you were—”

“Forget that Zhan-ge.” Yibo scratched his cheek and avoided his gaze. “I meant it when I said that we should date for real. Last time though, I’m sorry for the words I told you, I just thought you were forcing yourself to look after me that’s why I got annoyed.”

“So we’re now okay?”

Yibo just nodded, he looks a bit shy as he rubs his nape. “Here.”

The guy extended his arm, a plushie on hand. It’s only this time did Xiao Zhan notice that Yibo was holding a bunny stuffed toy… and boy why the heck is he handing him that?

“You gave me cookies last time but I kicked you out of my set. I passed by a store earlier and I just thought that maybe I should give you a peace offering.”

Xiao Zhan squirmed a little, couldn’t comprehend how unpredictable Yibo is. “Uh… Thanks.” He quipped and accepted the offer. “Why—Why rabbit?” He asked.

Yibo finally smiled, it was small but teasing. It must have been the first time he smiled while they are talking – with this, something tugs at Xiao Zhan’s heart.

“It reminded me of you, somehow.” The younger continued.

 _Me? A bunny?_ Xiao Zhan doesn’t want to hope but maybe it was a praise, right?

“How?” He stared at him innocently.

“The way you smiled when you call me Superman.”

_Ehh?!_

He called Wang Yibo what? Superman?! Fucking when?

A wave of heat swarmed all throughout his face. 

“Wh-When was—?” He stuttered. “I don’t remember that I—”

“When you were drunk, inside my car… as you touched my cheek.”

Xiao Zhan felt like a bomb was dropped in front of him. So that was the time they were pictured together? He called him Superman?

_Really Xiao Zhan, how embarrassing can you get?_

\---

“Sir, you were being invited by Mr. Chan of Shinjian Music for dinner this coming Friday. Do we respond now or—”

Louis Koo raised his hand to interrupt his assistant. “Why is he having a dinner party? Last time I heard his stocks went down the hill?”

“He’ll be retiring soon, sir. He’ll be presenting the new head of the company as well.”

He waved his hand. “Don’t bother responding. I’ll just go if I could. So, tell me, what happened between the discussion of Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan?”

“I heard they both agreed to not refute.”

His lips curled slightly. If those two were to deny the allegations, the whole agency will be labeled as fabricator so even when Xiao Zhan didn’t receive too many backlash, at least he’s still playing by his game. It’s still a win for him.

“What about Manager Lee? What did she say?”

His assistant shook a head. “She still thinks it’s stupid but she stopped protesting about it. Maybe she knows that if Xiao Zhan takes this back, he’ll receive a lot of hate.”

Louis Koo nodded. “That’s good.”

“And Mr. Koo, before I forgot, Wang Yibo was seen inside the building earlier. He left with Xiao Zhan.”

 _Oh?_ He was surprised with that. _Are they close even before this?_ Louis frowned. No, that’s impossible. If they are close then he should’ve known about it. He keeps track of Xiao Zhan’s life – he even know the Purple Lotus Hotel incident even before the media asked him about it. He has his connections and sources.

He was even the one who sent that photo to Congming Entertainment and asked their standpoint about it. Turns out, they’re CEO He Peng was waiting for an opportunity like that as well – although he didn’t know why he needed Yibo to be scandalized, Louis Koo never asked. He just agreed.

“Why?” He managed to ask.

“From what I heard, they’re trying to date for real.”

_Date for real?!_

He wanted to laugh at how naïve those two can get. That’s interesting, at least if they wanna get along well, there’ll be more time of them together. More time of them together equals to more rumors to make. 

“Okay, you are dismissed.”

His assistant bowed and left the room. Louis Koo glanced at his wristwatch. 

It’s almost seven. He still have a dinner party to attend in which he should’ve been there an hour ago. It’s his intention to be late, it’s not like he wanted to be there anyway.

\---

Carman remains quiet as she listens to the jazz band on the stage. She’s currently here at the Koo family’s residence. Sandy Koo – the wife of Lush Zeal Entertainment’s founder, Koo Ching Wan – is holding a dinner for her 81st birthday. 

Even when the party is being held in the garden, Carman felt like she’d suffocate anytime. From politicians to celebrities, the party is jam-packed with people of high-status.

If only not for her father, she could have been at home, slouching at her couch or at Xiao Zhan’s house, nagging him about the smallest thing there is.

Speaking of that kid, she puts out her phone and left him a message, just to check on him. 

The reply she got was unexpected. Xiao Zhan said that he’s with Yibo. That made her wonder. What are they doing together? Are they finally carrying out their supposedly ‘real couple’ relationship and acting like normal boyfriends?

Truth be told, she doesn’t know whether that will do Xiao Zhan any good. She feels worthless for she failed to protect him from the agency.

“Carman, what are you worrying about?”

Her thoughts were interrupted by his father’s call. He glanced at her phone.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Uh… Just Xiao Zhan. I’m checking on him.”

Chenhui nodded at his daughter. “How’s the boy? I heard his scandal. Is he doing well?”

Carman smiled. “Yeah, it’s a good thing that they harnessed millions of support.” That’s actually one thing she’s thankful for. Yibo and Zhan’s fans are doing their best to mask the hate, and also LGBTQIA supporters are actively leaving positive comments about the two on SNS.

“That’s a good thing.” Chenhui chuckled.

Carman beamed at his father. She didn’t tell him that it was just the agency’s gimmick. Her father was an old friend of Koo Ching Wan and he was a former director of LZ Entertainment as well. Her father was pretty close with Louis Koo – the current CEO but there were things from the past that ruined that bond. If she tells him that Xiao Zhan’s scandal was just a stunt, her father will get more disappointed with Louis… at least for old time’s sake, she didn’t want that to happen.

Sandy Koo gestured them to come have a seat with their table which is where some of their closest friends are sitting.

Honestly, she wanted to avoid these people but her father started walking up to them while tugging at her elbow.

"Just for tonight, Carman." He whispered.

“You’re still pretty, Carman. How old are you now?” Sandy Koo asked after they took a seat.

“I’m already 48, Madame.”

“48?! Why you look like you’re in your 30’s!” The old lady glanced at the other visitors who share their table. “When my son was still alive, I urged him many times to have a date with Miss Lee but—” She shook her head. “She liked someone else’s son.”

 _Someone else’s son?_ Carman exhaled. 

“I’m sorry, I’m late.”

 _Speaking of the devil_. Carman tried to look as indifferent as she can. Everyone on their table stopped talking when he appeared.

“Ah! Louis!” Madame Koo chimed in. “We didn’t even notice your absence.” And she laughed lightheartedly as if she didn’t mean for him to be offended. “Anyway, next time you should be able to come on time. You’re now the head of this family, it’s humiliating that our guests have to wait for you.”

Louis glanced at her, icy orbs as usual. “I’m sure Madame will find a way to entertain the visitors. Aren’t you the one who called for this dinner?”

Madame Koo, flipped her fan, one brow hoisted. “You should at least have some decency to help the family prepare for this dinner. Your cousins, even your nephews and nieces are here before you.”

“Ah, I almost forgot.” Louis chuckled but it wasn’t out of happiness. He shook his head and took a seat at the edge of the table. “I’m a part of this family and I should be a more responsible son the next time.”

Those words were meant to insult Sandy Koo as it isn’t a secret that Louis is just a son out of wedlock and he’s not in the best terms with his step mother.

The old lady didn’t say anything, she just looked at Louis with disgust. If not for Chenhui clearing his throat, the awkward atmosphere could have gotten worse.

“So, Louis, how’s the business going?” He asked. 

Louis acknowledge the man with a nod. “Doing good, Sir.”

Sandy Koo shook her head once again before her smile returned, then she turned her gaze back to Carman.

“So, where are we again?” Madame Koo asked. “Oh yeah, I was saying my son never dated you. If only he was quick-witted. He should’ve left a son before he was gone. Now, we have no choice but to let someone else’s son handle our family business.”

“Sandy, you really liked her for Liu?” One visitor asked, she’s at the same age as Madame Koo. 

Madame Koo nodded. “She’s still pretty now but you should’ve seen her when she was younger! Maybe I just want to have a beautiful daughter-in-law.”

Carman didn’t know what to say on that. She doesn’t know if she was truly praising her or it was her intention to make everything awkward.

“That’s a waste.” The other lady glanced at her and whispered. "You should’ve started a family when you were young. Now you’ve lost the chance! To conceive a child is the best thing that could happen to a woman.”

Carman felt a twinge but she tried her best to smile at the lady who said that. Pregnancy is still a sensitive topic for her and when it comes to marriage – marriage is for those who have found the right person… but it’s not like she never dreamed of a family of her own.

Long ago, she did. And she almost have it.

She sighed and glanced at the edge of the table but she immediately averted her gaze when the man caught her staring.

\---

Xiao Zhan had to grip tightly on the hem of Yibo’s leather jacket. The younger insisted on taking him home and he just went with it, he thought it’d be a good bonding. He isn’t really a fan of motorcycle and he rarely rides one so he’s trying to be more careful.

“You can hold me by the waist you know?”

His face got a lot hotter with Yibo’s words. He thought it over. He should act normal, right? As if holding his waists isn’t a big deal. So, Xiao Zhan sighed and snaked his hands around Yibo’s waists with the thought like _‘he’s my boyfriend, that’s fine_ ’ – but thinking of that makes him more flustered.

Because he’s embracing him, Xiao Zhan could smell the perfume Yibo was using. It smells of sandalwood and…

‘ _And gremlin! So, now you could shut your nose Xiao Zhan! Stop thinking of scents! You’re being a creep!’_ His mind mocked.

He thought that maybe he should carry out a conversation to stop the train of weird thoughts that are playing inside his head.

“Honestly, before you showed up, I was about to call Manager to ask for your home address.” He started.

“Why?” 

He swallowed, daring himself not to stutter. “I wanna cook you dinner.”

Yibo’s eyes widened. He tightened his hold around the throttle grip, as for a moment, he lost focus on the road. 

“Wh-Why would you do that?”

“Boyfriends do that.”

Yibo didn’t bother to reply. It’s not like he didn’t want to… it’s just that he didn’t know what to say. But without warning, he turned to another direction.

“Uh… That’s not the way to my house.” Xiao Zhan stared at the side of Yibo’s face. “Where are we going?”

“Cook me dinner, Zhan-ge.”

\---

“M-Mom… Dad..?”

Yibo stiffened when he opened the door to his high-end condo unit and what greet him was his mom and dad. They didn’t say they’ll visit him. He slowly looked at Xiao Zhan, the latter’s eyes were as big as his.

“U-Uh…” The older squirmed, he glanced at his parents then back to him, then back to his parents again. “Mm… G-Good evening Mr. Wang, Mrs. Wang.”

“Ow… So it was really true.” Yibo’s mom looks dumbfounded, her index finger, resting on her chin as if she’s in deep thoughts.

“Yibo.” His dad approached him and held him by the collar. “Are you two living together?”

“Eh?!” 

Yibo and Xiao Zhan eyed each other, they were speechless as well.

“You should’ve told us! Why didn’t you even say that you’re moving in with a boyfriend?!” His dad’s tone was demanding.

His mother pushed away his dad, but held him by the collar as well. “You’re still a baby! Dating is fine but this? Living together?” She shake Yibo’s shoulders.

Xiao Zhan couldn’t do anything to help him as he doesn’t know how to handle this situation as well.

“How can you live together when you never even introduced him to us?! What kind of son are you?!”

“M-Mom! Mom!” Yibo finally found his voice. He moved away from his mother and raised his hands as if telling them to stop talking for a moment. “We’re not living together!” He whined.

“You’re not?” His father put hands over the waists. “Why didn’t you say so?”

“How can I, when you already concluded and didn’t even let us talk?”

Xiao Zhan finally sighed in relief once the faces of Yibo’s parents brightened. But when they heard him sigh, all their attention turned to him.

“A-Ah..” He shyly rubbed his nape and smiled.

“How are you doing, Mr. Wang? Mrs. Wang?”  
But instead of answering, Yibo’s parents started walking around him in circle, as if scrutinizing him.

“Mom, Dad! Please don’t be like this.” Yibo rubbed his forehead, embarrassed.

“Ah, you do look good even in person.” Mrs. Wang said. “And as I’ve read the fan posts, there are too many good things they say about you.”

Xiao Zhan felt his palm started sweating. He’s secretly thanking the heavens for the fan posts, he must at least appear to be a decent celebrity in front of Yibo’s parents.

“Th-Thank you… Ma’am.” He managed to say, he even doubted if his reply was okay.

“Really guys, stop it.” Yibo pulled his parents by their wrists and pouted. “You’re scaring him. He’s here because he wanna cook dinner for me."

Xiao Zhan wanted to giggle as he watch Yibo’s cutesy act towards his parents but he couldn’t because damn—he’s still nervous about this whole situation.

“Cook you dinner?” Mr. Wang repeated then eyed him. “But aren’t you busy?”

Xiao Zhan clenched his fists, trying to remain calm. “I-I’m booked out for today, Sir so… I thought that maybe we could… eat together.” Well that’s an honest answer.

Mr. Wang nodded as if pondering his response while Mrs. Wang laughed after a while. 

“Ah you are caring! I think we will get along well.” Then she yanked him and started guiding him to the kitchen. “I think I should help you with the cooking. What are you gonna cook? Are you gonna sleep over?”

Yibo’s mother talk and talk, Xiao Zhan was thankful they seemed okay with the relationship. However, at the back of his mind he started thinking about his own father.

 _Would he be okay with this?_ He hasn’t talk with him about this thing yet. Sure he messages him sometimes but those messages were short and awkward. Starting from the day that he told his father that he’d pursue his dream, he became distant.

Xiao Zhan feared that his father wouldn’t accept this kind of relationship as well. He always wanted a grandchild. So, if someday he asked, he knows he’d have to say that this is just temporary, that this is just what their companies wanted.

“Ah! And don’t be too stiff the next time. I know our Yibo calls you Zhan-ge without showing too much affection but don’t be like that kid! From now on, call me A Yi.” She gestured himself. “And call his dad, Shu shu.”

He felt his heart somehow jumped. “Alright, A Yi.” He chimed and slightly bowed.

Yibo’s mom patted his head. “That’s better.”

  
Xiao Zhan wanted to thank the heavens for this wonderful day. He didn’t expect to meet Yibo's parents too soon into the relationship but it was a good experience.

He helped prepare the food while Yibo’s mom talked about the younger, how Yibo was too brave to enter the entertainment industry in a young age; how he had to deal with criticisms and controlling fans; how it hurt them whenever they read hate posts about their son. Her eyes shine when he talks about him.

On the other hand Yibo and his father talked on the living room for a while, he doesn’t even know what they were discussing about.

When dinner came, Xiao Zhan learned that he’s someone who jokes a lot.

Xiao Zhan missed his parents instantly. His mother succumbed to illness when he was eight, and so, it was that long since the last time he had a dinner with a whole family. His father jokes a lot too, but as he grew up, his father had a strong disagreement whenever he said he wanted to be a singer.

His father said only fools dream of becoming a celebrity. As being a celebrity equates to a not-so-ordinary life and he said that he’ll regret being one someday.

He was jealous of how supportive Yibo’s parents are… of how proud they are with their son.

“Now, we’re gonna cheer for two sons. How fortunate are we?” Yibo’s father even said.

He looks at him hopefully.

“You should tell us about your big events too, Zhan. If we’re not too busy, we go to Yibo’s guestings but if we can’t, we can only watch him on television. It’d be wonderful if we can support you too.”

Those words almost bring tears in his eyes. “Sure, Shu shu.” He beamed.

  
Xiao Zhan thought that Yibo should spend more time with his parents and that he also has a busy schedule tomorrow. So after dinner, even when Yibo insisted on sending him home, he called his driver and asked if he could pick him up.

They are currently on the veranda, waiting for his driver’s call while Yibo’s parents are watching television in the living area.

“So will he pick you up?” 

“Yeah.” Xiao Zhan stretched his arms and sniffed the cold breeze of air. “I assume they do not know the whole story of our relationship?” He gestured at the living room.

Yibo shrugs “If they know the whole story, they will worry about me too much… and they’ll be disappointed with me too.”

Xiao Zhan glanced at the younger, feeling a little bit of guilt. Yibo’s parents thought their son is happy with this set up, that they are truly in love. After meeting them, Xiao Zhan doesn’t want to disappoint them as well. They are too supportive.

“Ah Yibo I almost forgot.” He started, wanting to change the topic that makes his conscience hurt. “We’re now like this, let’s have a pledge.”

“Huh?”

“That for as long as we are boyfriends, we’ll be loyal to each other, and that we will never look at anyone else.” Xiao Zhan raised his pinky finger, eyes hopeful. “I’m willing to focus solely on Wang Yibo. So will you promise me the same thing?”

Yibo was left in a daze as he looks at the older, he was beaming at him like the moon.

 _Fuck_. He thought. _Is he serious?_

Xiao Zhan pouted when he remained quiet. “Don’t you want that?”

Yibo sighed and put down his pinky finger. “I’m not a fan of pinky promises.”

Xiao Zhan sagged his shoulders, he thought his idea will get rejected but then, Yibo inched closer to him and swept away the hair that’s sticking on his forehead.

The action gave him goosebumps. That gesture was familiar! Will he do it again? Xiao Zhan silently anticipated for it yet—

“Oww! Yibo! What is that for?”

To his disappointment, rather than Yibo’s lips, he was harshly poked on the forehead instead.

Yibo laughed like he was bullying a kid. Xiao Zhan wanted to protest again but as he saw Yibo laughing, he didn’t bother saying anything else. How he wish he could see more of that laugh… hopefully he will, they are boyfriends after all.

 _Boyfriends_. Xiao Zhan felt a sense of happiness embracing his heart… and when he was suddenly pulled by the chin and a soft pair of lips touched his forehead – it felt like his heart went up to his throat as a cyclone of butterflies surged through his belly.

“I’m willing to focus solely on Zhan-ge, that’s a promise.”


	4. Special Someone

When Yibo said he’d focus solely on him, he certainly wasn’t joking. He really went on and live by their label. 

Those things should be okay, but it was also dangerous. Whenever Yibo’s lips curl into the most adorable of all smiles; whenever his eyes twinkle in mischief; or just when his dark orbs stare at him – Xiao Zhan could hear the bell ringing inside his head as if warning him that this thing between them could end anytime and he shouldn’t be too carried away.

Xiao Zhan couldn’t understand his own self. He did thought that he should believe that he’s in love; and that he’d be loyal; and even in the comfort of his own personal space and within his close friends and personal life; even outside the entertainment industry, he’ll regard Wang Yibo as his boyfriend. 

If only he knew that he’s susceptible from Yibo’s charm, he should’ve been more cautious!

Now he’s starting to get affected but he can’t back out… and so, he just have to torture himself by basking in Yibo’s sweetness – in which he doesn’t even consider as suffering.

There was this one time when he was recording a new song and when he asked a staff for a bottled water, there was a commotion outside the studio – the production crew was squealing – and he found out why when the door to the live room swung open and what greeted him was Yibo.

The younger came without make up, the bags under his eyes were about the size of a thumb. In all honesty, he looked exhausted, as if just finished a long filming but those dark eye bags did nothing to conceal his beauty. Yibo was smiling with his eyes, handing him a bottled water. Turns out, he was there to visit him and the staffs urged that he give the water by himself.

And it didn’t end there, the record producer even suggested for Yibo to stay inside the live room to keep him inspired. As if those things weren’t enough to boost him up, when he couldn’t perfect one note, the producer even asked Yibo to hold his hand.

With that, whenever he listens to that song, it reminds him of Yibo, the glint in his eyes as he patiently watched him while recording, the playful smile that tugs his lips, the feeling of their intertwined hands.

Yibo makes his chest twitch; his heart do somersaults; and his stomach churn, but they were so comforting that it scares him.

  
Oh and one more thing, Yibo can drive him… jealous.

_“Zhan-ge~ I’m doing good but I can’t meet with you today. Sorry. We’re having a discussion about commercial filming. But if you’re not busy the next day, then you can visit me on set. I hope you’re also doing good. Talk to you later~”_

It was what Yibo’s message reads when he once checked on him. Tomorrow is his birthday, that’s why he was saying if he’s not busy then he can pay a visit. Xiao Zhan knew he should.

The commercial he was talking about is for a brand of toothpaste and he’ll film it with Kei… again! As in that Kei who said she’s closer to Yibo than he ever thinks.

Xiao Zhan’s face turned sour. 

He completely understand that it was for work but he knows that before they agreed to date, Yibo likes someone genuinely, he’s afraid that it must be her all along. It was a paranoid thought but it was also possible. They’ve known each other for years! Not only the two are label mates, Yibo and Kei have had works together in the past as well. They were even linked and rumored. 

“Aiya! You are the boyfriend, you have all the rights to be jealous.” Ji Li said when he told his friends about it.

He scoffed at that. “I’m not jealous! I’m just annoyed.”

“I don’t think so!” Yubin at his side started poking his ribcage in which he tried to avoid. “Why would you be annoyed when you’re not jealous?”

He begrudgingly eyed him and slapped his hand away. “It’s for—It’s because he’s my boyfriend! There are still KY shippers who loom out there, she should be careful! I swear, when I visited Yibo on set once, she looked at me like a feral cat! What did I do with her? If she wants to flirt, then I don’t care, just don’t touch my boyfriend!”

“You sounded like a scorned wife.”

Xiao Zhan sneered at Zhuocheng. “Wife your butt. I just feel this way because I don’t want to deal with media’s stupid rumors. What if she was caught flirting with Yibo? It’s not good for our boyfriend image.”

“Now, you sounded like a jerk.” Zhuocheng glared at him. “If you like Yibo, you can be honest with us. Don’t reason out that you feel this way because of publicity.”

“But—” Xiao Zhan shuts his mouth, unable to ponder what to say.

“Ah just stop sulking!” Ji Li interrupted. “We need to get you back on track Xiao Zhan!” He started pulling onto his wrist. “Get your ass up, you need to show her who Yibo’s baobei is.”

Zhuocheng crossed his arms, his antagonist self showing through the crack on his lips that emit a wicked smile. “And what will that baobei do?” He gestured him. “Get Yibo a cake and post it on Weibo? To prove us a point that he’s doing this because they need the boyfriend image? Or will he host a party for Yibo’s birthday and invite the press for a live coverage?”

“That’s too much!” Xiao Zhan wanted to throw him an egg. 

“Ah these kids! That’s enough!” Yubin walked in between them. “A-Cheng is just annoyed that you’re still trying to hide your crush on Yibo from us – of all people!”

Xiao Zhan mumbled incoherent words before he finally gave up. “Fine!” He raised his hands as if surrendering. “I don’t know why but… I don’t want Kei around him.”

With his answer, the three started laughing annoyingly. They look at him as if he’s a huge dumbass.

“Psh! I know it sounds so—rude but… but I’m being honest. I think I’m jealous.” He said the last one in a very low voice.

“Aiya! Xiao Zhan, maybe you’re already crushing on Yibo! Many love stories started with a mere crush. That’s a good start!” 

Xiao Zhan cringed with Ji Li’s words. Good start? He doesn’t even know if it was a good thing… or if this will have a good end.

He sighed. Under the circumstances that they’re in – having this kind of infatuation is completely normal. He shouldn’t worry, as love and infatuation are two different feelings.

He should be happy that he’s lying less, the fact that he’s crushing on Yibo makes their relationship more genuine and it’s another reason to feel less guilty.

“Now off you go!” Ji Li pushed his back, ushering him to the kitchen. “Baker Zhan Zhan is back.”

His friends are right, he shouldn’t fall short with his role. He should also do his best. Tomorrow is Yibo’s birthday and he’s preparing the most perfect cake for Bo~di.

  
“I wish it’s okay to visit him tomorrow.” Xiao Zhan fret while he was decorating the cake he made.

Carman giggled. She came here a while ago to check on her troublesome talent. 

“He’d better be thankful! My Zhan Zhan took his time and effort for this.”

Xiao Zhan noted that she looks more accepting with his dating decision these past few days.

“If he’s too busy, I can just leave this at the staffs and head home anyway…”

“That would be sad!” Yubin contradicted, as he licked his finger that he dipped from the left over icing. “This is his first birthday with you, you should eat this cake with him!”

To Xiao Zhan’s horror, his friend even pointed the cake with his finger. 

“Yah!” He yelled, covering the cake. “Your saliva Binbin!”

“Nyenyeh~ you’re just afraid that if my saliva touches that cake, and Yibo got to eat it, he’d like me instead of you!”

“Where do you even get that idea?!” 

Yubin shrugged his shoulders. “I read it somewhere… from a love potion book, I guess. It said, saliva does work to tame someone.”

Xiao Zhan shook his head. Kind of grossed out. “Love potion book? Why would you read something like that?”

“Not everyone is as lucky as you Zhan. I just want to help Zhuocheng with his loveless life endeav—oww!” Before he could even finish his words, a spatula already hit him right square in the face.

“That’s what you get when you talk shit about me!” Zhuocheng shouted.

“What about me dear mother?” Ji Li chimes in, his hands clasped together against his chest. 

“You get a fcking egg on that turdy sad excuse of a face.” Zhuocheng smashed an egg onto his face and what followed was Ji Li’s loud whines and whimpers and Yubin on the corner, burst out laughing at the two, caressing his stomach.

Xiao Zhan doesn’t know if he should laugh or yell at them. They do look funny, but they disturbed his baking session! They only stopped hitting each other when Ji Li accidentally threw a flour on Manager Lee’s face.

“Aiya Manager!” Ji Li scratched his head and chuckled innocently. “That’s okay. You’re still pretty anyway… Uhh you’re even prettier than my sister.”

“You don’t have a sister.” Yubin reminded.

“Ah this kid!” Carman rolled her eyes. “Hanging out with the four of you would really make me age.”

“Even me?” Xiao Zhan gestured himself. “Unfair.”

“You only look innocent but you’re just another menace, Xiao Zhan.”

“Hmph!” He harrumphed and get back on his cake.

“This part right here doesn’t look right. What should we put in here?” Yubin pointed at one side.

He eyed it. It was indeed too plain and so, he started working on that part.

Carman’s eye brows flicked upon watching Xiao Zhan. “Why the small hearts?” She asked.

“Why not? Manager, we’re supposed to be dating.”

Her lips curved into a knowing smile.

Pretense could be the reflection of reality, he could see it in this young man’s eyes. She doesn’t approve of the company’s scheme in the first place. She was worried sick, even planned on the things she have to do just to protect Xiao Zhan from the hates but that wasn’t the case. The public supported them. Seeing Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan getting along so well is a relief.

If pretense is this sincere and genuine, Carman feels that there is a truth behind every lie

\---

“Ah that bitch. I hate her to death.” Kei cussed.

Xiao Zhan noticed that the staffs didn’t say anything as if her hatred for Jiaojiao isn’t a secret to them anymore. He’s here at the filming location of Yibo and Kei’s commercial. He’s trying to keep himself hidden as he eavesdrop at the two. They are sitting at one corner, taking a break from the filming while the director reviews the cuts.

“Why does she even act like she’s a big deal? I’m still her senior… and as far as I know, I’m even prettier than her!” Kei added.

Yibo rolled his eyes. “You always bicker with each other but I never thought you’d ever bring that to social media. Don’t you think it’s too childish? What would your fans even think?”

Yeah, Kei and Jiaojiao’s dispute made it to social media. Their fans’ war is even worse.

“Childish my ass.” Kei curled her hair using her fingers, like those mean girls you see on TV then she smiled lopsidedly at Yibo. “Anyway, Yibo, does it mean that you’re concerned about me?”

“I’m just advising you as a colleague.” Yibo replied. 

Before they agreed to date, Yibo did say that he likes someone, at first he had suspicions it was Kei but now? Nah. He doesn’t look interested with her and Xiao Zhan silently celebrated in his mind.

“Oh!” The girl giggled and tapped Yibo’s shoulders teasingly. “If you weren’t so cold we could’ve been more than just colleagues. I remember how our pairing was loved by many.”

His eyebrow raised to the roof. Can she still flirt like this once she realized that he – the boyfriend is watching?!

Kei’s manager stood up and grins as well. “Right, I still remember how there were rumors that you guys were dating. It’s a waste you didn’t take the friendship to the next level.”

“Yeah, I wonder about that too!”

Xiao Zhan wanted to meddle and get his possessive ass in the situation but since Wang Yibo is the best boyfriend one could ever have, of course he didn’t need to do that anymore.

“It’s because I wasn’t interested. Acting is acting, it does not mean I should date those who become my leading ladies.”

His ears almost clapped at Yibo’s reply. He wanted to laugh but he just managed to curve his lips in a smug grin before he finally approached them.

  
“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~” He sings as he saunters into the room, the birthday cake on hand. 

Everyone looks shocked with his arrival, some of the staffs even fished out for their phone to capture the moment.

Yibo was surprised as well but after a moment, he stood up and approached him, a gentle smile on his lips. Xiao Zhan celebrated when he saw that his boyfriend’s eyes were shining in delight. He likes this!

“Happy birthday, Wang Yibo~ Happy birthday Bo-di~”

When he finished the song everyone around them started chanting kiss much to his embarrassment. Of course they couldn’t do that. 

“That’s PDA!” Yibo shouted at them with a light chuckle.

“Okay, wish Bo-di.” He muttered.

Yibo nodded and gestured for his P.A. who walked through the crowd to get near them.

“Please hold the cake for a while, jiejie.”

Xiao Zhan handed her the cake but as soon as it left his grasps, Yibo’s hands immediately replaced the cake.

“Yibo—”

“Shh, Zhan-ge. I’m making a wish.” Yibo said with closed eyes.

He immediately shut up because of that.

Yibo’s eyes remained close, his lips remained tightly shut as he says the wish in his mind. 

Xiao Zhan wanted to know what it was. Did it includes him? There was a tinge of hope because if not, why would Yibo even hold his hands?

He smiled once the younger opened his eyes, was about to say something but the words were left unsaid.

*TUGDUG *TUGDUG 

Nevermind, it was just his heart. Why oh why? It was because when Yibo opened his eyes, he raised their hands that were entangled together and put a soft kiss over both of his knuckles. A kiss that sends shiver down his spine.

“Thank you Zhan-ge.” Yibo’s words were gentle and his smile was even more tender. It was reassuring although Xiao Zhan didn’t know what he was assuring him.

Right there and then, he thought it was the best time to faint.

  
He did not faint. And Xiao Zhan was thankful he did not or else, he won’t be able to witness Kei’s advances towards his Yibo.

His thought earlier was answered. Indeed, Kei could still trifle even with him around. Like right now, while they were getting retouched, she keeps on giggling and slapping Yibo’s arm. Then she will say something so blatant and outrageous every now and then. 

When Yibo went for the dressing room, she even approached the director and suggested that they should have a chaste kiss while the camera fades. He doesn’t know if she’s just trying to get on his nerves or what.

Xiao Zhan thanked that the director thinks a kiss was too excessive or he might not stop himself from flipping on set.

“Ah if you say so, director~” Kei giggled. “But the suggestion still stands, it’s not like it’s a big deal. We had kissed once for a movie anyway.”

Xiao Zhan almost choked on the cake he was eating. He knew what he baked was sweet but even the cake tasted bitter because of what he heard. He couldn’t stop from clearing his throat, let everyone be reminded that he’s here!

Kei just smiled sheepishly at him though and Xiao Zhan paid her back with a sweet venomous smile. He’s barricading what is his.

Xiao Zhan pursed his lip once Yibo showed up at his side.

“Does that kid like you?”

“Kid? Who’s kid?”

Xiao Zhan gestured Kei with his mouth. 

To his annoyance, Yibo just laughed. “Ge, she’s 23 already. Ah right, I almost forgot, you’re turning 28 this year.”

“Ah, shut it.” Xiao Zhan frowned. He’s almost 30 and he worries that everyone around him will start pressuring him to settle down.

And why are they talking about his age? They should be talking about Kei’s misbehavior!

He shove Yibo’s hands away when the younger started poking at his cheek, teasing him.

“Really, Bo-di, stop that!”

“Ah Zhan-ge, don’t be like this! It’s just a commercial.”

Of course, he knows it’s just a job. He understand that in their line of work, being that close with other people is a requirement – either for a role or for a photoshoot. Xiao Zhan can live with that. What annoys him is that even off cam, Kei sticks her hands on Yibo as if she’s clinging for dear life.

“If someone takes a video of her shamelessly flirting with you behind the scenes and post it on the internet, countless rumors may emerge. It’s hard to control things if the media gets involved. We need to take care of both our image.”

He reasoned out. Well, in this relationship, that’s what he can hold onto the most – their image. But in reality, he’s just really annoyed with how that Kei acts. He’s even annoyed with himself having been triggered so easily like this. He felt like he’s being unreasonable for Kei is younger than him and on top of that – she’s a girl… it’s very ungentlemanly.

Yibo looks as if he was taken aback with his answer but it was only for a moment. After a second, he forced a smile.

“Don’t worry about that.” The younger assured. “We worked with most of these staffs in the past and they know how Kei is. They won’t care too much with her advan—"

“But I do!” Xiao Zhan argued without thinking but immediately covered his mouth after. “I mean—that…”

Yibo burst out laughing with his stupidity and softly patted his head as if he’s a dog that needed comforting.

“Zhan-ge, I did try avoiding her but since you’re being like this, I promise, I’ll dodge every attempt of her to come in contact with me when we’re off cam.”

Xiao Zhan pouted. He doesn’t even know why this kid spoils him like this when it’s him who should look after Yibo who’s six years younger than him.

“Don’t sulk anymore, after all you’re the one I’d be inviting in ARRC, not her.”

 _ARRC?_ Xiao Zhan widened his eyes. Since 2 years ago, Yibo has been participating in that event. It’s so important for him and he always prepare too much for it. 

“So, you want me to watch you race?” He asked, unable to mask his excitement.

“Mn.”

Xiao Zhan smiled at this. Racing is outside Yibo’s acting career but he’s still willing to take him there.

“I only bring my parents but whenever they can’t attend – no one’s there to cheer for me. My teammates always bring their special someone… Now I’m happy that I have someone to bring.”

Xiao Zhan felt something fluttered inside of him. Special someone. **He’s Wang Yibo’s special someone**. He doesn’t know what came into him but without warning, he yanked Yibo by the wrist and encircled his arms around his waist.

“Zhan-ge…” Yibo gasped, surprised by his sudden action but he didn’t move away. 

He leaned his chin over Yibo’s tummy, lifting his head to smile at the younger.

“I’ll bring good luck so do your best, alright?”


	5. Ditch The Set, Date The Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still all fluff. Does the story moves too slow? Is it becoming uninteresting? Sorry if the actions take too long. We’ll get into the thorny and problematic parts after some time but for now, I have a hard time putting out the scenes, because my writing is a mess and so I’m still trying to figure out what scene will be published and in which chapter.  
> Sometimes I feel like I often change things without further thought on how it will affect the flow of the story in the future. That maybe is the reason why it’s hard for me to give an update.

“I said cancel the tea, I want coffee! Are you an idiot?!” 

Xiao Zhan flinched upon hearing Hao Xuan’s whine. They are currently filming a new movie – he got the supporting role and that brat takes the lead role. They are having a break and Xiao Zhan was about to take a nap but that kid keeps nagging on his assistant since this morning and he didn’t even consider toning down his voice.

“I’m sorry Hao—Wang Xiansheng.” The guy’s assistant bowed.

“And you think a sorry can do anything?”

“Hey!” He glanced at the kid. “Can you lower down your voice, Hao Xuan? You’re being too loud, I need my nap!”

“Hmph!”

Hao Xuan just harrumphed and walked out of the room, his personal assistant, Jiyang tailing behind.

Xiao Zhan shook his head, closed his eyes and thankful that he can finally get his nap—

—But as soon as he was dozing off, his phone started ringing. He jolts up in excitement and checked it immediately in hopes that it was from Yibo.

But no, the message was from Meika, asking where he was?

Xiao Zhan was dispirited. He last saw Yibo a week ago, during his birthday. These past few days, both of them were too busy to meet. Him with the filming, Yibo on preparing for the game. They do message each other but they were all short, hurried. 

“What’s up, Meimei.” He greeted when his P.A. entered the dressing room and slouched on the couch next to him, busy with her phone.

“I’m good, you look tired.” 

Xiao Zhan nodded. He really is tired.

“I know a way to get you all boost up.” 

“…How?” 

Meika smiled playfully. “The fans are digging further information about Yibo and you since it’s been a week and you haven’t given them any content yet.”

“Oh?” Xiao Zhan rose up and peeked over Meika’s shoulder. “May I see?”

The girl moved the phone closer to his line of vision. “They made a compilation of the two of you together before you guys date.”

Is there even a compilation-worthy of their moments before? He looked back at the phone.

There were some photos of him and Yibo during I-Fire, photos of them at the behind the scenes of their first movie together, photos of them in the same events and award shows. 

But all those pictures were them far away from each other. There wasn’t any trace or hint that they’ll be dating in the future. He suddenly wonder why the fans weren’t seem suspicious of their relationship when they never even appeared close at all – and the news from both their agencies said that by the time they were confirmed, they were dating for months already!

Xiao Zhan suddenly felt a bubble of sadness formed within him. It was heavy, like it will burst anytime but Meika smiled at him and asked, “You didn’t notice anything?”

“Notice what?” He asked cluelessly.

“Ah Zhaaan!” She nags and shoved the phone onto his face, scrolling the photos as she said, “Most of the photos were Wang Yibo looking at you, Xiao Zhan! You!”

“Me?” He muttered and eyes fell on the phone again. This time, his gaze wasn’t faltering. Indeed, in most of them, Yibo looks at him, his eyes, heavy yet soft.

 _Coincidence?_ Xiao Zhan nodded because what else could it be? Being noticed by Yibo that early will be too much of a miracle he won’t even dare dreaming.

“Ah, that’s nothing. Must be a coincidence.

Meika shrugged her shoulders. “If you say so~”

\--

Xiao Zhan did say it was a coincidence but his mind can’t help but linger on those photos. So, once he was having a break, he went online to search for the pictures again – he kept it as a secret from Meika though – just to have a good look for the second time.

But his second look made him more confused. It made his heart confused. He do not want to hope but Xiao Zhan isn’t stupid to know that it’s what exactly he’s doing right now. When you like someone, even with how impossible things can be, the hope will always be there.

He misses Yibo more than ever. He even suspect that just one message from the younger will make him ditch his prior commitments. 

He’s been working his derriere off just to do his best in every work he committed himself into. He’s a celebrity alright, but he’s also a young man in a healthy relationship, of course he would want to see his ~~beloved~~ Bo~di every now and then.

His temptation came not long after. That afternoon, he received a text from Yibo.

_“Zhan~ge, I got first in the group qualifying rounds today. Are you free? I wanna see you.”_

His Wang Yibo wants to see him.

With that, he was ready to pack up and ditch the set.  
  
_“I’m free, where should we meet?”_

In his mind he was thinking things like – Maybe they’d film another scenes without him for today? Maybe he can lie and say he wanted to take a break for this day because he’s too exhausted – which was true – since last week, he’s been sleeping less than 5 hours every night and he only get to nap between break times. Then there are also times he will be pulled out on set just to be in other shows his management signed him up for. Maybe it’s okay to pamper himself today.

With his conscience tolerating him, Xiao Zhan walked up to the director and lied about wanting to rest at home for this day. Fortunately (or unfortunately, because he felt guilty) the director was too nice to even turn his request down.

\---

Aside from its field of Orchids that differ in colors, Orchid Garden is also well-known for having an aesthetically pleasing appearance. Some tourists even described it as a ‘hidden treasure’ among the countryside of Beijing and was said to look like an eternal garden from an immortal realm.

There was also the Cold Spring that was said to have the ability to replenish one’s energy and calm one’s mind. Apart from this are the dens and cottages scattered throughout the whole area that serve as the resting place for visitors.

In one of these dens, Wang Yibo patiently waited for Xiao Zhan. Above its entrance was a written – Gentian House. No one else was inside the said lair, which didn’t come as a wonder since today is a weekday resulting in less visitors as most people are either in school or at work. This is also the reason why visitors of this day are mostly senior citizens.

With only aged people around, Yibo and Xiao Zhan trust that no one will make a fuss about them.

This excites Xiao Zhan. He’ll be having a date with Yibo out in the public, without too much risk. And in such a romantic place on top of that!

  
“I really wish you were there!” Yibo said in excitement as they stroll around the field of Orchids, ice cream in hand. The younger keeps on telling tales on how his practice went by.

Xiao Zhan who doesn’t know a thing or two about racing tried his best to fare as he watch his Bo-di with a fond smile and adoring eyes. They way Yibo talks about racing makes him want to gush. He looks like a child in Christmas Eve, telling his parents how many candies he was able to gather throughout the day.

“I also wish I was there. I’m sure you were a sight to behold." He said truthfully. It will be wonderful if they can take a time out for special occasions, if only their schedule wasn’t full. Maybe if they were non-celeb boyfriends, they’d have more time with each other. 

But with that thought, Xiao Zhan sighed. If they are non-celebs then they’ll never be boyfriends at all. No matter what they say, it stood as a fact that they started dating because of the scandal.

“Don’t worry Bo-di, I’ll be there in the actual race.” He assured before licking his melting ice cream. 

Yibo beamed. “Good to hear you’re not busy that day.”

“Just trying my best to make time for Bo-di~” He laughed, his boyfriend did the same.

The truth is, he pushed some schedule a bit later while the others, he hogged them and do as much as he can just to be free on the actual race. It will be several days from now.

“How about Shushu and A Yi? Are they gonna come as well?” The thought of seeing Yibo’s parents again makes him happy. Must be because he misses his own ones.

“Ah, they are very sorry about that.” His boyfriend sighed. “But that’s fine, I know they pray I win anyway.” Then a chuckle and Yibo glanced at him. “So this means, Zhan-ge, you’d be my major source of good luck during the race. You should wear that bunny smile to calm my nerves!”

“Yah!” He scowled. “What bunny? Are you making fun of my buck teeth?!” He hoisted the ice cream as if threatening. “You want this on your face!”

“HAHAHAHA calm down!” Yibo raised his arms, surrendering. “Calm down, Zhan-ge! I was just about to say they’re cute.”

“Of course they are!”

“You know what’s even cuter?”

Xiao Zhan swallowed, tried to hide his blush. “No other than me.” He replied.

“Wrong!” Yibo cackled, obviously he’s bullshitting him. “The only thing cuter than your bunny smile is when you have—” 

“Heyyy!”

“—When you have an ice cream on your nose.”

He quickly ran away from Yibo when said guy smudged the ice cream onto his nose. He only got a little whip but it will make his face sticky!

“Don’t you ever play with foods, you ingrate!” Xiao Zhan shouted but he only got a boisterous laugh as a reply before Yibo chased him, the little menace threatening to smear him again.

Xiao Zhan has had enough. He will not lose to that gremlin! And so, he also run to the other’s direction, a wide grin on his face. 

Not long after, during the sunset, there are two guys, running through the fields of Orchid, ice cream in their hands while laughing like stupid idiots.

Some old people looked scandalized seeing them, others don’t care while there are those who watch them with adoring eyes.

  
They only stopped chasing each other when they are already panting hard. With this, they settled in a bench, engrossed with the view in front of them.

The light and dark were painted on the horizon, clouds appeared purplish orange and a streak of sunlight leaves an array of colors scattered throughout the sky. It was refined. Beautiful. Though, left unsaid, it matches their feelings inside.

Xiao Zhan glanced at the guy beside him. The reflection of the settling sun do wonders to his features. He knew long before that Wang-Laoshi is stunning yet he never let those things linger in his mind before. 

“Bo-di…” Xiao Zhan called a bit hesitant. He wanna show him the photos of them compiled by fans before they dated. 

“Yes, Zhan-ge?”

But then he realized, what’s the point? “Ah nothing.” He rubbed his nape and darted his eyes back to the ground. “Just… Nothing.”

Yibo pouted, he could see it on his peripheral vision. “You can’t offer me food and take it back as I was just about to chew it.

Xiao Zhan pursed his lips. “F-Fine. Just that, it’s actually nothing. I just came across pictures of us before we dated and—and I just thought I’d show it but then maybe you don’t want to. It’s not that important anyway.”

Yibo shook a head. “Even so, let me see.” He stretched out his arm, asking to be handed whatever it was.

Xiao Zhan browsed through his phone and gave it to Yibo after a while.

The truth is, Xiao Zhan wanted to show him just to try if Yibo would also notice that he stares at him in most of the pictures with a hope that he’d comment about it. He doesn’t know why he’s expecting… and doesn’t even know what was he expecting. 

  
“This is the time I lost the show.” Xiao Zhan pointed the last photo. It wasn’t focus on either of them but they can be seen in the background, he was teary-eyed and on the way to the backstage, Yibo’s eyes were on him.

“Ah I remember it. I even ran… after… you.” Yibo’s words gradually slowed down but Xiao Zhan was surprised on the information to even notice.

“Y-You ran after me?”

“Uh… I followed you.”

Xiao Zhan tilted his head, but his gaze towards the other is unwavering. “Why?”

Yibo’s eye brows flinched, opened his mouth to speak just to close it again. It appears he couldn’t fathom what to say.

“B-Because I often see you.” Yibo replied, was fast to look away. “You said you’re insecure with your age, and you easily gets hurt with other’s criticism. Celebrities like that are the ones who get easily affected by hates. It was dangerous, it often leads to depression.” He frowned for a moment. “I think, in a way—there was this point in time when…”

Xiao Zhan noticed that the words he was about to utter seems hard for him to say.

“There was this point in time when I thought that… I should look after you.”

_Look after who?_

**Look after him.** Yibo did look a bit shy but those words were said in a casual voice, in a casual tone. It was all casual but it left an impact on him. 

Two years ago, when he thought of Yibo as the standard, when he perceived him as untouchable, all along, Yibo was thinking that he should look after him. 

Why? How? Those times, they never had anything between each other, never talked, only met eyes. How did he deserve such attention too early into his endeavor as an artist? He doesn’t know. But all Xiao Zhan knew is right now, his heart feels full as if just one more prick and it will burst. Just one more word and he’d fall… 

The scary feeling came back. The feeling of uncertainty; the feeling that he’d fall deep into a hole if he won’t be able to control himself.

The feeling of comfort—too much comfort that it made him uneasy.

However, the wonderment Xiao Zhan felt within his chest came to an end – which he’s thankful of because he might do stupid things if he dwells on it any longer – when Yibo’s phone started ringing.

Although now that Yibo’s face twitched in some unreadable lines, he didn’t know whether he should still be thankful or not.

  
“Manager Zhao?”

“Yibo, are you in the Orchid Garden?”

Yibo frowned. “Yes… How did you know?”

“Someone spotted you buying an ice cream and posted your location on social media. You might get flocked, get out of there quickly.”

“Spotted me?” He roamed his eyes around the place. 

No one seems to pay them too much attention. But for better measures, they still wrapped themselves with their scarves. Unfortunately, someone still spotted him—

“Did they see Xiao Zhan?” He asked after a while.

“Shit! He’s with you?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think so, the person only said she saw you. Quick. Go.”

Xiao Zhan who heard this gets worried. If they were to be seen today, someone from the production crew will find out about it… and he’d be busted. The director will know that he lied about wanting to rest.

Yibo’s driver also messaged that there’s already a number of people gathered at the entrance of Orchid Garden. Some even went at the back passage if ever Yibo decided to take that path. He feels like they are ganging up against him.

He already told his driver to park at the back.

“Damn.” Xiao Zhan cussed after a while. “If we will be seen, the director will know that I lied.”

“Huh?”

Xiao Zhan eyed Yibo apologetically. “I lied about resting at home just to ditch the set.”

“I thought you were free?”

He bit his lip. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just that—”

Yibo sighed. “Just don’t do it again. You’d get reprimanded and…” He looked around. They should hurry up. “You can’t be seen. You must take the back route, only few fans were on the back, it’s easier to sneak out of there.”

“We’ll split up?” He asked in disbelief.

“Manager Zhao said that no one have seen you yet but they are already expecting me here.”

Xiao Zhan eagerly shook his head. “Can we just get out together by the back passage? I’m scared. You might get flocked.”

Yibo is an idol – and the one who was said to have one of the most sisheng fans. There was this time when Yibo was mobbed in an airport. There was also a rumor that he almost got kidnapped once for mistaking a van full of his stalkers as the take-home vehicle of their company.

The aggressiveness of his fans appeared to alleviate as time passed by but of course – they can never be too sure. A celebrity as famous as him can be mobbed anytime.

“There are securities, do not worry.” Yibo assured. “You need to get out fast. Just get inside the car quickly. I’ll be there in no time.”

“But—”

“You can’t be seen with me Zhan-ge. You just ditched the filming set. The director will get furious if he finds out that you lied.”

Xiao Zhan wanted to say ‘no’ but Yibo insisted.

“Just do it.”

Xiao Zhan begrudgingly nodded and started walking. He remained low key and no one seemed to notice him. He passed by the back gates without getting attention and hurriedly went inside the car.

“Where’s Yibo?” The driver asked, he looks a little in panic.

“He’s at the front, Ge. We need to drive the car there.”  
  
The driver nodded. Thankfully it’s getting dark and the car windows aren’t lightly tinted. The fans won’t see him inside. But his relief was just short-lived when they get to the front and saw how uncontrollable the crowd was! There may be at least thirty of them, some of these fans are even wearing high school uniforms. Others brought large cameras, situated themselves at the front, pushing each other to take a good picture.

The fans were loud, the securities are trying to hush them down but there are only two of them as of now.

“Wait—I need to—” He was about to open the door when the driver speaks.

“Sir, if you show up, it will become worse.”

“But Yibo is—"

“The securities are doing their best. I can’t let you go there. You’d get flocked as well. Just wait here, sir. I’ll get him.” The driver went out of the car and ran to the crowd but even him can’t get pass through!

Xiao Zhan gets jittery by watching the chaos. He thought they will have a peaceful date yet only a few hours together, and they needed to get out of this place already.

In his mind, he was busy nagging and whining about how they could have spend a longer time with each other when he witnessed someone pulled Yibo too hard, he had fallen to the ground. With this, he couldn’t stop himself anymore, he went out of the car and run to them as fast as he could.

Forget the director, forget his lies, forget the crowd that could harass him too. Xiao Zhan must attend to Yibo immediately.

“Yibooo!” He called as he tried his best to push through the crowd to get to the middle. 

People around gasped and started whispering when he appeared out of nowhere, his scarf no longer covering his face but he ignored it. 

“Bo-di.” He knelt and patted the younger’s cheek. “Bo-di, can you hear me?”

Yibo’s lashes fluttered. “Zhan-ge?”

He nodded frantically, he examined the younger and his blood boiled upon seeing the scratches on his arm.

“We’ll get you out of here. Can you stand?”

“I can try.”

Thankfully, before another accident happen, more securities arrived to control the situation.

“Ready.” He put Yibo’s arm over his shoulders and carefully placed an arm around his waist, to support him as he tries to stand up. Yibo’s driver was behind them, his arms on both of their shoulder as if he’s ready to shield them from the crowd.

Yibo winced in pain and it added to his worry but the younger shook off his head.

Suddenly the bright flashes of cameras irritated him, the fans’ shouts were torture to his ears. Yibo got hurt, can they at least stop the commotion?

Securities started pushing through the crowd to make way for them but the place is still a mess.

“Please stop it. He’s hurt.” But his request did close to nothing to stop the fuss. Xiao Zhan felt dizzy, sick to the stomach. He felt the anger inside him grows.

“I said stop it!” He shouted, finally out of control. “Can’t you see that he’s hurt?!” Some of them backed away with his sudden outrage, after all it’s not common to see the timid Xiao Zhan shout at fans like this.

With them backing away, it became easier for the securities to control the situation. The crowd was now divided into two, with him and Yibo walking on the center. Finally, they gave them some personal space but Xiao Zhan isn’t finish with his naggings yet.

“Have you had enough? Take photos? Ask more questions?” He started once again. “Can’t you see that Yibo is in pain and he does not enjoy getting mobbed? Look at his arm! What is he? A scratching post?”

“Yah Xiao Zhan!” One fan was brave enough to call him out. She looks sophisticated, the kind of woman who looks like she can buy whatever she wants. “Who are you to lecture us? Aren’t you being too entitled? You’ve only been together for four months! I’ve been his fan for years! I spent too much just to follow him around. While you were busy with your own career, I was busy with him! We are busy with him!”

Some fans agreed to what she said. Xiao Zhan assumes that this girl is one of Yibo’s sisheng fans and those who agreed don’t differ. Those who think they own their idols – they are not fans for they think of the artists as properties, properties they bought with their money.

“Aren’t you the one who’s being entitled?” He asked back. “You must have invested money and time but it doesn’t mean you are entitled to an ownership. Yibo has no leash. He doesn’t deserve to be treated as someone’s pet nor someone’s belonging.”

Xiao Zhan looks back at Yibo who’s staring at him with wonders written in his eyes. 

He gave him a small smile, nudging his chin dotingly. “I’m sorry for the outburst but Bo-di needs to get out of here quickly.” Then he eyed back the crowd as if he wasn’t quarreling with them just a moment ago. “Please, everyone of you should head safely home, it’s getting pretty dark, your families will be worried.” He bowed sincerely before taking Yibo’s wrist and leading the way.

\---

“Mobbed?”

“Yes sir. Thankfully, none of them was badly hurt. Although Wang Yibo was pushed to the ground.”

“Is he so weak like that?” Louis heaved a sigh. “Anyway, if there’s no serious physical injury then we can’t sue.”

“Yes, Mr. Koo but… I think CEO He has something to do with this. He asked me earlier where Yibo and Zhan had gone. He said he needed a news. I was thinking maybe he sent the paparazzi himself… and maybe even some of those aggressive fans there weren’t really fans.”

“It’s all his doing?” Louis frowned. “What is that bastard thinking? Isn’t he becoming too needy of controversy? If he wanted his talent to be flocked, he should’ve sent securities around the area to ensure his safety.”

“Sir, I have a bad feeling about this. Don’t you feel it? Something seems odd. It’s as if he’s desperate to stir the media.”

Louis sighed. When he made a deal with He Peng, he disregarded rationality and just went with it. He didn’t even think about the risks. Now, he’s kind of regretting his choices. It does seem odd, He Peng seems too eager to center Yibo and Zhan into a controversy.

“Alright, but for now, give that idiot He Peng what he wants. Add fuel to the fire. If you have something to feed the fans, any information to draw them in, just post it.”

Louis knew he sounded nuts. He’d sue if Xiao Zhan was physically hurt but he’s also paying someone to spy on him and post things on SNS. His rationality had long been gone, the need for payback is too tempting to reject.

“Okay, sir.” Was the caller’s response. She sounded hesitant, sounded torn. But it was her job.

“Sir, you’ve been away for quite too long. The dinner has started.” His assistant approached him and whispered.

Louis nodded and get back to the caller. “Anyway, I have to go. We will talk later.”

After the call ended, he went inside the ballroom where Mr. Chan – founder of Shinjian Music – is hosting a party.

Louis never favored social gatherings, with all its grandness comes the hypocrisy. People act so cordial with each other yet behind their backs, they plan on beating everyone else. He can’t deny that it reflects on him too. He’s a businessman for a reason, of course, those who pose danger – he would want them to be eliminated. 

Unlike these socialites though, he isn’t one who fronts a smile to those he dislikes. He just talk to those who talk to him and never start a conversation. He smile when he was smiled at but he never shows the warmth first.

Being updated with the latest issues within their industry is a must, if only it wasn’t beneficial, he shouldn’t be here at this soiree, forcing himself to listen to other people’s bullshits. 

Example of these people is Yao Shu Hao, current CEO of Haiyan TV – the third biggest television network in their country. He shares a table with him. The said man wastes himself away with drinks. He was a mess, still has the guts to drink while mentioning names for a show. Louis looks at Yao Shu Hao disparagingly.

He mentioned a politician’s name just a while ago – Shen Xiao Hai – saying he was so favored by the man. And now, he also mentioned He Chunfeng – this is where he got interested.

He Chunfeng is the founding Chairman of Congming Entertainment, also the father of it’s current CEO – He Peng. He listens closely because it’s just a month ago since he made a deal with them and he needed to make sure that those two won’t cause him any harm.

“Ahh, someday, you fellows may get caught in an utterly bad situation but if you forge an alliance with me, of course I’d definitely have your back!” Yao Shu Hao boasted, not even an ounce of humility. “Chairman He has been very thankful, he often send gifts. Me and my guys are doing everything for him. It will not be long and the issue will very much dissolve.”

 _Issue?_ Louis glanced at the other people he’s sharing a table with. Some of them looked uncomfortable, eyeing Yao Shu Hao as if reminding him to shut the f*ck up. A man beside the smug idiot even nudged the clown slightly. 

Louis sighed. All these people on the table appears to know what was the ‘issue’ Yao Shu Hao was talking about. He certainly picked the right table. In no time, he must also know whatever issue that is because by the way they act, it doesn’t look too good.

\---

“Zhan-ge, you helped me up not because of publicity, right?” Yibo asked after they settled inside the car.

Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened and his lips formed into a pout. “Of course not! This boy!” He playfully ran a finger from the bridge of Yibo’s nose to the peak as if he’s babying a kid. “Am I not allowed to be worried?”

Yibo was taken aback with his actions. He tore his gaze away from him and eyed the window instead. He looks a bit… shy?

Xiao Zhan wanted to coo at how cute he was but his attention was caught by the wounds on his boyfriend’s arm. 

“Ah shit. I almost forgot!” He gasped and gently took Yibo’s arm, carefully placing it over his lap. Yibo glanced back to him, watching him as he examines the wound.

Xiao Zhan sighed in relief upon seeing it wasn’t too serious. “We just need to cover it.”

Yibo shook his head and smirk. “It’s nothing Zhan-ge.”

He scrunched his nose at the kid and eyed Yibo’s driver. “Ge, do you have a first aid kit?”

Yibo’s driver nodded and handed him the kit, eyes fixated on the road.

Xiao Zhan muttered a ‘thanks’ and started doing his job. He can be a cook, a baker, a bodyguard or a nurse. He can be everything Yibo needs. He should be everything Yibo needs. He smiled at the thought.

“Mpp…” Yibo flinched when he gently press the cotton on the wound

“When I was young, mom repeatedly told me not to use alcohol in fresh cuts. But since we don’t have a mild soap, cotton and salt water will make do.” He giggled, feeling a sudden courage to trifle around. “Do you know what else will make do?”

Yibo stares at him. “What?”

After Xiao Zhan was done cleaning the wounds. He beamed at Yibo. “This.” And placed a kiss over his wound. Just like what his mother used to do.

Yibo’s eyes widened, his stare became blank. Zhan was scared for a while. Has he overdone it?

He was about to retract and say it was just a joke but Yibo beat him from speaking.

“D-Did your mother also do that?”

Xiao Zhan chuckles. “Yes. She often teased me. I wish you’d be able to meet her… sadly that won’t be possible.”

“Why?”

Xiao Zhan smiled faintly, but it was a sad one. “She passed away when I was eight.” He sighed and carefully stroke Yibo’s arm. “I miss her. Before everyone else, she was the first one who believed in me. But at least she left me with her friend – Manager Carman.”

“Ah your parents are friends with Manager Lee?”

Xiao Zhan nodded. “Before all this, I last saw Manager when I was eight, then she left the country. But when she found out I signed under Lush Zeal, she hurried back and offered to manage me. It was out of the blue but I’m thankful. She’s like my second mom.”

Yibo did see how Manager Lee looks at Xiao Zhan dotingly as if she’s looking at her own son.

“And your dad?” He felt like he asked the wrong question when Xiao Zhan’s eyes became tender.

“Dad never liked me as a celebrity.” The older sighed. “When I was in I-Fire, he never even watched me live. Never even told me good luck. B-But that’s fine. We still talk anyway, it’s all short though… but not about my career, never about my career.”

Xiao Zhan felt something heavy within his chest but it was soothed when Yibo’s hand pulled his head and put it over his own shoulder. 

Xiao Zhan now leans onto the younger’s shoulder while Yibo’s cheek is on his head. He glanced at their reflection on the rear-view mirror and damn—they do look like a real couple. He wanted to enthuse about it.

“You can talk to me about your career, how your day went, who pissed you off at work… who’s the meanest celebrity you encountered. Actually, you can talk to me about anything. I will be happy to support you Zhan-ge.”

Yibo said it with closed eyes. Xiao Zhan didn’t say anything else. They both stayed silent but it was the comfortable one, not tensed, not awkward.

  
With what happened earlier – still leaning onto Yibo – Xiao Zhan checked on Weibo just to see that both of their solo fans have started a fan war against each other. It was a trending topic and on hot search too.

Some fans think he’s overstepping, others were hurt that Yibo didn’t do anything to stop his outrage that was directed to them, while there are also fans who expressed their admiration towards him, saying that what he did earlier was reasonable and they approve of him as Yibo’s boyfriend.

One comment though, caught his attention.

_“Do you know that Xiao Zhan has a filming? But he ditched it to have a date. How unprofessional, right? But oh well, love teach us many things—and it’s not always good. Anyway, from what I heard, the director just let it pass since this is the first time that he misbehaved on set. We have to give it to XZ tho – first time to misbehave on set, while there’s someone who often yells on set—oops, who was it anyway? But this is about XZ & YB so let’s not talk about other people.”_

It was true that he ditched the filming, it was also true that it’s an act of unprofessionalism but he didn’t know that the director already learned about it. Or this person’s just bluffing? Either way, he should apologize to the whole production crew tomorrow.

The last lines are also bugging him. _‘Someone who always yells on set’_ feels like Hao Xuan. If this person knows that, then this one’s there during the filming.

He clicked the username of the one who made the comment and it redirected to the person’s account. She’s being followed by thousands of people as she claimed to be an insider and people seem to believe her. If it was true… then who could it be?

However his thoughts were interrupted by the snuffling sound. He glanced at the snoring figure beside him. Yibo’s now asleep. He must be exhausted with his own appointments as well.

“Bo~di…” He lightly patted the younger’s cheek but the little one didn’t budge. Xiao Zhan watched him fondly, _“Too cute, my beibei~”_ Then he snaked his arms and wrapped them around Yibo’s back. His face buried against his chest.

He knew Yibo was asleep so it came as a surprise when a pair of limbs hugged him back and pressed him closer.

Xiao Zhan felt supported, felt secured, felt safe.

And knowing that there’s no fans around, no cameras, no production crew, no staffs nor co-workers – only Yibo’s driver – he felt happy. They don’t need to pretend, don’t need to look loving but still, they ended up like this, entangled in a cuddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read. Sorry if I don't usually reply (just one of my anxieties tbh) but I do appreciate the comments and kudos. Thank youuu~~


	6. Bo Jun Yi Xiao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ thank you for the support guys >.< I actually don’t know a thing about how Chinese media (and even the entertainment industry in general) works but as a Kpop fan for years, I somehow know how a fandom works 😂  
> Please don’t get sick of the story. I’ll try my best to keep it interesting. If you think it’s being long-winded, then please bear with me.

The Star Summit Summer Gala is just around the corner, an annual event hosted by Haiyan TV where active artists of the industry are invited for a performance. All proceeds of the said event are going to charities.

Star Summit Summer Gala (also called as TripleSG) is one of the biggest event this year. Soirees, parties and events like this calls for a massive preparation and a grand outfit. It’s where high-end fashion brands sponsor celebrities to promote their collections. Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan aren’t any exception. As they are the hottest couple of this year, a luxurious brand already expressed their interest in sponsoring their suits. 

So for today, Yibo and Xiao Zhan came together for an appointment with the tailor. Although they shouldn’t be seen together by the fans since it was just recently when Xiao Zhan argued with Yibo’s fans and their solo stans started a big social media fan war. Their agencies thought it would be best to cool down the fuss for now. 

But if someone’s gonna ask either of the two, they both think that it’s better to be seen together and show everyone that they are going strong as a couple. Their fans might try and unite in peace with that scenario.

  
“So, we have here Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan~” The designer gave them a sweet smile and patted both their shoulders. “I’ll attend to the both of you later, I’ll just need a moment with your managers.”

The two of them nodded and followed the designer’s assistant who guided them into another room.

To Xiao Zhan’s surprise, what greet them when they entered the room was Hao Xuan and Jiyang. The former being attended by one of the staffs.

Hearing there’s another people in the room, Jiyang turned to them and gleamed upon their sight.

“Xiao Xiansheng~” He called. “Wang Xiansheng.” He bowed at Yibo who bowed in return.

Xiao Zhan smiled at him. “Good to see you guys.”

Hao Xuan just hummed in reply before glaring at Jiyang. “Come here! It’ll be your turn in a moment!”

Xiao Zhan and Yibo gave each other a puzzled look when one of the staffs started taking Jiyang’s body measurement as well. 

“I need him in the event.” Hao Xuan said as if he knew what they are thinking. 

With this Xiao Zhan instantly felt sorry for Song Jiyang. He witnessed how often Hao Xuan humiliates the boy, he always scolds him, and cuss at him. In front of his P.A., Hao Xuan acts like a bossy brat yet in front of the fans, he can’t be more graceful. He might just boss him around during the gala and even mortify him in front of other celebrities.

“He has to look presentable, he’ll be walking the red carpet with me after all.” Hao Xuan added and Xiao Zhan almost drop his jaw.

People who are gonna perform as a group tend to walk together at the red carpet but if it’s a soloist then walking with someone means it was their date.

  
Carman’s gaze linger on the designer. “So, what are we going to talk about?” 

“We’re actually here to discuss something.” The designer answered. “We already talked to Yibo and Zhan’s styling team and both sides wanted matching suits. But, Mr. Zhao thinks it’s inappropriate.”

Carman crossed her arms. “I think it’s better to ask Yibo and Zhan about this. They’re gonna be the one who will wear these suits anyway.”

The designer nodded but Zhao Liyu isn’t the most amenable man in the room. “There’s no need to ask them. Why match for? What is it, a statement suit?” He said. “They’ve been too out in the public, is there even a need for matching suits? It’s like they are shouting the relationship in the whole world! Shoving it down to everyone’s throat. They’re not going to walk the red carpet together anyway.”

“Then we’ll make the match subtle like—”

Zhao Liyu raised a hand to stop the designer. “That won’t be necessary. Although they’ve been supported, they still need to look free for fans to fantasize. They’ve been too tied with each other these past few days. Xiao Zhan ditching his set for a date was even on the news and had been a hot topic for days. Too much. Too much. Fans might get sick of it.”

The designer sighed and just nodded again, disappointment written all over his face as he excused himself to check on Xiao Zhan and Yibo, leaving the two managers to talk.

When they were left alone, Carman gave Zhao Liyu a piercing gaze. “You don’t look happy with the relationship.”

“Miss Lee.” The guy chuckled annoyingly. “At the end of the day, same-sex dating isn’t as normal as other relationships. It’s okay to hype about it, even show some affection in public but they’ve done enough for these past few weeks they’ve been dating. Excessive show of affection might gross the public out.”

What a rascal! Carman’s ears almost bleed at what she heard. She can’t believe the sharpness of this Zhao Liyu’s tongue! Excessive show of affection? It’s not like Yibo and Zhan shove tongue down each other’s throat in front of the camera!

“You have so much to say. Does it gross you out?”

She didn’t even put an effort in masking her annoyance and it made Zhao Liyu smirk. Such a feisty woman! Like she’s ready to bite whoever would dare mock Xiao Zhan.

“Miss Lee, is there even a need to ask? My opinion isn’t important anyway. The agency and the fans have the say, I’m just a mere manager.”

“You’re Wang Yibo’s manager, of course your opinion is important.” She gave him a cocky expression. “Or maybe you’re just Congming’s puppet? Anyway—” She raised a hand, fingers curled lavishly. “I don’t like being around with people like you, I must make my exit now.”

Zhao Liyu just shook his head, an amused smirk still on his lips. Carman didn’t say anything else and just head out. She’ll just wait in the car, she’s so annoyed with this Zhao Liyu, she might not stop herself from terrorizing him.

  
Yibo and Xiao Zhan are on the couch, waiting for their turn, talking about the most random thing there is just to kill the time. Yibo joked that Xiao Zhan is an old cow who eats young grass (Chinese idiom abt age-gap relationship) and they were in the middle of a playful quarrel when they were interrupted by Wang Hao Xuan’s thunderous voice. The subject of his anger was no other than his poor assistant Song Jiyang. 

_Here we go again,_ Xiao Zhan thought.

That guy has been complaining every f*cking time and Xiao Zhan seriously gets jittery with him around. It’s as if one wrong move from his personal assistant and he’d throw a fit. He’s being this shameless since the staffs went out for a while to get something and only the four of them are left inside the room.

“I’ve changed my mind. Ask to re-design. I don’t like the pink suit. What am I? A Strawberry?!”

“But you said—you’re changing your mind every time.”

“Oh and you have the guts to talk back? Who are you?!"

“Hey!” He called out, couldn’t stop himself from meddling anymore. “What are you doing?”

“What?” Hao Xuan hissed.

“Who gave you the permission to bully Jiyang?”

“I’m tired! And he can never do his job properly! What the fuck is wrong with him? He acts like a boneless chicken. Fumbling every second, stumbling like an idiot.”

Xiao Zhan got sickly annoyed at that. He glanced at Song Jiyang who’s eyes were darted to the ground – probably he was too humiliated to even look at them.

“Hao Xuan, everyone gets tired, it’s not only you. You’re always like this around your personal assistant. That would be bad for your career as well.” He’s genuinely concerned as he was reminded of the comment he read last time – about someone who often yells on set.

“Why do you care?!” Hao Xuan spat at him.

With this Yibo appeared to his side, glaring at the other.

“Pftt—” Hao Xuan scoffed. “How sweet. Why don’t the both of you just pissed off? Not your P.A. not your problem.”

“You’re making the problem here.” Yibo hissed. Xiao Zhan got alarmed because between the two of them, Yibo gets more pissed easily.

“Please stop it.” Jiyang meek. “A-Xuan, don’t be mad at Yibo and Xiao Zhan—”

“A-Xuan? You work for me, who gave you the permission to call me like that?”

“That’s enough. Stop being so entitled!” He intercepted. 

“Whatever. Leave the three f*gs inside the room!” Hao Xuan mocked before walking out. He even had the guts to kick the door like a brat in tantrums.

Yibo clenched his fists. “That shitless turd.”

“Let him be Yibo.” Xiao Zhan snickered. Then he glanced at Jiyang, who’s squirming at the side. “Jiyang, are you okay? You should ignore that kid. He’s really getting more problematic as time goes by…”

Jiyang lifted his gaze, eyes, teary. “Don’t worry, I’m fine, Xiao Xiansheng. He isn’t always like this anyway.”

“Ah. You can just call me Zhan.”

Jiyang smiled at him. “Alright Xiao Zhan.” Then he wiped the pool of tears in his eyes. “Please don’t tell anyone about this, I’m sure Hao Xuan would come around.”

He was a bit surprise with that. He eyed Yibo but his boyfriend just shrugged his shoulders. He glanced at the P.A. once again.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do that. But are you sure you’re okay? That insolent brat has been nagging you ever since.”

Jiyang just gave him another lighthearted smile. “I’m certainly fine. Please don’t mind me.” Then he bowed and bid his farewell, off to follow Hao Xuan.

“Kind of weird.” Yibo muttered after the P.A. was gone.

“Yeah.” He nodded. 

There’s something between that two as if they are familiar with each other. 

“Hao Xuan used to be casually nice but when LZ gave him Jiyang as his P.A, he became too overbearing. If he can’t act right, he’d say it’s because Jiyang pissed him off, if he forgets a line, he’d claim Jiyang distracts him. It’s all Jiyang’s doing, he always blames the poor boy!” Xiao Zhan turned to Yibo. “Ah you should’ve seen his face whenever he’s angry! He threw things everywhere but on-stage he acts like this.” He widened his eyes and looks around his surrounding, he appears to be imitating an innocent kid. “Uh… Thank you to the staffs that—"

Yibo already laughed so hard before Xiao Zhan could even finish his imitation.

“Ahh!” Yibo shook his head. “Everyone thinks he’s the shy type!”

“He was, but now? No longer. Goodness, he called us f*gs? Well, then he’s a two-faced brat.”

Yibo shook his head, a smile on his lips. “How, how, may I see?”

Xiao Zhan started imitating one of Hao Xuan’s unforgettable speech when he won an award at Weibo Nights months ago. He was stuttering then, looking so nervous in front of everyone and smiling sweetly at the presenter. Yibo burst out laughing once again.

Thank God no one can see them right now. They’re like two crazy people in their own worlds, laughing about something so random.

\---

  
Their time together during their appointment with the tailor was good. So, Xiao Zhan couldn’t understand why a rumor so far from reality suddenly sprouted.

“You guys broke up?”

That was the first thing he heard when he visited the agency and ran into one of his label mates.

“What do you mean?”

“Rumor has it.”

Wang Yifei wasn’t the only one who asked him, it was followed by countless others. Even when he opened the news, it was what greets him.

“It all started with this post.” Meika said and handed him her phone.

The post was dated during the time they visited the tailor for the suits they’d wear on the gala.

Where the heck did the OP gets the idea that he broke up with Yibo? And there was even a recording of them apparently shouting at each other.

_“Why do you always act like this?”_

_“Is there even a need to ask?”_

_“You still won’t forgive me? I-I’m trying my best… I still love you.”_

_“We’re not even on the same level anymore and you’re too shameless to ask for a second chance?”_

_“E-Even if you won’t come back, just please listen to me. I’ll even kneel.”_

_“Fucking no. Why don’t you just fetch me a coffee? I still have shoots, I don’t have time to talk.”_

Shoots? Like filming? Or photoshoot? Xiao Zhan wonders at the mention of that. It must be a celebrity too… or someone working behind the scenes. 

The recording was cut off after that. It’s all that he could make. Although he isn’t one hundred percent sure if he heard it all correctly as the sound was in low quality. But Xiao Zhan is certain with one thing, it is not his voice nor Yibo’s. 

“Do I even sound like that?!” He complained. 

“Maybe those who believed it thinks that the quality was just bad that’s why they can’t clearly hear your voice.”

“Ah, but how can some of them believe so easily?” He sulked. “Just because there are two guys in the recording, they were fast to accuse? Are we the only gay couple there is?”

Meika laughed at him. “Can’t blame them. This account you’re looking at was the one who posted your picture with Wang Yibo in Purple Lotus Hotel, making people believe that she really knows a thing or two about you.”

Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened. So it was her? The reason why they were scandalized? Now, she’s targeting them again. But did she not know that whoever were the owner of those voice, they could sue her? Or she isn’t afraid?

He looks at the username and was surprised – or maybe he shouldn’t have been – when he saw that this girl was also the one who left a comment last time about him ditching the set. The so-called insider.

A tinge of worry suddenly pops into his mind. Is he being stalked? She knows things about them but why did she post this voice recording which is a false claim? What’s her agenda?

He was snapped out of his thoughts, when Meika’s phone started ringing.

_Mr. Koo calling…_

He frowned. Louis Koo is calling Meika? Why?!

The ring alarmed the girl as she quickly snatched her phone away from him. When she eyed the caller, her face became pale.

“A-Ah…” She chuckled nervously. “Maybe he’s checking on you.”

“He knows your number?” He tilted his head, puzzled “And you also got his. It wasn’t an unregistered number.” 

“That’s nothing. That’s pretty normal. I work in his company after all.” She said all of it without pause before she hurriedly ran out of the room, answering the call.

Xiao Zhan just shrugged his shoulders. It must be nothing, he shouldn’t overthink about it. 

Now, to more pressing matters. How should they debunk the rumors about their break up? 

  
The solution came up not long after. Zhao Liyu and Wang Yibo especially visited Lush Zeal Entertainment for this. They went inside a small conference room for the discussion.

“To subdue the break up rumor, you must arrive together at the TripleS.G.” Zhao Liyu stated much to everyone’s surprise – Carman the most because she can still remember what this man had said last time.

“That’s fine with me but there’s not a week that passed by where we aren’t in the news or trending on searches.” Yibo replied. “Coming together in one event is way too controversial.”

“You are dating to be controversial in the first place, weren’t you?” 

It was an innocent question but Xiao Zhan felt like he was hit with a mallet. Zhao Liyu turned to him.

“Right, Xiao Zhan?”

“Huh? Ah…” He rubbed his nape, getting uncomfortable. 

“Manager Zhao.” Carman’s interruption made him thankful. “I don’t think you phrased it correctly. They agreed to date for real, that makes them boyfriends even out of the camera. Publicity isn’t the only thing that attach them now.”

“Is that right?” Manager Zhao glanced at Yibo and Xiao Zhan once again. “Do you even truly like each other? Or you’re doing this just to try and free your conscience?”

“Why don’t we just let the kids do what they want?” Carman chimes in again. “As far as I remember, you were the one who said excessive show of affection might gross the public out. So, why are you now asking for them to walk the red carpet together? You’re unbelievably unpredictable.”

“Ah Manager Lee, always so fierce and frank.” Zhao Liyu said in a patronizing voice. “Fine, fine but I really think they should do this. Just let them see Yibo and Zhan are in good terms.”

“The thing is we are in good terms.” Yibo rolled his eyes at his manager. If he’s the one to choose, he could’ve dismissed the rumor first thing when it came out but no—Congming wanted to make everything about this relationship as grand as possible. So, they want them to shut up, let the rumors roll and surprise everyone during the red carpet of Star Summit Summer Gala.

“I don’t even know where that rumor came from? Shouting? Cursing at each other? They make a lot of rumor, it’s getting pretty lame.”

“Ah yeah yeah!” Xiao Zhan agreed, pointing at Yibo. “It was from a Weibo post, the user claimed that she’s an insider. But what I don’t understand is where did she get the idea? Was it me who was crying really hard saying I’d kneel?”

“Yes!” Yibo nodded, grinning wide. “Then the rumor goes on saying that—”

Yibo couldn’t finish his words as he burst out laughing halfway through, Xiao Zhan wasn’t any difference – he was tearing up from laughing too hard.

This rumor emerged around the time they had an argument with Hao Xuan. Some fans claimed one of them might have cheated or it was because Xiao Zhan scolded Yibo’s fan girls just recently and the younger didn’t take it lightly. Nonetheless, it was too funny.

Blessed those fans who aren't believing the rumor.

Zhao Liyu shakes his head and glanced at Carman. Manager Lee was at the side, she stays quiet but a small smile tugs at her lips as she watches the two cracking up. The rumor that made their fans upset sounds funny to them.

“So are you gonna do it or what?” Liyu asked when after a while, the two of them still haven’t stopped.

“You decide, Bo-di~~~”

“Ah, are we gonna walk side by side or I’m at the back?”

“Why would you walk behind me? Are you my bodyguard?”

“Your logic is wrong Zhan-ge. Some securities walk ahead of an artist as well. Or should we hold hands?”

Zhao Liyu sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he’s too done with these two. Just one topic and they’d tackle it for hours!

“Securities are both in front and behind!” He finally snapped. “Now what I am asking is if you’re gonna do it or not? These kids!” 

“Yah, why are you mad?” Yibo demanded. “Fine, fine! We’ll be doing it.”

“Great. That’s the only answer I need.” He said before walking out.

\---

  
In the span of two weeks, before the TripleS.G, they should dodge all the questions, and retain their silence about their break-up rumor. 

Truthfully speaking, a sense of guilt started creeping into Xiao Zhan's mind. It must be fun, celebrities sometimes do it for the hype but it's like they are clowning their own fans.

Their shippers were broken-hearted, assuming that their silence meant it was over. So, some of them took the matter in their own hands. They started sending him gifts that are addressed to Yibo and saying they want him to hand it to the younger himself. As if they’re doing this in an attempt to make them talk to each other. Fans might have thought that they still love each other but aren’t talking right now since they ‘broke-up’.

 _“Please don’t send me gifts that aren’t for me, guys (^^,) I’m afraid I’d forgot and use them.”_ He joked on SNS but oh well—Yibo think it’s best to bite back on that joke.

 _“That’s fine, what’s mine is yours. You belong to me anyway.”_ Is what Yibo posted just hours after his.

Xiao Zhan felt struck. Dusts of red appeared all throughout his face. That gremlin! How can he make him feel this way? The way he reacts on that, Xiao Zhan’s afraid that it’s becoming true. That he really belongs to Wang Yibo.

With this, their ‘subtle fan feeding’ started – if it should be even called as subtle. As he used to be a graphic designer, Xiao Zhan knew how to draw. He drew a 2D lion and posted it on Weibo on 5:20 in the morning.

_(520 = Wu Er Ling sounded like Wo ai ni. This Is a Chinese number slang. I actually learned this from HunHan 😂)_

It certainly did the job as fans started celebrating. Yibo is a Leo and they believed he’s the lion in Xiao Zhan’s post and his timestamp means ‘I love you’ as if he’s saying ‘I love you, Yibo’.

Yibo is a competitive man, and he will not be defeated in their feeding game. He posted a photo of himself in a yacht with the caption ‘sail, sail, sail’ with the timestamp 18:32 = Yibo:love Zhan

Fans think that it must mean that their ship still sails.

So instead of having nothing but silence, their two weeks were full of cryptic messages, indirect flirting, hints, wordplays and timestamp mysteries. Their fans seemed to be digging it though... and if he's being honest, Xiao Zhan would admit that he's loving it too. Flirting with Yibo is fun.

His friends were even laughing at how he became like this. Xiao Zhan didn’t know why as well. Whatever happened with his demure image?

Before dating, Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo were celebrities of great humility, they weren't the type to seek too much attention. Although they are both popular – especially Yibo since he’s been a star since young – they weren't the type who goes into posting rampant, controversies and sensationalized media but being in this relationship, they only didn’t become noisy on SNS – they’ve become the top celebrities for this month to have the most issue and rumors as well.

\---

When finally it was time for Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan to walk, the crowd was loud. After the break up rumor, no one expected that they’d walk together on the red carpet.

They strike some poses before the emcee approached them.

“Good Evening to the hottest couple of this year!”

“Good evening.” Xiao Zhan and Yibo greeted back. 

“Yibo, you often come alone with these kind of events, how does it feel to finally have a date?”

“Wonderful.”

“How about you Xiao Zhan?”

“Ecstatic.”

“That’s sweet. One more question, what can you say about the rumor that’s going around for a few days now? That you guys broke up?”

With the mention of this rumor, Xiao Zhan chuckled, he tried his best not to crack up yet when he was about to answer, Yibo burst out laughing, with this, he couldn’t stop himself as well.

“That’s—haha—that’s clearly just a rumor.” He answered and pursed his lips to avoid grinning too much. “I’m kind of hurt, who would believe that? I don’t sound like that. And I won’t kneel in front of this gremlin as well.” He pushed Yibo’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah.” Yibo nodded and wiped the tears that started pooling in his eyelids from too much laughing. “I never even ordered Zhan-ge to get me a coffee! So please, don’t believe everything you see on SNS… and one more thing, don’t hoard too much gossips.”

The journalist nodded, she looks amused with the two of them.

“Okay, guys, last question. You first, Yibo. One word to describe Xiao Zhan?”

“Pineapple.”

“Why?”

“My favorite.”

Xiao Zhan clenched his fists so hard because damn—if he’s not in front of anyone, he’d be squealing like a high school girl!

“How about you Xiao—oh wait! Are you blushing?”

“I-I’m not!” 

Yibo glanced at him from the side and Xiao Zhan shook his head furiously. 

“I’m not really blushing. How can you say so when I have too much make up on?”

The journalist just laughed at his denial. “Okay, Xiao Zhan. One word to describe Yibo?”

“Uhh… Caffeine?” It sounded more like a question.

“Why?”

Xiao Zhan swallowed. He wanted to swear that what he was about to answer is for the sake of publicity but fuck—is it?

“C-Caffeine increases one’s heart rate and affects the blood pressure…” **_Causing me to blush incessantly._** Yeah well, at least he’s honest with himself.

  
The evening went well. It was a really great night. Xiao Zhan wanted to think that they handled the press well, and even when he’s beside Yibo, they don’t look too engrossed with their own world. They still managed to be sociable with everyone.

With the appearance of Hao Xuan on stage though, he felt all his composure left his body.

The guy was smiling, singing an OST from his drama series as he waves at fans. His smile was tender. Fond.

Xiao Zhan couldn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot. Well in his defense, he could very well hold his laugh but when he glanced at Yibo, the younger started subtly mimicking the faces he did when he was mocking how Hao Xuan acts in front of the camera.

With Yibo’s absurdity, he started cracking up. Xiao Zhan even hit Yibo faintly, trying to get the younger to stop chuckling in hopes that he would be able to stop laughing as well.

They were in their own world. Even if it wasn’t really that funny, they really think it is. Fortunately, when they got caught by the camera and was shown on the screen, they were able to hold themselves. 

\---

  
The camera of the said event didn’t catch them laughing ridiculously yet some fan cams did. And with the clips of the said fan cams, came a new name for their ship – Bo Jun Yi Xiao.

There were thousands of comments under the posted fan cams and most of them are positive.

 _'Oh my heart! How can they be this cute? They looked like two idiots trying so hard to stifle their laughter to not get noticed. I wonder what they are talking about. They were in their own world. BO JUN YI XIAO SHI ZHEN DE!'_ – one comment even stated.

What if the people find out that they were actually laughing at Hao Xuan? And they were talking behind his back? Would they still find them cute? 

That thought made Xiao Zhan laugh. Speaking of cute, he has to check on his wardrobe and prepare his outfit for ARRC. He has to look dazzling since he'd be Yibo's major source of good luck that day.

\---

_“Founding Chairman of Congming Entertainment’s mansion was ransacked by a group of apparent thieves. The report was made at 3 AM this morning. What makes the police wonder though is that, nothing seemed to be missing other than what they phrased as ‘some unimportant documents’. The investigation is still on-going but He Chunfeng’s camp decided not to disclose anything about the incident.”_

Carman hoisted an eye brow upon hearing the news. She closed the book she was reading to focus on the TV screen instead.

“Sounds suspicious.” She muttered.

That mansion stands as one of the biggest in Beijing, securities roam day and night. There’s a possibility that it’s an inside job. But nothing worthy is missing. If it’s a normal robbery, there’ll be a whole lot of things that could be stolen on that mansion. But documents of all things?

However, the mastermind should’ve made it look like a normal robbery. Like steal things to cover up the real plan.

Carman sighed. He Chunfeng must be fuming mad that the police stated things without asking permission first. He didn’t want to disclose anything yet the authority already said there’s nothing missing. Those documents don’t seem unimportant to her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t seem to re-watch CQL’s Ep 18 without tearing up on the scene where Yanli and Wei Ying talks and Jiang Cheng pretends to be asleep when in truth, he was listening and crying – then Yi Nan Ping plays on the background. My heart 😭 “Can you still hear someone calling out A-Xian?” I’m too weak when it comes to the Yunmeng sibs.


	7. Proud

Xiao Zhan pouted. “After the race, I won’t see him for days.” He rest his elbow over the desk and propped his head up, lazily. “Gosh. My in-demand boyfriend.”

Carman laughed at his sad state. 

“If I only have my job as well, then I won’t be too bored!” He whined once more. 

Yibo will have to go to Paris as he was invited in an upcoming fashion week of a highly popular brand. His flight would be hours just after the race. After Paris, he’ll head to Japan for a fan meet and a variety show.

Originally, Xiao Zhan has a schedule for those days that Yibo will be away. He is to appear in a music video but the singer caught an accident that caused her to broke an arm. She was rushed to the hospital and was advised to rest. The filming was canceled.

Then his friends – 

Zhuo Cheng was chosen to be among those who will perform in a Broadway theatre. It was certainly a big event for his friend. If the MV filming wasn’t a prior commitment, he could’ve turned it down just to grab his ticket to watch his friend (although a ticket for that would be like Hunger Games, he could’ve tried). Zhuo Cheng will return a few days before his birthday and Xiao Zhan noted to himself to buy him a gift.

Ji Li is currently having a family vacation in Japan and Yubin who complains about not having anything to do with his life joined their whole family. He’s a social butterfly who can adapt well with anyone.

“I’m gonna be alone for days.”

“Why don’t you visit your father?” Carman asked after a while. 

Xiao Zhan straightened his back and looked away. “I wanted to but he might ask a lot of question… including my relationship with Yibo. I don’t know what to answer on that.”

“Did he ask you over the phone?”

He shook a head. “But he might if I visit him. If he learned the whole truth about Mr. Koo threatening me, he might say ‘I told you so’ and that being a celebrity isn’t for me. He might—”

Carman rolled his eyes. “Lots of might.” Then she chuckled mockingly. “Your father doesn’t visit you, you don’t visit him either. Men and their egos.”

“At least I talk to him over the phone and I visited him last… last—” Manager Lee stares at him in a challenging way. “Fine. I visited him a month ago. But he’s acting cold and…” Xiao Zhan sighed. “If only mom was here, things will be easier.”

When his mom died, a part of his father died as well. But he still took his responsibility proficiently, he did his best to fare as a single parent. But stubbornly choosing to be a singer-actor made his dad colder, signing under Lush Zeal Entertainment made everything worse.

Carman sighed and patted his shoulder. “Xi Feng knows how to handle things… even men and their egos.” She laughed dryly. “I was never the one to compare.”

Xiao Zhan glanced at her, perplexed. _Compare?_ Was there ever a comparison between the two?

Manager Lee just laughed. “She is a free-spirit, brave. Much even of a risk-taker than your father. Entertainment industry is a cunning world to live in. Your father from what I think only wanted to protect you.”

“But I want his support.” He whispered.

His manager ruffled his hair fondly. “Jianyu is my friend and I know him. He’s a man of few words, no talent with it whatsoever. He doesn’t know how to express himself well.” She gave him a smile, the one that reminds him of maternal affection. “But in a way, he supports you.”

Xiao Zhan looks up to her. 

“Do you know how grateful he was when I returned and suggested to manage you?”

“Grateful?”

“He said that at least, if I’m by your side, he won’t need to worry too much.”

Xiao Zhan returned her smile at that. His manager knew his father very well, they (including his mother) were friends for a long time. He can still remember how his father had breakdowns after his mother’s demise. Manager Lee often visited their house to comfort him.

“When I was a child, I don’t want dad to re-marry thinking mom will get replaced. But he was so lonely. I thought then that maybe, having a new wife would make him happy again.” Xiao Zhan laughed at the memory. “So, I told him once that if he was considering marriage, it should be with you, Manager.”

His father was surprised at that suggestion. He remembered his dad was laughing while he said that he was too young to think of things like that. 

“But dad said, he can only see you as a friend. And you already had someone else.” Xiao Zhan turned to her. “That means you weren’t always an old mai—oww, Manager!” He whimpered when he was flicked at the forehead.

“Of course I wasn’t always an old maiden! I dated guys as well. When I was in my prime—” Carman glowered, she looks petulant. “I did get asked a lot for a date.”

“Then why didn’t you marry?”

“Do people only think of marriage?” Carman rolled her eyes. “I heard that question a lot of times but I only have one answer. Marriage is for those who found the right person.” She looked away. A hint of sadness in her eyes. “It’s not like I didn’t have hopes for that. I also thought I had found the right one but maybe I looked for love in the wrong place, at the wrong time… with the wrong person.”

Xiao Zhan wanted to ask more but his manager rose from her seat and started browsing through his refrigerator. Looks like she’s gonna cook.

He rubbed his nape. Why did she suddenly become serious?

“Liyu said they’d pick you up after lunch so you should eat first before going.” She changed the subject.

Today is the race. Yibo’s manager will pick him up. They’ll be going to Zhuhai International Circuit. It would be his first time there and also the first time he’d watch an actual motorcycle race. He’s nervous.

“Also, when you’re there, it’s not a celebrity event but there will still be cameras. Avoid too much attention. It’s a game, and there could be arguments. Avoid commotions, avoid fuss.”

“Of course manager. It’s not like—”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to be seen with him.” Carman interrupted. “It’s just that you have to be careful. I know I may sound paranoid but you and Yibo are always on the news, I’m starting to get worried.”

Xiao Zhan hoisted an eyebrow. “Worried?”

She laughed and waved off a hand. “I don’t know. Just one of my anxieties, I guess.”

\---

“One mistake could mean so much. If you go too wide in a turn, the opponent might use this chance to overtake. 

Xiao Zhan nodded as Yibo explains him things about racing. The race will take place in an hour and Yibo’s crew examines the motorcycle he’d use.

“And tires. Softer tires don’t last as long as the hard ones but harder tires are slower than the soft ones. Temperature of the tire is important as well. It has to be warm.”

“What if it rains?” He asked. “It will be slippery.” He can’t imagine how terrifying it would be if he were to witness Yibo in an accident. 

His boyfriend is cool, that stood as a fact. An actor, a singer, one of the best dancers out there and even a professional racer. But his coolness is worrying.

“Why do you need to have a dangerous hobby of all things?” Xiao Zhan sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to support you all the way. I just can’t help but to get nervous.”

To his annoyance, Yibo laughed at that! The nerve! He’s here expressing his concern just to be laughed at?

He glared at the younger. “I’m serious! You need to take care of yourself!”

“Ah Zhan-ge. Don’t worry, that’s why we have wet tires. It gets warmer easily.” Yibo ruffled his hair, a wide grin on his face. "Also, I have here a guardian bunny. You will protect me from—”

“How will I do that?” He didn’t let him finish. “It’s not like I can teleport myself on the track and stop an accident.”

“Of course you can’t do that! You’ll get hit if you do… and well, if that happens, I can’t help you because I still need to finish the race.”

Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened at the joke while Yibo laughed his ass off. “What did you say?” He hit him playfully on the elbow. “You’d go on with the race even if I get—"

“So cold Yibo! You deserve that! Hit him harder, Xiao Zhan!”

His beating came to a halt upon hearing that voice behind them. He turned and saw Yibo’s teammates approaching them, they're all smiles. 

He hurriedly put down his hand. “Ah hahaha…” He scratched his head and awkwardly rose up.

“Zhan-ge, you already met Yuchen.” Yibo gestured his friend who smiled at him. “Then this is Guo Cheng, Haikuan and Yizhou.” Each of them nodded at him when their names are called.

“And as you all know.” Yibo pushed him to face them. “This is my Xiao Zhan gege.”

“Nice to meet you all.” He bowed.

Yuchen, Yibo and Guo Cheng are the riders of the team. Haikuan and Yizhou are part of the crew, one is a pilot engineer, the other is the chief mechanic.

After the introduction, Yizhou suddenly jabbed Yibo’s stomach and yelled. “This little shit has a favoritism!”

“Yah! Yizhou! Stop it!” 

“Yizhou?!” The guy repeated and jokingly threatened to hit him on the face. “You’re the youngest in our team and you don’t even show an ounce of respect? Do you want me to shit on your ride?”

“Ah Zhou-ge!” Yibo shoved his friend’s hand away “You must know that Zhan-ge is possessive. He doesn’t want me calling others gege.”

What a bluffer! Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened and pinched Yibo’s side who winced in pain. “Liar!”

He said it with such a frightening glare so he wouldn’t understand why he heard Yibo’s friends squealing at that.

“Yah!” The gremlin called his teammates. “What are you guys squealing for?”

“Ah Yibo! We’re used to that face of yours.” Haikuan waved off a hand. “And honestly speaking, we’re also sick of it—” He almost got a hit from Yibo for saying that. “But we only see Xiao Zhan on TV. Seeing him up close like this is an honor!”

“Yes, yes!” Guo Cheng was fast to agree. “And he looks good in person! I need to take a photo!” He quickly took out his phone and started taking pictures.

Pictures of Xiao Zhan alone, Xiao Zhan with each of them, Xiao Zhan with the whole team, Xiao Zhan with the whole crew. 

This Guo Cheng is too energetic, he reminds him of Ji Li.

\---

Once the race is on-going, people around do recognized Xiao Zhan but thankfully, they are all too focused on the game.

The race is going all right. The nervousness, the thrill, the excitement just added to the fun. Xiao Zhan thinks maybe he could get used to this – get used to supporting Yibo’s racing career. He shouts at times, throw punches in midair whenever Yibo successfully overtakes the opponents.

However, the fun faded on the third lap. During the seventh turn, the racer just behind Yibo was eager to overtake but his tires started slipping and he was unable to correct it immediately, causing the motorcycle to flip.

Xiao Zhan jolted from his seat, eyes wide and petrified. Even his fingers started trembling out of fear and shock. It all happened so fast!

The said motorcycle blocked Yibo’s way and he not only crashed as well – Yibo was thrown from his seat and he could only watch in horror as his boyfriend’s body got tossed to the ground and rolled in an unsightly manner.

“Wang Yibo!” He shouted so loud.

He was about to get out of the bleacher but Zhao Liyu was quick to hold his wrist, stopping him.

“Manager Zhao.”

“Medics will help him if it’s serious… Look!” He pointed at Yibo. “He can stand up on his own.”

Yibo did stand up on his own, tried to start his motorcycle again but to no avail – it failed.

Xiao Zhan witnessed him as he kicked the ground repeatedly. He’s disappointed. Annoyed. He looks angry.

And Xiao Zhan is angry as well. Things like crashing could be inevitable but as he heard the cheers of the fans of the other teams while Yibo tossed and turn to the ground, he wanted to shout at them. Why would they celebrate at the expense of a man getting hurt? Because their bet has a higher chance of winning? 

“We’ll go down.” Zhao Liyu patted his back and he nodded eagerly.

They went down on the infield open garage where the motorcycles are parked. It was where Yibo went after he crashed. Just a few feet away and he could already hear the younger cursing. Some of his team members are gathered around, trying to console him.

“Yibo!” Xiao Zhan rushed to his side. Without further ado, he started examining the younger’s corporeal. “Bo-di, are you hurt?” He asked, voice a little panicky as he lift his arms and chin. His fingers, still trembling slightly.

While he was cursing earlier, Yibo seemed taken aback at his arrival. “Zhan-ge, calm down.” Is the only thing he managed to say.

“But you—I saw you… it was…” Xiao Zhan’s words died down in his throat. As if, if he continue his speech, he’d cry. He’s not being dramatic, the incident just shocked him too much, leaving his emotions in disarray.

Yibo was indeed in fury but he tried his best to remain composed talking to him. “Don’t worry, Zhan-ge. It’s not a bad fall—”

“Not a bad fall?!” Xiao Zhan yelled. “You were—”

Yibo sighed and gave him a forced smile. “I have my racing leathers, it’s not really that serious.”

Xiao Zhan wanted to say more but Yibo stood up and patted his cheek. “Stay here for a while. I’ll go and watch my friends.”

Xiao Zhan can only watch him as he walks away.

  
Yibo doesn’t know how to face Xiao Zhan. The older took a time out of his busy schedule just to support him. Yet he didn’t even make it to the last lap! 

Pissed, he walked to the spot where he could see the track in a better angle and as he do so, he passed by Mengjing – that troll whose motorcycle blocked his path – the guy threw him a funny look and laughed with his teammates.

_Shitless wimps!_

Yibo knows that an accident is inevitable and it will happen to him eventually. He could accept that. With racing comes a lot of accidents. What he can’t accept is that not only did the other team’s fans rejoiced when he fell from the bike—but even the team itself. Mengjing’s team! They were fcking celebrating! Even did high-fives like getting him to crash was a job well done. 

They even had the guts to laugh when he passed by them. So when the race was finished, his teammates were very pissed.

“Oi!” Yuchen called them out. “What are you laughing at?”

Mengjing, the one whose motorcycle blocked Yibo’s way grins smugly. “Nothing. Just celebrating our victory. Won’t you even congratulate us?”

“We will if you are not too shameless.” Came Guo Cheng’s gritty remark. “Victory my ass.” 

“Ah don’t be disgruntled now Guo Cheng. It’s not like you have a chance on winning the race. You’re just a sub anyway.”

“I may have no chance for this year but my team has! If not for you, Yibo could’ve passed the round easily.”

“That’s enough.” Yibo patted his back.

“Enough? It’s okay if it was an accident but must they even laugh at you for crashing? Not even an ounce of worry? How is that okay?” He pointed at Mengjing. “This guy even looks proud of his doing, didn’t even apologize. He did that last year too… with Yuchen!”

“Are you accusing that I did that on purpose?!” Mengjing shouted.

Guo Cheng laughed mockingly and put a hand over his waist. Trying to provoke using his lazy unbothered smile. “I’m just saying that even if it’s on purpose or not, you’re happy that it went that way. Such dirty sportsmanship.”

“It’s not Mengjing’s fault that you guys lost—or rather, Yibo lost. Maybe it’s the world telling him that he’s not for racing! Move on kids, and you, Yibo.” Mengjing’s teammate eyed him. “You do look good on TV but this is not a place for pretty boys like you. We don’t baby anyone here. Just go home to your crazy fan girls.”

Yibo clenched his fists. He couldn’t take their shits today. It was an insult – not just to him but also to his fans.

This could have been handled easily but Yibo and his teammates were already in fury while the other team was full of arrogant blabbermouths who seek to stoke more drama into the situation.

  
Xiao Zhan has been observing Yibo and his friends for a while now. They are talking with the other team but their reactions are giving him the vibe that they aren’t having a good time. He slowly approached them, so he could hear them better.

“What did you fucking say?!” Yibo shouted.

“Easy dudes, you’re being too hotheaded for the game!”

Xiao Zhan did promise to not get attention and he’d avoid commotion but when Yibo and his team started to advance in a threatening manner, he quickly left the garage and ran to his boyfriend’s side.

“Ah! Bo-di! Bo-di!” He called in panic.

“Are you crazy?” He heard Yibo cussed at the other team.

He tried his best to get to the middle and reach for his boyfriend’s arm.

“Yibo! Let’s just go, okay?”

“Zhan-ge.” The younger’s face softened when he appeared on sight. “I told you to stay—"

“Here comes the boyfriend!" Mengjing butts in. "Look, Wang Yibo, you’re much crazier than me. There are so many pretty girls in your industry, why must you date a guy like you?”

“Ah, that’s why Yibo is so sensitive, we forgot that he has a soft heart. He’s dating a man for a reason!”

“Hey!” Yuchen shouted at those bastards. “That was foul!”

“Why? Isn’t it the truth?!”

Yibo scoffed and cursed under his breath.

Xiao Zhan held onto Yibo’s arm tightly, afraid that he’d throw the first punch.

“Yibo, you can’t be like this. There are cameras.” He reminded.

Yibo looks down on him before sighing. He unclenched his fists and nodded like a child. “We must go.”

Xiao Zhan knew it took a lot of courage to not succumb to that insult but Yibo listened to him. He smiled and was about to drag him away but the opponent’s team has so much to say.

“Were not finished yet Yibo.” It was Mengjing for the nth fcking time. “You were so brave a while ago. Where did your—"

“Yah!” Xiao Zhan shouted at the scumbag before he could even finish. “Won’t you fcking shut up?!”

Everyone looks taken aback at his sudden outburst.

“Ah even the soft spoken Xiao Zhan is arrogant in real life!” Mengjing mocked.

“Yeah, and I can even whack you with your motorcycle in real life! Smug idiot!” He threatened but this Mengjing is really something, he even had the guts to approach him.

“Well, I can’t blame you though, Yibo. If I was in your place, I’d date a boy as pretty as him!” The guy even dared to reach out for Xiao Zhan’s cheek, but even before the hand could touch him, Yibo quickly slapped it away and tucked him behind for a better cover.

“The heck dude??” – Yibo

Mengjing just shrugged his shoulders. “Too pretty not to touch.”

Xiao Zhan cringed at that. Is he a creep or he’s just provoking them? Because if it’s the latter then it’s working!

“Yibo, Yibo.” He pulled the hem of his boyfriend’s shirt. “Just let him be.”

“F*ck no! Is he crazy?” The younger muttered. “Who does he think he is?! I’ll blindside him even before he could touch you! That shit.”

Xiao Zhan got flustered at what he heard but got no time to react when a voice from behind started calling them.

“Wang Yibo! Xiao Zhan! Get in here, quickly!”

It was Zhao Liyu, with him was Yibo’s two bodyguards and Mengjing only backed away at their sight.

\---

Inside the car was an uncomfortable atmosphere. Zhao Liyu who’s on the front seat, talked and talked, lecturing them about self-control but Yibo remains quiet, he’s just staring at the helmet on his lap.

Xiao Zhan glanced at him with worry. After his annoyance was soothed, Yibo’s face was left with nothing but disappointment. He felt bad for him. 

Not just that, on top of losing the game, Yibo’s opponents even insulted him at the expense of his sexuality. If only he can do anything to lift up his spirit.

“Yibo.” He placed a hand on top of Yibo’s scarred one and only realized how embarrassing it was when the younger glanced at it. “Are you, okay?”

Yibo nodded but his face remains indifferent.

“I know you put your best effort for this and I don’t know—” He swallowed. “How to cheer you up but… but there’ll be another chance for you. Don’t dwell on it too much.”

“That’s a hard thing to do.”

Xiao Zhan sighed and castigated himself for giving a worthless advice. Of course it would be hard to not dwell on that! He’s been practicing too hard for this event, and he anticipated it with all he had.

This is the first time in a long while that Yibo had shown his coldness to him. The last time was just after the scandal, when he told him not visit on set. He doesn’t know how to handle him if he’s like this.

But even so, he should try!

Xiao Zhan nodded at the thought. “Anyway, I-I wanna apologize.”

He was casted a puzzled look. “Why?”

“You lost the game and on top of that, that idiot even mocked you using your sexuality because they truly believed that you’re—”

“Xiao Zhan.” Yibo’s voice was sharp. “There’s nothing wrong in being involved in this kind of relationship. So never apologized. At first, I was worried but never humiliated. I never was ashamed of you—” Yibo eyed him, there’s too much intensity in his eyes as if they want to convey something. “You have to understand that I’m so proud of you, Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan’s face softened, he felt like all his insides will melt and even his heart would jump out of his chest. He said it was just a crush but this is the last straw. He’s giving up. He can’t fight it anymore, can’t run from it anymore. 

From the first day he met Yibo – there were times he was cold – but he showed him so much kindness, he taught him things, stood up for him yet Xiao Zhan hadn’t got the chance to return that kindness. He avoided him, afraid to show face because he felt insecure—but maybe it was long there. It’s not just insecurity that he felt towards Yibo, he felt like he was prestigious, someone he should look up to, someone he couldn’t reach. He was afraid of liking him, yet he did like him. 

And now that they had the chance to be together, to know each other better than before, the affection felt heavier. 

He’ll admit it now.

Xiao Zhan gently cupped Yibo’s cheeks and smiled back at him. “I’m so proud of you too, Bo-di.” _I love you…_

If only he could also admit it to Wang Yibo, but for now, he can only admit it to himself.

\---

That night, at Xiao Zhan’s porch, Yibo bid his farewell before his flight to Paris.

“I’ll be back before you know it. Take care of yourself.”

Xiao Zhan playfully flicked the younger’s forehead. “You should be the one to take care. I don’t have any work on those days so I’ll most probably spend my days in the house. While you, Yibo, you’ll be a gremlin outside the country.” He chuckled. “Make sure you won’t bring mischief in Paris.”

Yibo laughed at this. At least, even when it’s not his loudest one, he can now laugh, unlike earlier. But still, he looks a bit sad. 

“I won’t. But I’ll bring mischief upon my come back.”

“Yibo, it’s time!” Zhao Liyu yelled from inside the car causing Yibo to roll his eyes.

“What a kill joy.” He muttered before glancing back at Xiao Zhan. “Okay, I really need to go.”

“Alright.” Xiao Zhan said almost begrudgingly but he reached out for Yibo’s cheeks and stretched them out. “Let them see who’s the fashion king.”

“Sure, I will. I don’t lose twice.” Yibo joked. “See you, Zhan-ge~”

Xiao Zhan watched as the younger went back to the car. He pouted when the door was shut closed. He wants to talk to him more, spend time with him a little longer.

He isn’t the most clingy person there is, it’s not like he will die if he won’t see Yibo for days. But Xiao Zhan felt sad… too sad and he doesn’t know why. As if something will happen while he’s away.


	8. The Downside of Fame

  
_“He’s getting more outrageous as time goes by. Last time, it was said that he cursed and threatened Yibo’s opponents during the race and now he hit an old man who’s walking on the sidewalk. Crazy bastard.”_

_“I’m not a fan of either Xiao Zhan or Yibo but he’s dragging Yibo down with his stupid antics.”_

_“It’s either he was drunk, busy with the phone or just a plain idiot. Either way, it’s jail time for Xiao Zhan._

_“Don’t conclude things without hearing Xiao Zhan’s side. He was the one who rushed the old man to the hospital. We need to hold our judgment for now.”_

_“Of course he’d send him to the hospital. It’s his responsibility. Shooo shooo XZ apologists! Your fave is a criminal.”_

On top of reading those hateful comments, Xiao Zhan even saw some videos of his ‘fans-turned-antis’ burning his albums and posters and posting it on social media.

Xiao Zhan pulled out his hair in frustration. Why are they doing this? Of course fans shouldn’t blindly support but why are these fans turned antis do excessive things as if they know what really happened? Or are they just being defensive of themselves and to avoid being mocked for liking him, they started going to the extremities just to show off they don’t favor what he had done?

Tears started brimming down his face for the umpteenth time. What should he do? If the man – hopefully not – won’t be able to wake up, he’d have to carry the weight of a man’s life on his back all throughout his life. Can he bear something like that? 

He watched as his car hit a man, watched as the life within the said man fades away, his blood on his clothes as he rushed him to the hospital.

The screeching noise that resulted from the friction of the two cars in collision with one another still echoes in his head. It scares him.

He didn’t want to cause an accident but nonetheless, it was center on him… the reason why it happened involves him.

  
No one answered the door even when she used the doorbell, with this Carman has no choice but to use her spare key before anyone sees her outside and flock her.

Nowadays, paparazzi lurks around the compound here in hopes of encountering Xiao Zhan and get a scoop from him.

What greeted her was Xiao Zhan on the floor, his head slammed onto the coffee table, a phone in hand.

Carman hissed before snatching the phone away from his grasp and what she saw infuriates even her. People are calling him a criminal!

“You should stop looking at those.”

“B-But manager—” Xiao Zhan’s lips started to tremble, a sign that new tears will start to fall. It was falling non-stop for two days now.

“Only use your phone when you have to talk to your dad and your friends. Stop torturing yourself. Does reading mean comments helps you?”

Xiao Zhan remains quiet.

“No, right?” Carman sighed and put the phone away. “People will help you but to what extent? You have to know that in this world, the most you can rely on is yourself. You must take your stand now Xiao Zhan.”

“Then what should I do? Lush Zeal—”

“I already talked to the management.” Carman cuts him off. “What they want is that you’d release a statement of your own.”

Xiao Zhan eyed her with worry. Carman’s face softened as she clutched his hand.

“Don’t misunderstand. They’re going to help and will take legal actions once the culprit is found but they are leaving the explanation to you. They thought it would be best if you’re the one to release an official statement. No public relations team this time.”

Xiao Zhan nodded. He doesn’t know what to say but he should explain himself. The task of clearing his name is down to him. However, with the things he saw earlier, he’s afraid to open his social media accounts. The public hates him. Some even said that he should be the one lying on the hospital bed.

“I don’t think I can make a statement right now.”

Carman looks at him with pity. “Be strong. It’s not your fault.” She whispered.

It wasn’t but it was still his car that hit the man.

  
_Flashback:_

  
_Xiao Zhan has been driving for almost an hour. All he wanted is to go home and plopped on his couch like a lazy teenager._

_He just went out to buy a gift for Zhuocheng’s upcoming birthday but on the way home, he noticed a black car following him. He also saw it on the parking lot of the gift shop a while ago._

_It must be a sisheng fan, it happens sometimes. Xiao Zhan’s afraid that the car would follow him to his house and they will know his address. He was left with no choice but to wonder around, take numerous turns in hopes that they’d lose sight of his car._

_Xiao Zhan did hope that he can handle the situation all on his own so he didn’t dare calling the police because calling the police might just make the situation bigger._

_However he regretted his decision once it happened…_

_Xiao Zhan turned to a street called Nightless Avenue – a compound where numerous cafés and stores are situated next to each other. The car that’s tailing him was able to catch up to his side. It was dangerous as it drives too close to his car._

_Without further warning, the car gets nearer until he heard the screeching noise before his car stirred left._

_He was hit…_

_And the collision resulted with his car swerving to the sidewalk. With the incident, the stalker’s car was fast to maneuver and rushed to leave the place._

_Xiao Zhan could only watch in horror as his car hit a passerby. This passerby was an old man, and he was easily thrown out of the way._

_People started gathering and Xiao Zhan admits that he was horrified, that he doesn’t want to go out of his car. But still he needed to. His conscience can’t carry something as heavy as a life of a man._

_Xiao Zhan ignored the blood on his temple, the tears on his eyes, his own wounds, he even ignored the gasps of the people when they recognized who he was. With trembling hands and wobbly knees, he rushed to the old man and tried his best to carry him back to his car._

_Luckily, the engine started. His mind was in a mess, the only thing he can comprehend is that, this man needed to be saved._

  
_Xiao Zhan didn’t leave the hospital, he was outside the emergency room as they waited for an immediate family member._

_When the daughter of the said man came, the first thing he received was a slap. It made his head turn, but he doesn’t feel the pain. He felt numb, his eyes were lost._

_“What have you done?!” The woman demanded, held him by his shoulders and shook the life out of him. “What have you done?!”_

_She cried thereafter as she repeatedly asked the question._

_Xiao Zhan stared at her for a while. She looks aghast, vastly horrified, and what he feels is nothing against what she feels. It was her father for goodness’ sake! Breaking out from his trance, Xiao Zhan gently guides the woman to take a seat even when she’s pushing him away._

_“P-Please calm down, ma’am.”_

_“Calm down?!” She shouted in fury and pointed at the emergency room. “My father is there because of you and you’d ask me to calm down?!”_

_Xiao Zhan bit his lip. “I’m sorry—”_

_“And your sorry can save him?”_

_“I-I was… I didn’t wish for this to happen but—” Xiao Zhan started tearing up once again. “I’m sorry. I was a victim too…” He whispered. He wanted to curse at how stupid he must have sound. He sounded as if he’s playing the victim card._

_“Victim? You hit my father and you’d act as if you’re—”_

_“There was another car…” he muttered, almost without voice._

_The woman paused for a while. “Another car?”_

_Xiao Zhan even when he’s still trembling, tried his best to explain the whole truth. When his story ended, the woman looks dismayed._

_“You didn’t see the plate number?”_

_He could only shook a head._

  
_Xiao Zhan was there until the next day. When the other family members arrived, he received another wave of curse and blames. Even when he was drained, he tried his best to explain. And when the police came in the morning, he was obligated to explain once again._

_When Carman Lee arrived at the hospital, Xiao Zhan felt somehow relieved. She pursued—no, begged. She begged him to go home, take a rest and promised that she’d bring him again to the hospital._

_The family members of the old man, agreed with her manager. They stayed cold but Xiao Zhan felt that they now understand him. They said they’ll update him._

_Carman and the securities had to fight their way just to get to the car as journalists and paparazzi flocked outside the hospital. They were too loud, and by the way they ask questions – he knew that they are blaming him without hearing the whole story… he knew that the coming days will be hell. The media will demonize him._

_Xiao Zhan felt the world collapsing._

\---

_“End of career? That’s what the public thinks of the rising star Xiao Zhan after he was involved in a car accident that happened yesterday around 6 PM. This incident endangered a passerby, an eighty year old man who was walking by the sidewalk. Until now, the patient remains in coma. Family members had chosen to keep their silence and said that they are still waiting for the final investigation._

_On the other hand, some of Xiao Zhan’s fans-turned-antis are posting their burned posters of Xiao Zhan, others even went to the extent of stripping down the posters and advertisements he had in public places._

_Netizens started citing drunk driving as the reason for this incident, while there are some who concluded that he must be busy with phone. That as to say, let everyone be reminded that when driving, we should stay focus.”_

The man watching the news turned off the television and eyed his son. “What a pity, I heard he’s a good guy.” 

“He is. But that’s not important. What’s important is that we were given enough time to do the cleaning. Looks like Lush Zeal won’t have a say on this. Xiao Zhan is left alone to save his name. That’s better, this might be on the news a while longer.”

“There are lots of other things we can use to divert attention. Why do you always target him and Yibo?”

“You know how much I hate Yibo, dad. And the two of them are one of the most popular nowadays.”

“You say that when that kid brings the most money. We already have so much on our back, we can’t have another addition to the problem. What if your underling tells on you?”

“How can he?” The son’s smile was devilish. “Guns will be pointed at his family.”

“Ah you grew up like me. How foolish.” The man shook his head. “You did a good job, A-Peng.”

The son’s smile became wider. That was a good job of course. People won’t stop digging about one person’s immoral acts, they have to do something about it or they’ll both be busted. As they are busy cleaning the traces of offense, bribing officials and threatening witnesses, the news is busy entertaining the audience and giving them a new public enemy.

Although, the original plan was just for Xiao Zhan to get slightly hurt not hit a passerby. But it turned out like that. Anyway, since it was a bigger mess, it was a better diversion.

\---

Xiao Zhan checked his phone – which he tried to avoid for the whole day – just to see if there’s any important message… zero message from Yibo. Normally if he’s busy, he’d at least check on him with short messages but now, there’s nothing.

Could it be because he heard about what happened and he wanted nothing to do with him anymore? But that’s not Yibo. If Yibo knows, he will certainly check on him, ask him for his account, ask him if he’s doing fine.

Xiao Zhan nodded, held onto the belief that Yibo did not know and he’s just too busy to pick up his phone. 

Xiao Zhan wanted to tell him and seek comfort from Yibo but if the younger didn’t know the incident, then it’s better for it to stay that way or he’d just worry about him. He’ll know about it sooner or later anyway.

He tried to call him, but the line was dead. Yibo must be busy. He just left him a message. 

_How are you, Bo-di? Have you been busy?_

\---

“Mr. Koo, I didn’t know that he’d do that. I—I just followed the orders. Be the eyes and ears. He asked for Xiao Zhan’s location, I gave it to him.”

Louis massage his temple. “I know, I know. We can’t let them win. If we condemn them for this, they’d surely manipulate the situation to their advantage. We must think of another way to expose them but for now, we can only play by their rules.”

They will not touch him, unless he touched them first. He should keep his silence for now.

“Mr. Koo, I want to quit. I can’t do this anymore. Xiao Zhan did nothing wrong to me.”

To be honest, Louis wanted to quit as well. Just go to the authorities and confessed the truth he had found out. But he can’t. If he won’t use logic and won’t plan his every move, he could get incorporated with the case as well. 

And this accident is just the tip of the iceberg. If all was exposed, there’ll be too many cases to charge and legal actions to take.

Louis can’t get involved in that, it’s not only him that will get dishonored, he also carries the name of Lush Zeal Entertainment.

Louis only wanted to get even with Jianyu, Xi Feng and Carman by ruining Xiao Zhan’s career. But he never wanted to involve that kid in an accident and endanger anyone. He never wanted to help anyone get away with their crimes by masking the news. He never wanted to obstruct justice – he only wanted revenge.

Turns out, who he made business with was the notorious ‘Business Tycoon A’ himself.

  
\---

Another two days passed, there's still no sign of Yibo. Overall, it’s been four days since the accident and five since Yibo left. Xiao Zhan thinks that it’d be impossible that no one told him or in these past days, he hadn’t checked his phone and saw it on the news.

What if Yibo knew but he was just too disgusted with him to even bother calling?

“So, how are you?” 

He snapped out of his thoughts when Carman voiced out her worries. Since the accident, she’s often here to comfort him.

“Uh..” He looked down. “Dad called, asking if I was okay. I told him I’m alright and that there’s no need to worry and I already talked to the family of the man.” Xiao Zhan smiled. “At least he still cared, even asked me if he wanted me to come b-but I can’t let him come. Paparazzi are often outside the village nowadays, they might recognize dad and he’d be flocked. And it’s also a relief that he’s not active on SNS. He won’t see how I was hated.”

“I’m sure he already heard enough on TV. Media sucks when it comes to this.”

Xiao Zhan shook his head and glanced at his manager. “Manager Carman, I miss dad but I can’t ask him to come and witness me like this. I can’t show him I’m affected.”

Carman sighed. “You need him the most right now.”

Xiao Zhan just gave her a faint smile before excusing himself to head for the comfort room. 

Carman knows better, he’ll just cry again. She sighed. Xiao Zhan is too sad already, what will happen to him if she tells him the conversation he had with Zhao Liyu earlier?

Right, Manager Zhao called, and what he bore wasn’t a good news.

  
“Manager, you wanted to tell me something. What is it?” Xiao Zhan finally asked after a while. His manager looks at him every now and then as if she wanted to say something. She’d mumble some words and would stop halfway, not daring to finish.

Carman decided that she must spill it. So Xiao Zhan knew, he wouldn’t wait for Yibo’s call anymore.

“Fine. I don’t want to stress you more but Zhan, Zhao Liyu talked to me. He said that if the victim won’t wake up today, he will try to talk to the agency to stop this relationship. He doesn’t want Yibo’s name to be dragged down together with yours.” She said it without pause, as if she was nervous.

Xiao Zhan’s stare turned blank.

Zhao Liyu wanted to break them off, although before that, he needed the approval of the agency. But even so, he’s certain that they’d approve his appeal, they would surely want to protect the name of their biggest star.

Xiao Zhan massaged his temple, tears started to blur his vision. He cried a bucket yesterday and the days before. He thought that there’s no tears left for him to cry but he was wrong.

Is this why he never got a text from Yibo after the incident?

“Th-That’s good then.” He forced a bitter smile. “I don’t want him to be hated as well.”

Good? That actually hurts. They promised to act like real boyfriends, but a scandal like this can break them off – a proof that they’re just dating because of the public… in the end, they’re not real. 

Yibo told him to take care and he'd be back. But he failed to take care and now, he's not coming back to him.

Xiao Zhan wanted to cry harder. In the small amount of time that they’ve been together, he became too accustomed with Yibo’s presence that losing him all of a sudden hurts like hell.

He fell in love with the person he once was afraid to even approach. But now, Yibo will get away from his grasp once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behind too much love is a great deal of hate.


	9. A Look Into The Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BJYX first encounter. This is base on Xiao Zhan’s memory. There’ll be one for Yibo’s side – that would be longer, I guess and won’t happen for another few chapters.
> 
> We’re halfway there… But the drama’s just starting. However I often forget things while I’m writing and this often cause a change in the story progress.

**Special Chapter: A Look Into The Past**

(2 years ago)

Xiao Zhan was eight when he decided he wanted to be a singer. His mom loves music to the core, when she’s sad, when she’s happy, when she’s in pain, she said music is her refugee. Xiao Zhan remembers how she lulls him to sleep while humming a song. He also remembers how when bedridden, his mother still has the heart for music.

Xiao Zhan thought how fascinating music is, that even his sick mother gets to find comfort from it. Being a singer became his dream but what if it wasn’t meant for him?

He sighed as he browse through the gallery of his camera. There are photos of him, on the stage captured by his friend Yubin. It’s been three months since I-Fire, the idol competition show he took part in has ended. Unfortunately, he didn’t win. Not even placed on top five. 

It’s been three months and no one from the show business industry ever contacted him for a project. He only got one modeling gig and after that… there was nothing.

He left his job to pursue music – much to his father’s dismay. During the show, his father never appeared in the recording nor did he cheer for him with the live audience. He got no support from him.

However, Xiao Zhan didn’t listen to his father, he stubbornly followed his own track. Aside from his friends, no one believed that he could do it but because no one did, he put more faith to himself. 

Maybe he was wrong all along. People could clearly see that he hasn’t got any chance yet he persevered. Some acquaintances laugh at him for even dreaming. They mocked how he left his former career to pursue an impossible dream.

He stared at the photo once more. A man from the background caught his attention. It was Wang Yibo, who was sitting at the judge’s panel. He can remember how his confidence melted away when they needed to introduce themselves to the judges. He learned that he was the oldest participant… and even a judge was younger than him.

This young judge also made him awestruck when he danced on the stage. He often witness Yibo on TV and Xiao Zhan knew long before that he’s good – arguably the best but on live? He was phenomenal. Astonishing. Like seeing a star up close, bright and dazzling. 

Wang Yibo was a sight to behold and Xiao Zhan felt like he should at least be half as good as him before he has a chance to win. He felt more nervous.

During the introduction, he tried his best to smile, to win the hearts of the people, he even winked and shoot arrows with his fingers. But did he even win someone’s heart that day?

His friend Yubin used to comfort him saying that the show must have favoritism and they always show their favorites in the camera – to have more exposure. He isn’t a favorite. That’s the sad truth. 

The show had 16 episodes, he was eliminated during the 11th and he remembered he didn’t cry on backstage, instead, he ran outside the building, at the parking lot, crying by the gutter.

Coincidentally, one of the show’s judges was also in the parking lot… and it was Wang Yibo of all people! Of all the judges on the show, Xiao Zhan could say he likes him the best but they never talked with each other aside from the evaluation. It’s like there’s an invisible wall between them.

_“Don’t cry.” Yibo muttered, he’s standing in front of him. Xiao Zhan just glanced at the younger and cried even harder._

_“You can cry, but you can’t let the hurtful words get to you. If you let them in, it will destroy your mind. Your soul. I’m telling you this as a warning, while you still can run, you have a choice to live normally, however if you really want to be part of this whole entertainment circus then you should be tough. Hundred of times you’ll get rejected, hundred of times you’ll be cheated, defamed, there’ll be no freedom but the worst of all—people will hate you without reason. If you want to achieve your dream, you should be able to withstand the intensity of fame. If you can’t do that, then you should quit.”_

_“I don’t wanna quit.” Xiao Zhan whispered._

_“Then be tougher, contestant #8. Next time I see you, you should be tougher than this.” Before he could even react Yibo crossed the spaces between them and wiped his tears with his own fingers._

_Xiao Zhan was frozen and as if Yibo noticed it, he was fast to back away and averted his gaze._

_“I’m sorry… I-I just…” He frowned. “You have to wipe your tears away. It’s distracting.”_

_“Th-Thank you, Wang Laoshi.”_

_Yibo didn’t say anything and started walking away._

Yibo was right, he often cries after an episode because of the criticisms. He must have been annoyed with how he cried. He must have looked hideous that time. 

Xiao Zhan sighed with the memory. He glanced at the camera and was about to press the delete button when his phone rang beside him.

PD Ty calling…

Xiao Zhan’s eyebrow perched up. The main producer of I-Fire is calling him. It has been three months! He put the camera down and quickly answered the call. A little hope bloomed within him.

“Producer?”

“Xiao Zhan? Is that you?”

“Yes sir. Why did you call sir?”

He heard the man clearing his throat from the other line before speaking again. “A casting director called me. Someone wants you on a film.”

Xiao Zhan couldn’t stop the beating of his heart. His eyes even doubled its size. “Wha—Really?! They really want me?”

“Yeah, I got a long list for them of the contenders of the show, even persuaded them to take some of the more popular contestants but they are fixated on getting you.”

He almost sneered at what he heard. 

“Anyway, I was just checking if this is still your number since they’re asking for your contacts. They’d call you later so be prepared.”

“Sure sir. Thank you.”

Without further ado, the line was dead. He grimaced at the producer’s snobbery but smiled thereafter. He happily took back his camera and turned it off. He won’t delete the photos for now. He still has a chance.

\---

Xiao Zhan smiled upon reading his scene at the script. 

Yeah, his own script. Finally!

After he was called by Producer Ty, a casting director reached out to him and invited him in an audition. The casting director said that they were looking for an amateur who can at least sing to take the role of an immortal.

Xiao Zhan learned that this film includes Wang Yibo as the main protagonist – the judge who told him to be tougher. So, he promised to do his best. He will let him see that he has a potential and that he will not quit.

It was a small role but Xiao Zhan tried his best to memorize the script for the audition, he even seek his friend, Zhuocheng’s help since the guy has an experience in theatrical acting.

His hard work seemed to have been paid off when he got the role. His character is an unscathed ancient creature who guards the Mountains of Dafan, who many people seek to ask for help. 

If the Guardian of Dafan sees the good in someone, he’d cast a mist to show his presence, a soft sound of dizi will be heard and after the sound, a white rabbit will show up – at this point the wisher will state why they came and what assistance do they need.

There’s a ritual to be recited to call for his presence. It goes like this:

“Immortal one, guardian of Dafan, the fairy of the East, with a voice of the wind. The force of nature trusted upon you, please help me, I ask of you.”

He was also given some phrases he must sing, for in the storyline, his soft singing voice can be heard around Dafan during a starry night.

He absolutely loves his role, and he loved it more when the day of costume fitting came.

“Goodness, Xiao Zhan!” Ji Li exclaimed. His ever supportive friend went on his way to assist him during the filming. “Hanfu looks good on you! You should be discovered by producers who want to adapt Xianxia novels into films.”

He hit his friend at the shoulder. “Don’t tease me, Ji Li.”

“Ah I’m not teasing you, everyone will think the same. Do you want to have a bet?” Before he can even say no, Ji Li already pulled him by the wrist and ran to where the other casts and crews are. He’s shameless, so he acts as if he knew everyone here. “Guys, guys! Does he look good?”

Everyone nodded, some even left compliments.

“Wang Yibo, how about you?” Ji Li asked the guy who remains quiet in the corner. He pushed Xiao Zhan in front for display, holding him by the shoulders. “What do you think of the Dafan Guardian?”

“Uhm…” 

“Does he look good?”

Yibo threw a glance at him before averting his gaze right away. They thought he wouldn’t care answering but then he nodded and his approval was enough for Xiao Zhan to blush. 

The brat Ji Li did it to fluster him. Because his friends often say whenever he talks about his time in I-Fire that the large portion of his story revolves around how cool Wang Laoshi is.

\---

Xiao Zhan examined himself in front of the mirror once again. He could say, the clothes indeed look good on him.

He has a good feeling about this role. However all his exuberance melted away when after a few days, a guy named He Peng visited the shoot and he overheard his conversation with the director.

He Peng is the son of He Chunfeng, the founder of Congming Entertainment who helped financed this film.

“Ah, I have a favor to ask, director since my father – Chairman He is the executive producer, I want you to put our new talent in here too. I’m sure this film will hit big since our Wang Yibo is the lead and it would be a good exposure for our Jiao Jiao.”

“Jiao Jiao?”

“She debuted just a month ago and I want you to give her a role. I’m sponsoring her, you see.”

_Sponsoring?_

“Ah, so she’s Yibo’s labelmate? Then we’ll take care of her, sir.”

That’s how big people talk, just a few words and they can get what they want. Xiao Zhan feared for the worst and it was proven to be worth fearing for when the film director approached him, bearing a bad news.

His role was to be changed from the Dafan guardian to an extra who will die in the first episode of the film. Xiao Zhan just nodded in everything the director said. He has no win anyway. It was the son of the executive producer who asked that favor and the talent that will replace him is someone from under their own agency as well.

Xiao Zhan acted as if it was okay but once he was alone, he cried with the unfair treatment. 

“You can just quit.” 

He froze upon hearing that voice behind. He quickly wiped his tears away before turning and—why does Yibo need to see him in the most embarrassing points of his life?

He felt mortified. He felt as if he’s a clown. 

_Why does he always have to see me like this?_ He cried even harder.

“If I were you, I’d leave with my head held high.” Yibo said nonchalantly.

Xiao Zhan’s brows furrowed. “Why do you always have quit as an advice?” He sniffed and continued, “I’m not you. Unlike you, no one would run after me once I walk away. If I quit, that’s it. But if you quit, all rules could bend just to get you back.”

With the lack of reaction from the younger, Xiao Zhan wanted to take back his words. It sounded as if he was mad at Yibo. But that wasn’t the case. He’s just not in a good mood and he aimed that annoyance towards Yibo.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered after a while but instead of answering his apologies, the guy casted him a puzzled look.

“Do you really want to stay in this filming?” 

Xiao Zhan looked down, he toyed the ground with his foot. “I have a dream too, you know? After I lost, I was only asked for a photoshoot and nothing after that. Then now, I finally got a call, and it’s a big thing for me. This is the only thing I got, I must hold onto it.” He answered truthfully. “So even if I have to die in the first episode, I don’t have the right to complain. You’re right, hundreds of times, I’ll get rejected or even cheated.” He smiled bitterly. “But you also told me that I should be tougher. I’m trying right now.”

Yibo stayed quiet for a while. Xiao Zhan thought he’d just leave without saying anything but he’s wrong.

“You really are a stubborn one.” It was the farewell he got from Yibo before the guy walked away without turning back on him.

Xiao Zhan thought it ends with that – Yibo’s concern – and he’ll just let him do whatever he wants without care. But the next day gave him a different thought.

\---

“Aiyaaa! Xiao Zhan!” Ji Li shouted once he entered the studio.

“What?!”

“You should’ve witnessed it! Jiao Jiao couldn’t act and she couldn’t sing the Dafan’s melody as well! She was demanding a dubber! She’s been shooting the same scene with Yibo for like a hundred times but she really has no talent! Then Yibo got annoyed. He said, they are wasting time and Huang director was afraid since this is his first time encountering a huge star throwing tantrums! Yibo questioned why they even replaced you and requested that you get back the role because you can act better! Chairman He’s son was here and he got mad at Yibo, threatening that he’d soon take over Congming so Yibo must play it nice with him but Yibo called Chairman He himself who told the director to grant Yibo’s wish. He Peng got more upset that his father didn’t take his side.”

Xiao Zhan paused for a while, unable to comprehend Ji Li’s words.

Chairman He is the executive producer who financed this film so his word is like the law. He Peng, his son talked to the director to give Jiao Jiao a role – Xiao Zhan’s role, that’s why he got replaced and the Dafan Guardian was changed into a woman.

Then Yibo got mad because of Jiao Jiao’s inability to act, He Peng was here and overheard what Yibo said, the reason why they got into an argument.

Yibo didn’t back down though, he called Chairman He who ordered the director to grant his request… much to his son’s dismay. It isn’t a wonder how Yibo got the chairman’s phone number since he’s an artist under Congming Entertainment and everyone knows that the founding chairman favors him a lot.

Xiao Zhan nodded as he analyze Ji Li’s words. 

He finally underst—WHAT?! His eyes widened. This means his role was back! Maybe that was the reason why when he passed by Jiao Jiao and He Peng earlier, they were giving him the eye.

He doesn’t know what to feel. Should he be happy or scared? But nonetheless, he still ran in search of Yibo.

“Thank you.” He said shyly once he finally got the chance to talk to him alone.

“For what?”

Xiao Zhan rubbed his nape and looked down. “I was able to get my role back.”

Yibo glanced at him and nodded. “You should do your best and humiliate them for even thinking of replacing you.”

“Eh?”

“I know the situation calls for it but this could happen to you once again in the future. A celebrity must be humble and polite but you should know when to fight for your right. You just don’t say yes to everything and expect to be respected. If you do that, they’ll only take advantage of you.” Yibo delve into his jean pocket for his earphones. “Hang tough. Prove that you are worth it. Take care of yourself, Zhan-ge.”

Just that and Yibo plugged his earphones and started walking away.

From that day on, he completely understood the invisible wall between them. The wall he so wanted to cross. Yibo was on top, whatever he say is important. He is the main person and Xiao Zhan silently promised himself that one day, he’ll prove his worth and Yibo will acknowledge him. 

For now, he can only admire him from afar but he promise with absolute resolution that one day, he will definitely reach him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember on the first chapter, it said that Xiao Zhan got recognition from his first film even when he only got a small role? I’m talking abt this Dafan Guardian role. I wonder why the casting director thinks of getting Xiao Zhan? Do you wonder too?
> 
> Anyway, I heard that Heaven’s Official Blessing will have a live action. I’m still rooting for Song Jiyang and Wang Hao Xuan to play the lead roles 🤧


	10. Sun Beams Amidst The Rain

Below are two clips, since there'll be a song in this chapter. Before you carry on reading , you can listen to it to know the tune beforehand. The first one is the original while the second one is my favorite cover. You can listen to whichever you prefer. Nowadays, I'm addicted with the cover though I also like the original.

\---

“Where’s that shit?” Zhao Liyu muttered. He wonders why he even accepted this job. He almost has no time for himself and it’s a huge addition to his stress!

He has to work together with the company, broadcast staffs, arrange schedules and many more. Not only is Yibo an in-demand celebrity, he should also fare with the brat’s mischief every now and then. Like right now, he’s chasing a twenty-two year old grown ass man who runs as he pleases.

They just landed and were busy collecting their baggage when that idiot started running away from the crew. But he wasn’t able to caught up with him since the fans started ganging up on him.

He doesn’t know why the heck was he the one being flocked by fans! They are all calling him Yibo yet if he looks at them, they’d be a bit surprise that he’s not their oh-so-beloved menace. The f-ck? They are about the same height but they don’t even look the same. The face mask he wears might have done the trick.

“Yibo looks a little different.” He heard one fan said. It made him smile wryly.

“What’s their problem?!” Liyu asked one staff member while his eyes are still busy roaming the whole area in search of that gremlin.

“Manager Zhao…” The staff looks like he was stifling a laughter. “Yibo posted your outfit on Oasis and said he’d be wearing that on the airport.”

“What?!” And his gullible fans believed that liar?

That’s why Yibo asked him what will be his airport fashion!

Out of irritation, he quickly took off his face mask and let Yibo’s fans savor the sight of his face.

“Yibo must have made it to the exit already. I overheard, his friend’s gonna pick him up.” The staff added.

Oh and he even called his friend to pick him up. He really planned this beforehand!

Zhao Liyu wanted to mutter a string of curse yet when his phone started ringing, he stopped himself from doing so.

It was CEO He, that man who has grinning cunningly as an expertise. He went out of the crowd for a while. Finally, fans left him alone!

“Uh, Mr. He. Nice to hear from you.”

“What are you saying about a split?” He sounded like he didn’t like the idea. Well this man isn’t really agreeable when it comes to business.

“Yibo’s name is being dragged down with him.”

“We’re not gonna call it quits for them. BJYX will still be useful in the future.”

“Future? Does Xiao Zhan’s career even has a future?” He asked. Well, he’s just being honest. He could end up in jail.

“He’s on the news right now but I’m sure he’d get away from this.”

“With all due respect Mr. He, how are you so sure about it? He just hit an old man who was walking on the passerby’s lane. Even when you look at it in any angle, he’s to blame.”

“You should really be updated at all times, Manager Zhao. His car was hit by another, just wait for it, I’m sure there’d be witnesses.”

So it wasn’t really Xiao Zhan’s fault? Then it all dawned onto him.

“You know so much about it… did you—”

“Shhh… some things are best left unsaid.”

The call ended after that. Zhao Liyu wondered about it. Congming’s getting worse as time goes by. First it was just an act to cover up a news, a diversion. But it went on longer. BJYX has been going on for a month already. Instead of using other celebrities to stir the media, they took advantage of the two and they ended up to be the constant diversions.

Zhao Liyu felt guilt seeping through his veins. He took up the managerial job for Yibo six years ago. When that brat was still that lousy teenager who thinks that it was okay to use unwashed socks for three consecutive days.

In a way, even when he hates that brat to the core, taking care of him has became his second nature.

But well, what can he do? CEO He and Chairman He are the boss. Defying them would not only end his job. It could be worse.

\---

It’s the fifth day since the accident and Xiao Zhan hasn’t released any official statement yet. The agency has been pushing him to do it but he doesn’t know where to start explaining.

Lush Zeal is under a lot of pressure too, this is why they already released a statement of their own. But it was just a brief one saying that they are cooperating closely with the police.

In all five days, Xiao Zhan’s routine was sulking at home > going to hospital > sulking at home. But for today, the patient’s family advised him to take a rest. Having a flock of paparazzi outside the hospital adds stress to their daily lives. They wouldn’t want to be on the spotlight while they are anxiously waiting for the patient to wake up.

So that leaves him with nothing to do but to slouch on his sofa, avoiding social media and the news. He can only watch some films and take a nap. He rarely picks up his phone because some unknown numbers kept on contacting him. These are journalists, they are experts when it comes to digging information.

“It’s Yibo’s flight home today.” He was reminded as the current scene of the movie he’s watching unfolds in the airport.

He’s going home but not coming back to him. With bitterness, he turned off the television and sprawled on his couch. It’s better to take a nap!

While trying to fall asleep, his mind is occupied by Yibo. He already entered his head, there’s no way to make him go away.

_“You can’t let the hurtful words get to you. If you let them in, it will destroy your mind. Your soul.”_

_“If you really want to be part of this whole entertainment circus then you should be tough.”_

_“If you want to achieve your dream, you should be able to withstand the intensity of fame. If you can’t do that, then you should quit.”_

_“Next time I see you, you should be tougher than this.”_

It was all Yibo's words. He thought he could live by it. He can live with all the hates but he’s not numb. If this is the intensity of fame then how can he handle it? It seems like except from his dad and friends, in the whole entertainment industry, Carman Lee is the only one he can lean onto. Yibo was just his wishful thinking.

\- DINGDONG! –

Xiao Zhan was about to doze off to sleep when his doorbell rang. He thought it’s Carman with her daily visit. But his sleepiness was kicked off of his system upon opening the door.

“Yibo?!”

Seeing him standing on his porch is already a shocker but Xiao Zhan was taken aback when Yibo walked straight to him and the first thing he did was to bump his forehead over his shoulder like a child.

“Yibo, is everything alright?” He asked and was about to move away but the younger caged him into a hug to restrain him.

“Look at you, I should be the one asking you that.”

He was frozen. Did Yibo come to comfort him?

Xiao Zhan’s face softened and patted the younger’s back. He last saw Yibo six days ago, on this same porch telling him to take care and he’d be back before he knew it.

He promised he’d take care but look what happened. Xiao Zhan was involved in a huge scandal! He doesn’t know how to face him.

“Zhan-ge, tell me, are you okay?”

He didn’t speak, so Yibo shifted away and scrunched his nose. He waited for his reply.

Xiao Zhan is not okay. He feels like shit. But does he even has the right to complain? A man’s family is in vain because of an accident that was centered on him.

“Have you eaten yet?” He asked instead.

A small headshake was all he got as a reply.

Xiao Zhan tried to smile and placed his hands gently onto Yibo’s cheeks, lifting his face up.

“Then let’s eat together… I’m gonna cook.”

He must not bother him with his problems. He was reminded of Zhao Liyu’s plan and this maybe their last day together. This shouldn’t be a sad day. He wanted to say goodbye to Yibo with a smile.

Xiao Zhan was busy cutting the vegetables while humming a song. He used to hum everyday but he realized that these past few days, he hadn't done that in a while. The stress from the accident really caught up to him. Yet seeing his boyfriend makes him feel a little better.

 _Boyfriend._ The word sends him warmth. Unfortunately, it will have to end soon.

Xiao Zhan wished they could stay like this forever but if fate won’t allow, then he’s still thankful for having this chance. For having a chance to know how it feels to be Wang Yibo’s special person.

He was about to glance at the sofa where the younger was taking a nap but he froze on his spot when two arms snaked their way to his waists, hugging him from behind.

D-mn!

Yibo locked hands onto his stomach and placed his chin over his shoulder. He could feel his breath against his skin, it sends a tingling sensation onto his scalp.

“I-I thought you were—you were sleeping?” He asked, doing his best not to faint right there and then.

“Not sleepy anymore.”

“You’re only been sleeping for… for no longer than 10 minutes. How can you—”

“Doesn’t matter!” Yibo cut him off, by the way he said those words, Xiao Zhan knew he was pouting. He couldn’t even turn his head to the right because his lips might land on the guy’s cheek.

Xiao Zhan gulped. Why is he acting cute, right now?

“Why are you whining like that?”

“Because I missed my boyfriend.”

The words made him panic internally. He heaved a sigh and told himself that although he said it like that, Yibo might have been doing these things because he wanted to be babied by him. Like a little brother or a younger friend. Wang Yibo liking him would be a dream. How could someone as perfect as him fall for him so easily?

“Don’t you miss me, Zhan-ge?” Yibo gazed at him and he could fucking feel his breath against his cheek! They’re too close with each other.

He does. He really does but…

Xiao Zhan put down the knife and turned to Yibo. Maybe they should talk about it, there’s no sense avoiding it.

He held onto the younger’s wrist and guided him to the living room.

“Yibo," He started. “I missed you but… I thought your manager wanted us to—”

“Ah he’s boring!” Yibo waved a hand off to dismiss the subject. “Sorry, ge. I only know of the events last night, no one informed me. My phone went missing for days, only to find it in my Manager’s bag! He must have kept it hidden for me not to check on you. And I tried to contact you but he had too many alibis. My mistake was that I believed him!”

Then Yibo held him by the shoulders and stared right into his eyes. “When I found my phone, I can't contact you so I called Manager Carman instead. She explained what really happened with the accident so before my flight here, I called Yuchen to pick me up. He dropped me here. I managed to escape all the staffs.”

So, he isn't here to bid his farewell? Xiao Zhan doesn’t know what has gotten into him but without further ado, he just pulled the younger into a hug and cried so hard on the crook of his neck.

“Zhan-ge!” Yibo gasped in shock but he didn’t move away. He just rubbed circles onto his back.

“Yibo… Bo-diii…” He sniffed. “I don’t know what to do. The media blames me! Maybe I shouldn’t have went out alone. Then no one would have followed me… I was partly to blame. I-I should have called the police when I had the chance but I did not. And—And now someone’s in a coma because of me.” He sniffed. “I was partly to blame.”

“Ah Xiao Zhan!” Yibo sounds as if he's going to scold him. He shifted away from him and pinched his cheeks. It made him cry harder.

“See, see? You are too sensitive!” The younger accused. “You’ll cry like you’re five—how the hell can a five year old run over a man? It wasn’t your fault! You were a victim too but you handled the situation like a grown up!”

“They are blaming me.” Xiao Zhan wiped his tears like a child. “The media blames me.”

Yibo sighed. “Zhan-ge, I know it’s hard to ignore the hates but there will always be people who will believe in you, who will trust you. Once you explain your side, everything will be fine again.” Then he was poked on the cheek. “Look at your face! You aged in a week! Did you only cry when I was gone?”

Xiao Zhan huffed. “You said I cry like five and now you’re telling me, I aged? You are an idiot, Bo-di!”

“Yeah, Zhan-ge.” He said it like he was talking to a child. “And this idiot will make you smile."

"Aren't you afraid?" Xiao Zhan's lips quiver as he wipes his tears away. "That staying with me will make people hate you too?"

Yibo gave him a tender smile, he shook a head. "I'm more afraid that you'll hate me if I leave you like this."

That answer spells magic, his chest tightened and tears started flowing from his eyes again. Although Xiao Zhan knew it's not because of sadness. It's because he felt happy and he can only show it through his tears. He'll stay with him even during this hard time.

Thank God for Wang Yibo! He pulled the younger by the shoulder and caged him into another hug.

If time shall stop, then let it stop now. Let him hug Yibo for a whole day, as it soothes his heart in the best possible way.

**“Lift your head, baby, don’t be scared**

**Of the things that could go wrong along the way”**

Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened when a soft low voice broke the silence between them.

**“You’ll get by with a smile, you can’t win at everything but you can try”**

_Is he singing for me?_ Xiao Zhan closed his eyes and rubbed his head onto Yibo’s shoulders.

**“Baby, you don’t have to worry**

**‘Cause there ain’t no need to hurry**

**No one ever said that there’s an easy way**

**When they’re closing all their doors**

**They don’t want you anymore,**

**This sounds funny but I’ll say it anyway**

**Boy, I’ll stay through the bad times**

**Even if I have to fetch you everyday**

**We’ll get by with a smile,**

**You can never be too happy in this life”**

Yibo moved away from him to look at his eyes, Xiao Zhan tried to hold his stare as well, even when he almost got a heart attack for doing so. Yibo’s eyes were too expressive, too intense. Like it was reaching for his soul.

‘ **Cause in a world where everybody**

**Hates a happy ending story,**

**It’s a wonder love can make the world go ‘round**

**But don’t let it bring you down**

**And turn your face into a frown**

**You’ll get along with a little prayer and a song**

**Let me hear you sing it**

Yibo paused for a while and pouted at him. Xiao Zhan casted him a questioning look.

“Zhan-ge, I said, let me hear you sing it.” The younger whined.

Xiao Zhan’s nose is still red, cheeks still rosy and eyes were swollen but he finally laughed before singing as well.

**‘Cause in a world where everybody**

**Hates a happy ending story,**

**It’s a wonder love can make the world go ‘round**

**But don’t let it bring you down**

**And turn your face into a frown**

**You’ll get along with a little prayer and a song**

**Lift your head, baby, don’t be scared**

**Of the things that could go wrong along the way.**

**You’ll get by with a smile**

**Now it’s time to kiss away those tears goodbye**

When it came to that point, Yibo kissed the spot just below his eyelids where his tears brimmed down for days. He indeed kissed away his tears.

**Let me hear you sing it**

**With a smile**

Xiao Zhan couldn’t stop the wide grin that appeared on his lips after their duet ended.

“Welcome back, bunny-gege.” Yibo teased, because of his bunny smile.

“Welcome home cat-didi.”

Xiao Zhan giggled when Yibo’s face turned sour at the given pet name. The younger bumped a fist onto his own chest. “I’m a lion!”

Xiao Zhan extended his hand as if asking for something. “Paw.”

“What?”

“Give me a paw.”

“Eh?” A bit hesitant, the younger lifted his hand and put it over the older’s palm. “Like this?”

Xiao Zhan nodded. “Cats love scratches too—come here.” He gestured a hand to ask the younger to come closer.

Yibo shifted closer to him, clueless. “I’m a lion but fine.”

“Lions are big cats. Here, let me take a look at my lion.” He opened his hands again as if asking for something. Yibo doesn’t know what he meant so he just went on placing his chin over his Zhan-ge’s palm.

“Good boy!” Xiao Zhan squealed and started scratching the other’s chin. His hands went up to his cheeks, to his ears, then to his hair. “You’re such a mood-maker, Yibo.”

“I didn’t do much though.”

Xiao Zhan smiled while stroking Yibo’s hair.

Yibo thinks he didn’t do much but staying by his side to show that he cares is more than enough. He said that he’d bring mischief upon his comeback but what he brought was comfort. If the rain symbolizes the problems, then Yibo is the sun…

**His sun that beams amidst the rain.**

“You always do so much Yibo. So much for me. You’ve done more than enough.”

While staring at the younger’s face, Xiao Zhan thought of how great it is to have a boyfriend like this.

Indeed, Wang Yibo is a wonder among men, he could take someone’s breath away. He’s handsome, too beautiful… ethereal even and there’s a surge of butterflies in his stomach whenever he thinks that he’s dating him. He had a chance to fall in love with the best person—that was more than what he bargained for.

For Yibo, he’s worth being cared for, worth believing in, worth going against the odds for. Xiao Zhan felt that his feelings can be reciprocated. Has he landed too lucky? That Yibo fell in love as well? But even when he desires to know, he’s still scared of the possibility that the younger do these things not because of love. He’s afraid to ask because things may change, and Xiao Zhan doesn’t want anything to change.

He never had any expectation at the start, he could remember how stressful it was when he saw his name on a headline saying he’s dating Wang Yibo. How he didn’t know what to do, who to call, who to ask for help.

But now that they have come to this point, now that he has Yibo around, staying by his side to fetch him up, Xiao Zhan never imagined he’d owe that scandal a great relationship. He does feel bad for lying to the people who supported them but he couldn’t find the regret in his heart. He chose to lie… and that path took him to being this close to Yibo. He could hold him. **He could reach him**. Even in just the public’s eye – he could say he loves him. **He could show that he loves him.**

And with the love that he feels within him, he feels like he could conquer the whole world. He feels like he could do everything. He feels brave.

Xiao Zhan smiled to himself as an idea popped inside his head. He rushed for his desk, turned on the laptop and started typing.

_“Hello, this is Xiao Zhan. I’m deeply sorry for concerning everyone with the accident that happened a few days ago. I already talked to the patient’s family and we took actions to assess the situation in the best way that we can. It is in my deepest regret to announce that the patient hasn’t waken up yet but we are trying to remain positive. We are still waiting for him to wake up._

_As for me, I’m fine, so to those who were worried about me, don’t worry anymore. I already had a talk with the police and I will explain my side once everything is settled but I can assure you that no one wanted this to happen. It was an accident beyond my control. I also have to clear the misunderstanding—I wasn’t drunk nor on my phone when the accident occurred so please, stop spreading fake news regarding the situation. For now, please pray for the patient’s fast recovery._

_To everyone who witnessed the accident, if you could please message my agency. We will contact you as soon as possible. We need your statement and we’ll be very grateful for your cooperation.”_

Xiao Zhan finally pushed himself to write.

There are many people who said they believe in him and they will continue to support him but there will always be antis… and media will do everything just to make the news bigger.

However, Xiao Zhan became hopeful more than ever. With him finally releasing a statement, he already made a move to stand for himself. With the people who support him, he will get over this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed ‘girl, I’ll stay’ with ‘boy, I’ll stay’.


	11. With Love Comes Hope

What Wang Yibo said was true. Xiao Zhan aged in a week. The bags under his eyes, the slight thinning of his cheeks were quite visible. It was the result of loss of appetite and overthinking. But after that kid arrived back home, Xiao Zhan had to make up for all the times he hadn’t eaten his meals.

Yibo only stayed at his home for a night and left the morning after to attend his bookings. He has a very tight schedule! Yet even so, he took the matter of fattening Xiao Zhan up to his hands. Every day, Yibo’s bodyguard, Lele, will knock on his door, bringing lots of food. Xiao Zhan would have to eat at least half of those before Lele could go back and report to Yibo. 

Compared to the past few days, Xiao Zhan somehow feels a little better but as long as the patient remains in coma, his mind wouldn’t be at rest.

While the investigation is on-going, he’s trying to get back on track – practicing his singing skills, making scripts inside his head about what he’d say once he's back on interviews. 

Part of getting back on track, Xiao Zhan started using social media once again. He isn't posting but just to see the recent updates about him and how he’s being perceived in the public’s eyes. 

However, he unexpectedly fell into a rabbit hole of fandom slang. He’s busy reading this so-called _‘BJYX Candy’_ thread, it was flooded with countless comments. He just discovered today that their fans call sweet moments – whether confirmed, rumors or theory – as candy. YiZhan flavored candies that can apparently cause a large amount of cavities.

Then there’s this slang _‘washing candy’_ when someone proves that an apparent candy is false. 

_“Here’s our latest candy fam. Someone said that they saw YB leaving the compound where XZ was rumored to have bought a house back in May. If this is true, this means that our boys are still together even after the accident.”_

_“Yibo be like ‘Mama, I’m in love with a criminal.’ Such a waste of a talented man. Wish he changes his mind.”_

He tightened his hold on the phone upon reading that comment.

_“Mama I’m in love with a criminal? Have y’all forgotten that Xiao Zhan was literally dubbed as ‘China’s Son-In-Law’ for winning the hearts of even senior citizens? I bet Yibo’s momma, loves him as well.”_

_“Ugly farts commenting rude things. They’re jealous that Bobo decided to stick with our Zan Zan. Have you read our XZ’s statement? He’s gonna prove his innocence, just wait. I heard, witnesses are coming out. #BJYXSZD”_

Xiao Zhan smiled at the two comments above. It’s not like he wants his fans to engage in fan wars but after the nerve-wracking ordeal he went through, he’s too sick to be called a criminal. There are many who also think that his agency must have been doing something for him to not get punished by law. Seeing someone speaking up for him makes him grateful.

And the netizen’s words were true, some witnesses started showing up. Unfortunately, none of them saw the stalker car’s plate number. But with them backing him up, it’ll be a lot easier.

His reading session though was interrupted by a loud ring coming from the phone.

_Miss Zhang calling…_

It’s the patient’s daughter! With a feeling of nervousness, he hurriedly answered the call. Please let it be good news!

°°°

Xiao Zhan chuckled as he examined himself in the mirror. 

Yesterday, late afternoon the daughter of the patient called. She said that her father woke up but still in the state of confusion. He remains quiet but he now however responds to stimuli.

Xiao Zhan wanted to go as soon as possible but the woman told him to take a rest first and just visit the next day as her father needs time to absorb all that has happened before they can talk.

Today is the morning after, he's heading to the hospital.

Since the accident, the agency strongly instructed that whenever Xiao Zhan's out of the house, he should bring a driver with him. This means, he's not driving. 

Carman ushered him to head out first as she's gonna drop by the market to buy some fruits to bring on their visit. This is why he’s alone when he entered the hospital, speaking of alone, he hasn’t heard of his P.A., Meika for almost two weeks now. She used to follow him around, if they’re not together, she kept track on him through text.

In the hospital, although he got some glances and he heard some whispers, people here seemed too busy to even walk up to him.

“Xiao Zhan.”

But as he was walking the hallway, someone called him from behind. Xiao Zhan turned and his eyes rounded. “Ziyi? You’re working here?”

Meng Ziyi, Yubin’s cousin and the current subject of Zhuocheng’s affection.

“This is where I work now. It’s my shift.” The woman sighed, her face remains stoic. “Heard you on the news, are you okay?”

Xiao Zhan smiled and approached her. “I’m doing… fine. I’m relieved that my patient is now conscious.”

“Yeah, I was the surgical resident during the surgery.”

His eyes widened again. He didn’t know that!

“Really! Thank you then! I don't know how I will ever repay you."

“That’s not necessary. I'm just one sixth of the team that save your patient's life."

He just nodded. “How’s he?”

Ziyi shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not as… dramatic as the news says it to be. He’s not on life support, and we don’t need to amputate his leg.”

Xiao Zhan lightly chuckled on that. There was indeed a rumor that emerged, stating his patient is on life support and his left leg needed to be amputated.

“Although, some of his muscles were torn.” Ziyi continued.

“Broken bones?”

“Fractured, his left leg was inserted with a metal rod. Femoral fractures usually heal in three to six months but there could be complications that can delay this. It also depends on the patient.” Ziyi smiled a bit. “Anyway, I’m heading to your patient’s room to run a test. Walk with me.”

  
Inside the room, Xiao Zhan was greeted by the old man’s daughter and the staff physician who led the surgery. The old man is awake but he remains quiet, his right leg was elevated.

“The healing process varies, but in Mr. Zhang's case, it could take six full months for his bone to adjust." The attending physician explained. "But he can try and walk earlier than this. In two weeks, I guess, our patient can practice walking again. He will also need therapy. We need to work on his physical functions. If we couldn’t get it restored a year after the injury, most likely it won’t return.”

“When will he start the therapy, doctor?”

“A PT will come later to explain the plan, it could start as early as tomorrow. I’m certain he'll start with just a few stretches, some routines he can do even when lying in bed. Also, a nurse will pay a daily visit to clean and disinfect the staples. Other than that, our patient is stable.”

Xiao Zhan nodded. “Thank you, doctor.”

The physician gave him a small smile and patted the old man’s shoulder. “I’ll pray for your fast recovery sir.” That and he left the room.

“Sir. I’m sorry this happened to you.” Was Xiao Zhan’s first line when he was left with the patient. The daughter said they needed some time alone so she left the room.

The old man gave him a thin smile. It was faint but Xiao Zhan nearly cried. Even without words, he felt he was forgiven. Last time, the patient was unconscious and covered in blood but now, he’s actually beaming at him.

"So, what my daughter said was true?" The man asked in a slow pace. "Xiao Zhan was indeed the one who brought me to the hospital."

He nodded. “I-I’m… really sorry sir.” He sniffed. “I will—”

“Shhh…” The old man weakly clutched his hand. “I heard what happened. Not your fault, boy. Not your fault.”

“Sir—”

“Call me shushu… do you know that I often watch you on TV?”

°°°

“Yeah, he was really nice! Even told me that I should give him a shout out on TV!”

“You really are famous in the older generation, Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan laughed at Yibo’s joke. After leaving the hospital, once inside the van, he immediately called the younger to inform him how it went. Originally, Yibo wanted to visit as well but he’s too busy today. 

“Because I have all the requirements as a good son-in-law.” He answered. There used to be an SNS joke calling him the perfect son-in-law.

“Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately for all the parents, my mom and dad are winning. The son-in-law every parent wanted has been reserved to them.”

Yibo and his honeyed tongue. Xiao Zhan fought off a wide grin. “Pfft—How about you? I remember fans used to call you ‘Asia’s Boyfriend’ unfortunately for the whole Asia, you’ve been reserved to only me~~”

Carman beside him almost choked on her drinks with what she heard. Xiao Zhan only gave her a sheepish grin. He’s embarrassing himself in front of his manager! 

“Ah Zhan-ge…” Yibo whined over the phone. Xiao Zhan likes to think he’s affected with his joke like he was with Yibo's joke. “You know what I thi—”

“Wang Yibo! Get your ass out here!”

Xiao Zhan distanced the phone away from him when Zhao Liyu’s voice boomed from the other line. He was scolding Yibo once again. 

“One minute!” He heard his boyfriend yell back before getting back on him. “Hello Zhan-ge.”

“You need to go.”

“Yeah I’m really sorry.” Yibo sighed over the phone. “But I’m free on Saturday, how ‘bout you?”

Xiao Zhan pondered for a while. “I wasn’t fully booked but I’ll have a photoshoot in the afternoon.”

“Okay then.” Yibo sounds like he’s back smiling. “Maybe I can visit the set. I want to talk to you about something..."

Once the call ended, Carman glanced at him in a teasing way.

“Sweet.”

Xiao Zhan pouted. He was about to say something but their attention was caught by the sound of flash news coming from the LCD monitor installed on the ceiling of the vehicle.

When Xiao Zhan saw his face on the thumbnail, he knew it’s an update regarding the accident.

_“The police have found a new lead in a form of a stolen car report that was made on September 6. The stolen car fits the description of the vehicle that was said to hit Xiao Zhan last week. Its owner, Mr. Zhou Guowei recalled that on the evening of September 6, he was about to go home from work when a man suddenly approached him and asked for his car keys. He couldn’t do anything as he was held in gunpoint.”_

Carman rolled her eyes. “Weird that I wasn’t informed that they’ve found a new lead. LZ Ent is cooperating with the police even without me.” She said bitterly.

 _“Since this has become a public case, we got the permission to publicize the stolen car’s license plate.”_ Then the said plate number was shown on the screen. _"The police are encouraging everyone who happened to notice this license plate to come forward and cooperate with the case."_

“That is, if the plate number wasn’t thrown away somewhere else.” Carman eyed him and shrugged. “Many thieves are wise. They could fabricate it with paint, hoping that no one would take their time staring at it to even notice. If this wasn’t the case, they could steal other car’s plate numbers for replacement. Of course, with these techniques, they’d get busted one day. But who cares? It’s a stolen car. They won’t use it for long. They can dispose it anytime.”

“I hope we get the right one. If this case comes to an end, I can finally have my peace.”

Carman chuckled. “At least we get to clear your name before your big fan sign.” She looked outside and sighed. “Once at home. Go straight to bed, you need the energy. You have to look good for the event tomorrow.”

Because tomorrow, he’s back to work.

°°°

_“Just in. This morning, at 4 AM, a man was arrested for driving what seems to be the stolen car of Mr. Zhou. A concerned citizen made the report when she recognized the model of the car looks exactly the same as the one that was shown on TV and it’s plate number was missing too. It made her suspect that the car was stolen. Mr. Zhou later confirmed that it was indeed his car and the thief was identified by the police as Mr. Feng Chong._

_During the interrogation, Mr. Feng confessed that he was about to dispose the said car by the time he was caught. He also admitted that it was him who hit Xiao Zhan’s car last week. He said it was all an accident and he was following the celebrity to take stolen photos of him and sell it to media outlets or fans. The investigation is still on-going as the authorities doubt his reasons but the police are positive that the case will be solved in the coming days.”_

“He’s a paparazzi?” Xiao Zhan frowned. “Selling my photos to media outlets is common for them but… but even with fans? Manager, do you think it’s the truth?”

Carman shrugged her shoulders. “Fandom culture can get weird at times but whatever this man says is suspicious. He stole someone else’s car just to follow celebrities around? That’s too… excessive. I think it’s lame.”

Xiao Zhan sighed. “I feel like something’s odd. I don’t know anymore. I’m not sure about the car incident but do you remember the voice recording?”

Carman nodded, she remained quiet as she waited for his continuation.

“That girl who posted it claimed she was an insider. She also commented how I ditched the set and that someone always yells during the filming – I think she was referring to Hao Xuan.” He swallowed, being reminded of these things makes him uncomfortable. “She’s also the one who posted that photo of me and Yibo in Purple Lotus Hotel. If she knows these things—” Xiao Zhan shook his head.

Carman frowned. “If she knows these things then she’s somewhere close. You should have told me earlier.”

“I wanted to but with all the things that’s happening, I couldn’t find the right time.”

“Right time?” Carman scoffed, it sounded like a sarcastic laugh. “When you noticed something was odd the first thing you should’ve done was to tell me.”

“I’m sorry manager.” Xiao Zhan said as he lowered his gaze. He can’t win a staring contest against her!

“I know you’re a topnotch when it comes to academics but with things like this—how can you be this stupid?” 

Xiao Zhan was about to whine as he was offended with the word used but Carman’s eyes were sharp and intense, as if she’s gonna burn his soul.

“Do you think they are the same person? The girl who claimed she’s an insider can be faking her gender online.”

“I don’t know. But if this girl becomes active in SNS while the man’s in jail, they can be different people.” He replied with a pout.

Carman nodded, she paused for a while as if in deep thoughts before she stood up and fetched her bag. “Really, Xiao Zhan, you should be more wary. If something seems weird, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Where are you going?” She’s suddenly leaving. “Are you going to the police station? Can I come with you?”

“No. Two hours before the fan sign, I’m sure you’ll get picked up anytime now.”

“But I want t—”

“Lush Zeal already sent a representative. For today, you have to focus on your work. Assure your fans, they are worried about you. I’ll see you at the fan sign later.”

Xiao Zhan nodded. His thoughts weren’t completely out of the accident yet but he needed to start working again. He has a fan sign later. It was scheduled a month ahead. He can’t just cancel it more so that he’s already proven not guilty, his company will pressure him to go.

This is his first public appearance after the mind-blowing scandal that almost drained his emotional capacity. This fan sign needs to go well. His publicist even wanted him to visit some charity event for a good publication after the accident but Carman turned it down on behalf of him.

Celebrities were prepared by their respective companies to face everyone with a smile even when it’s hard, to control your emotions, hide things you can not show. He hopes he was prepared enough.

°°°

“I don’t care who you’d put in jail, just make sure it will not be Xiao Zhan!” Louis tried to remain as calm as possible as he spoke over the phone.

There was a point in time where he orchestrated and plotted against Xiao Zhan’s career but he didn’t mean to destroy his name up to the point of putting him in jail.

“Ah Louis, I thought you hate the boy? Why are you being soft with him lately?”

“I’m not being soft. It’s just not acceptable for him to receive the blame. He’s still a talent under my company, we still need to protect his name.” 

“Should have thought of that before coming to make business with me. Anyway, don’t be so hot headed Louis, I’m not planning on completely ruining his name. We just need him for this time. Since you went after our residence, I’m sure you already know why.”

Louis sneered, he knows why. They needed a fucking diversion! Instead of using Yibo and Xiao Zhan just once, they started using them every time they needed a cover.

After that party hosted by Mr. Chan, he hired some professional thieves to ransack the He's mansion. He spent a sum of money just to get these guys. He even had to bribe one of He Chunfeng’s securities to assist with the plan, a man named Feng Chong.

They found some documents, old contracts, deeds of ownerships, evidence against He Chunfeng. But Louis doubts those were all there is. He came into a realization. Business Tycoon A of the news is He Chunfeng of Congming Entertainment.

An inside job was suspected regarding the trespassing and He Chunfeng accused one of his men who resigned a few days ago was an accomplice of the thieves. He sought him and the man confessed that he was bribed by Louis Koo. 

The He’s threatened Louis when they found out. They said, they will not touch him, unless he touches them first. He should keep what he knows to himself. Louis has no choice but to stay compliant to them until he finds a way to get out of this mess.

“Just clean the mess before his career gets completely over.” He muttered.

He Peng laughed on the other line. “Wasn’t that what you wanted for Xiao Zhan?”

Yeah, he used to think he wanted it but now? F*ck, he regrets it. Everything went out of his control.

“Don’t worry, Louis, as long as you’re on our side, nothing will happen. Xiao Zhan will be free again. Are you not watching the news?”

“What do you mean?”

“The suspect has been found. Surprise, surprise~"

Just that and the call has ended. 

Louis hurriedly turned on the television and indeed, on the news, it was said that the culprit was found.

There was a photo of a man. He felt sick to the stomach upon realizing who it was.

Feng Chong! That guy he bribed to assist the robbery.

Louis thinks he knows what’s happening. Since the He’s caught this Feng Chong betraying them, they must have threatened him to obey their every order. Get Xiao Zhan into an accident and come forward after it. It’s their punishment for the man, for him to be in jail. 

They must have threatened him using his family!

Louis feels like he’s in a game of chess, and another wrong move, he’d be cornered, he’d end up being checkmate.

But a loud knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. When it swung open, he felt his headache got a lot worse.

“Carman.”

°°°

 _‘Just several minutes more’_ Is what's running in Xiao Zhan's mind as he interacts with fans. 

Don’t get him wrong, Xiao Zhan loves his fans. He’s grateful for them but he’s feelings weren’t completely sorted out yet. His mind is busy with the case.

“Xiao Zhan!” He was snapped out of his thoughts with that call. He budged in surprise but was quick to give a smile.

“Hello~” He greeted back.

“I hope you’re doing fine today.”

“Thank you, I’m doing fine.” He was handed an album to sign. It was his latest one. Its title track was the song he recorded with Yibo.

“Xiao Zhan.” The fan started again. "Because of you and Yibo, I thought that if I'd be open and brave, I can find a love that as happy as yours. I was inspired by you and Yibo that I decided to come out to my parents.” Then he held his hand and smiled so big. 

One of the guards was about to shoo the boy’s hand away from him but Xiao Zhan shook his head to the guard, signaling it’s okay.

“I hope you’ll inspire more people who are afraid to face who they are. Thank you for being a role model. Thank you for being brave. I will support you wholeheartedly. Please be happy with Wang Yibo.”

He opened his mouth to say something but there was a lump in his throat that stopped him from speaking. His eyes started to water as well. He felt proud at what he heard but there was a guilt in his system that’s eating him.

It was true that the LGBTQIA+ community supported them. There are times where they’d send food trucks with rainbow banners for support during filming. Just like them, most of his and Yibo’s fans protected their relationship by leaving positive comments and reporting homophobic posts that target them. 

Xiao Zhan is bisexual. He had come to learn it because of this relationship . But what they told to millions of people was a lie. He dated Wang Yibo for his career – not because of his sexuality or because of love. 

Although he knew it already, **he wanted this to continue because of love.**

Xiao Zhan tried his best to smile at the fanboy. What he was about to say was out of genuine thoughts.

“There will be times that I'll let you down. I'll make mistakes, there may come a point where I'll be indecisive and annoying a-and just a complete disappointment. But please don’t let go of me. Thank you for viewing me as a role model, I’m happy with what I have today—with who I have today.”

“That’s good to hear. Please give me and advice about love.”

Advice about love? Xiao Zhan smiled, he only knows a few things about romantic love and those things, he only learned them through Yibo.

“Love comes in the most unexpected time. But there’ll be someone who will think you are worth it. Who will fetch you at your lowest point; who will choose to stay with you because he's more afraid to lose you than to go against the odds. There'll be someone who will give you a reason to face the world with a smile. If that someone came, treasure him.”

“Wow!" The fan exclaimed. "Love really wins in the end! I supposed it was an advice based on experience?”

Xiao Zhan nodded happily. It is. It really is.

Carman who’s at Xiao Zhan’s side throughout the whole event heard that little conversation. That night, on the way going home, she couldn’t keep her thoughts to herself anymore.

“Everyone believes you to be in love.” She started.

“You know what’s that for, manager? For the sake of…” Xiao Zhan frowned, didn't like the taste of the word that’s about to get out of his mouth. “My career.”

“Dear Xiao Zhan. Was it?” Carman put her hands over the young man’s shoulders. “You can lie to millions of people but you can’t lie to yourself. However, at this point, the truth they know and your own version of truth… has it become the same? Have you fallen in love?”

Xiao Zhan lifted his gaze at her, eyes eager for an answer. “Am I too obvious?”

Carman Lee smiled. “Love is just something that brightens up a person’s life, it radiates in our smile, reflects in our eyes. If it’s a happy love, it will be like that. One would appear glowing… like you do for the past couple of weeks.” She chucked and shook her head. “But if it’s the kind of love that hurts you more than it brings you comfort, it’s a heartache that bears no fruit. I wish for you and Yibo’s happiness. Please don’t get hurt Zhan-Zhan.” 

"I hope so too, Manager Lee." Xiao Zhan smiled.

You can't blame him for hoping as with love comes a lot of hope.

However, it is also a well-known fact that with love comes a great deal of pain.


	12. Love & Lies

Really, Xiao Zhan, just talk to Yibo!” Ji Li consoled the guy who’s now slouching on the living room, his face was flushed from crying and too much drinking.

“No! Not today!” Xiao Zhan’s scarlet-streaked face sagged, his lips formed into a pout and his eyes turned sad. “If I talk to him, everything about us will end! I don’t want anything to end.”

Ji Li turned to Yubin who shrugged his shoulders in reply. Xiao Zhan called them earlier, weeping like he was dumped by his boyfriend of ten years. He sounded drunk while he kept chanting _‘I think Yibo wants to break up with me’_.

With that, the two of them quickly drove off to his house to check on him. Zhuocheng isn’t with them since he’s still in New York, busy with his Broadway shows.

“Xiao Zhan, how can you be sure that he wants to break up with you if you didn’t let him finish talking?” Yubin asked calmly although he’s only one second away from hitting Xiao Zhan with a mallet.

His friend isn’t just stubborn, he can also be ultra super pessimist. He’d cry over an unsure thing because he overthought about it already.

“I’ll talk to him some other time but not today. I can’t hear it. I don’t want to lose him.”

Ji Li sighed. “You need to hear the truth. What if you’re just overthinking the situation?”

Xiao Zhan plopped his elbow over the coffee table and rest his chin over his palm. How he wish, he’s just overthinking but the way Yibo started his speech earlier – he said he was happy that they became close, glad that they gave this relationship a chance.

A nice split often starts like that – say some good stuffs before breaking up the news.

If you are curious on what really happened, let Xiao Zhan’s memory take you on the event earlier.

  
Flashback: 

It’s Saturday, Xiao Zhan just finished his photoshoot and he’s with Yibo. The guy brought him Starbucks coffee on-set and waited until the shoot ended. 

Xiao Zhan thought it will be another good day, where Yibo is overflowing with sweetness and adoration. But one sentence from the younger put him on edge.

“Zhan-ge, I’m thinking about our relationship.”

Xiao Zhan’s heart beat suddenly speeds up.

What about their relationship? He wanted to start running away. If it’s a bad news then he doesn’t want to hear it!

“Wh-What is it?” He asked nervously but he tried to put up a smile, in return he looks constipated.

“I think we should—” Yibo sighed and massage his temple, seems like he couldn’t grasp the perfect word and Xiao Zhan only gets more anxious with this.

Does he want to put an end to their involvement? Just the thought hurts his chest.

“Look, Zhan-ge, I’m happy that we gave this relationship a chance and…”

Xiao Zhan nodded, tears almost visible from his eyes. A nice rejection often starts with compliments and praises yet it ends with a broken heart.

“I’m glad that I came to know you more but this thing between us—”

There’s a but!

"I feel b—"

Even before he could finish, Xiao Zhan immediately rose up. If he’s gonna break up with him, then he doesn’t want to hear it today! He needs to prepare himself before it happens.

“C-Can we talk about this tomorrow? I—I remember, I have an appointment, I have to go…” He smiled, tried his best for his voice not to crack. “Tomorrow, Yibo.”

Just that and poof! He made a run to his car.

“Heading home?” The driver asked.

He can only nod as his voice might suddenly break if he uses it.

When he got home, he browsed through his cabinets for wine. Yeah, he has a stocks of wine. Now that he’s suffering a heart break, he regrets that he hadn’t built a mini-bar inside his home. He just wanted to drink!

When he was in the middle of his drinking session, Xiao Zhan called his friends to join him. 

°°°

“Okay, okay!” Xiao Zhan exclaimed after a while. He hiccups and stumbles upon his words, he’s also all-smiley – a proof that he’s already drunk. 

“What are you cheering for?” Ji Li asked, he’s a bit dizzy from drinking but not enough to act crazily.

“I will now talk to Yibo!” Xiao Zhan declared and immediately put out his phone, a wide grin on his lips only for it to fade when Yubin stole his phone away. “What are—”

“You’re gonna talk to him now that you’re drunk? Are you serious?”

“Ah Binbin!” He scratched the back of his head. “I exactly know what to say! If he will finish BJYX off, at least I should tell him my true feelings.” 

“Are you serious?!” Both his friends yelled in chorus.

He nodded lazily. “Yibo needs to know before I lose the chance to tell him.” 

The two of them appeared to be undecided whether they should let him do it or not. Well, apparently they don’t trust his drunk state for confession.

Xiao Zhan waved off his hand “I will do this!” And without further ado he dialed Wang Yibo’s number.

°°°

“Good morning dum-dum.”

It was Yubin’s mouth that greeted Xiao Zhan when he woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache. 

As the pampered friend he was, Ji Li and Yubin already prepared a breakfast for him. Well, his friends have always been the best in this world.

“I know I’m dumb, you don’t have to remind me.” Xiao Zhan replied with a scrunched nose. He was drunk last night but he can remember the bits of what happened. He can even remember the embarrassing confession.

“You should check on Yibo. I bet he hadn’t got a wink of sleep with your dilemma.” Ji Li seconded.

Xiao Zhan pouted and poked a sausage with his fork, he took a big bite and rolled eyes on the two. “I’m scared.”

“If Zhuocheng is here, he would’ve shoved that fork down your throat already.” Yubin chuckled in sarcasm. “You were too high on a horse telling us you’ll do it but you only said an ‘I love you’ before you chickened out and turned off your phone. And now that you’re thinking straight, you’d say you’re scared?”

Xiao Zhan just wanted to lock himself inside the house. He does stupid things whenever he has alcohol in his system. Just last time, it was because he was drunk and clingy with Yibo that they got into a scandal. And last night, he was intoxicated and shameless that he clumsily spilled his true feelings.

“He had a missed call but there’s no message from him. Maybe he’s—he’s weirded out by me. That’s fine, I don’t think I can talk to him today.”

Xiao Zhan’s schedule for today is whole day in the practice room. He was invited in a music festival and he needed to practice his dancing skills.

“Or maybe he’d just show up out of the blue with chocolates and flowers in hand.” Ji Li’s eye brows wriggled in a teasing way.

“Yeah." Yubin smiles like a derp. "So, you should prepare yourself because you might get a confession today as well.”

Xiao Zhan cupped his own cheeks and pouted. “Don’t make me hope.”

“Ah~ really Zhan!” Yubin slapped his elbow across the table. “Things like breaking your heart or being loved in return is inevitable now that you told him your feelings. This is all part of falling in love.”

“So what will I do?” He asked, like he was drained of energy.

“Let everything flow on their own course but be true and stick to your own feelings. If Yibo asked you once again, tell him the truth. That way, you know, you’ve done what you can to save your relationship."

“A-And if he rejects me?”

His two friends glanced at each other before Ji Li eyed him. “Then come to us and we will not reject you. Whatever happens, we got your back.”

Xiao Zhan finally smiled. He indeed got the best friends in the world.

°°°

“Ah it’s coming, it’s coming!” Xiao Zhan complained when he’s nearing the hardest part of his dance routine.

He shake off his hands, getting ready for the dance break when—

“Zhan, your dad’s calling.” Meika said her first ever word to Xiao Zhan today. 

Her tone was dead. She’s unbelievably quiet these past few days, and she’s often absent. When he asked if she’s all right, she said yes and retained her silence once again.

Xiao Zhan took the phone he was being offered.

“Dad.”

“Zhan. I’m just checking on you.”

His dad’s voice was cold. He wonders if ever the warmth in his voice will come back or it will stay that way for the rest of his life?

“I heard they got the man.”

“Ah yeah. A guy named Feng Chong.” He smiled a bit. “I cleared my name and—”

“Look, son. You may have cleared your name this time but how sure are you that you’d not get defamed in the future too? As long as you’re on the spotlight—”

“Dad please.” Xiao Zhan sighed. “Be happy for me.”

“How about Yibo?” His father asked after a moment.

What about Yibo? 

“Are you really together or you’re doing this for work?”

Xiao Zhan doesn’t know what is the better answer. Tell him this is for work and he’d say this is what he gets for choosing the celebrity life. Tell him that he truly likes Yibo and he might get disappointed for him liking a boy.

His father has always wanted a grandchild. When he turned 23, his dad started asking him when will he get married.

“I-I’m…” Maybe it’s better for his dad to blame his celebrity status than to get disappointed with his whole being. 

“Dad, I’m dating him for my career, we’re just…” Xiao Zhan sighed, he wanted to beat himself up for being too scared to tell his father his true feelings. “He’s like my little brother.”

“Little brother?!”

Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened and he quickly turned to see Yibo by the door of the practice room but even before he could utter a word, the guy started walking out of there.

Without further thinking, he ended the phone call.

“Yibo! Yibo! Wait!” He shouted but he never listened. “Aish! Meika, if manager comes back, cover up for me okay?” He said without paused, didn’t even bother waiting for the girl’s reply before he ran to chase Yibo.

Yibo was hella mad! He doesn’t even know why, but he feels like he needed to explain.

“Bo-diii!” 

To no avail, Yibo doubled his pace and Xiao Zhan had no choice but to run. He was able to reach for the younger’s arm at the staircase.

“What?!”

Xiao Zhan was taken aback by Yibo’s outrage. He not only raised voice at him, he was also looking at him with disgust and irritation.

“What more do you want, Xiao Zhan?! You’re really heartless, aren’t you?”

“Eh?”

“Little brother? Why don’t we just finish this off? Why don’t we just break up?”

Xiao Zhan felt the hot tears in his eyes. “Yibo—please don’t… I-I need you.”

“Need me? For what? For your career?” Yibo scoffed. “Tell me, when you said ‘I love you’ last night, was it because you were scared to finish this off? Was it because your company told you so? That you decided that you’d just play me by your hands so that you can continue benefiting from this faux relationship? Or you meant to say you love me as a little brother?!”

Xiao Zhan clenched his fists. “Listen, Yibo. I-I was drunk and—and not in my right mind. But believe me, I never wanted to use you, I was scared for my career. Our agency confirmed it without consulting us, to go against my own company’s wishes—it could ruin me. I’m sorry if you think that I was just using you but last night—"

“But what?! What do you mean last night? Was it just another desperate attempt because you think I wasn’t liking this whole pretense thing anymore? You stoop that low of faking your feelings to not let go of me.”

“I-I…” Xiao Zhan gulped. He likes him. He loves him. He never intended to use him if only things aren't this way. 

“Ah!” Yibo shook his head, mistaking his silence. “You know why I agreed to do this whole damn thing? It wasn’t because of publicity or because I was scared of my career.” His eyes were raging with fury. “It wasn’t just because I decided to play the hero and took pity on you. I could deny everything, I could just tell the truth! But I chose to do this. I chose you! Before the scandal I was offered a new project with Kei, someone who liked me since then!”

Yibo panted, his chest quickly rise and fall.

“Before you even came, people already linked us together. It could have been her I’m doing fan service with! We had so many fans together but I turned the offer down because I was afraid you’d gain hates if people were to ship us once again. I turned it down because I thought, I should focus more on you before committing myself into a love team again. I let the opportunity past, thinking that I’d have another chance for that but I only have limited time to hold onto you.”

Xiao Zhan felt a bomb was dropped in front of him. What does Yibo mean by that? It makes his chest twitch, as if his heart knew what the younger meant but his negative brain refuses what his heart says. It refuses the thought that Yibo loves him back.

“I chose you, Xiao Zhan! I wanted to choose you! I have always wanted to!”

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” Yibo laughed mockingly. “Wake up, Xiao Zhan! What do I mean? What do I even mean?” He lashed out before yanking his arm away from him. “Let’s stop this lie.”

"Yibo—”

“We can just say that it was because of busy schedules. But if the press becomes too nosy, let’s just say I initiated the split.”

Yibo stormed off after that, leaving Xiao Zhan standing by the staircase, all alone. Tears, rolling down his face.

Yibo just ended BJYX. But he still wants to protect him.

The one who left gets more hate than the one who didn’t. Why would he shoulder that? Is it because Yibo still cares for him? Or because he knows he’s too big of a star that a simple break up issue wouldn’t taint his career?

He looks down, Yibo’s words lingered in his mind.

Or maybe it was because, even when he’s just a problematic rising star, "Yibo likes me back?" He sobbed. "Do you like me back, Yibo?”

He should have asked those words before the younger left. Should’ve admitted his feelings before Yibo walked away. Now, he couldn’t reach Wang Yibo again, maybe Xiao Zhan hasn’t tried his best at all.

Once again, he told a lie because he was afraid.

He’s such a coward.

These past few weeks, he was too happy with the relationship, he felt like he could reach the stars but the price for it was too painful to face.

This is the hefty price for faking a relationship, for lying to millions of people… his heart was broken really bad.

°°°

Xiao Zhan bitterly reads the headline of an article he just saw on SNS.

**Bo Jun Yi Xiao sinks.**

It’s not even a week yet – it’s only been three days – after the split and the media knows about it already. 

Who could’ve tipped them? 

But this question doesn’t seem important for Xiao Zhan as of now. He’s mind is busy blaming his poor self. This is all his fault.

His bad luck keeps on coming one after another. The only good thing he had these past few days is that he had cleared his name regarding the car accident and the perpetrator has been found. The police investigation pointed that it was really that Feng Chong.

Just a week ago, the news is about the accident, and this week, it’s about BJYX.

Their supporters are out on SNS, comforting and consoling one another because their ship ‘isn’t sailing’ anymore. For their break up to hurt so many people and inflict pain on them like this, just how much are they loved? 

It appears, they are deeply loved and Xiao Zhan thinks he’s the worst person on Earth for lying to them and making them believe that everything was real.

He’s a fuckery of a person.

“Don’t delve on SNS any longer, it’ll just make your mood worse.” Zhuocheng jabbed his side.

Yeah, he came back two days ago. Xiao Zhan is in his house because it’s the guy's birthday today.

He felt like the worst friend. He's celebrating with them but the ending, even birthday boy Zhuocheng needed to comfort him about the break up.

“My best friend doesn’t look too good these past few days as well.” Yuchen speaks up. He’s invited since he's Zhuocheng’s friend.

“Yibo had completely thrown himself into work. The best thing to do is to talk to each other. It’s the only way for things to have a proper solution.” Then he sighed. “Love is complex. It will hurt one way or another but as long as you have the chance to show and tell Yibo what you feel, then show it.”

“A-Cheng! A-Zhan!” Their talk was interrupted by Xuan Lu – Zhuocheng’s older cousin, rushing to them, eyes big and twinkling.

“Shijie!” Both of them rose up and shouted in excitement. 

“D*mn.” Yuchen cursed under his breath, he meant for it to be heard only by himself but it reached their ears. “Ah I—I just…”

“Yuchen?” Xuan Lu’s eyes turned cold. “Is it really you?”

“Ah yeah.” The man rose from his seat, squirming uncomfortably. He rubbed his nape. “Uhh… Nice to see you again, Lulu.”

“You know each other?!” Zhuocheng gasped, he slipped in between his cousin and Yuchen. “How did you—”

“Ah. He was—He was my friend. Back in high school.” Xuan Lu followed it with an awkward laugh.

Xiao Zhan and Zhuocheng glanced at each other. By the way they act, it doesn’t look like what they had was just ‘friendship’.

“Ah hahahah!” Xuan Lu laughed after a while. “Anyway, A-Cheng! I have a present for you~ wait for me here!” She hurriedly went outside the house and when she came back, she’s tugging a frowning Ziyi on the wrist, the girl is wearing a big red bowknot on her head. 

Other than being cousins of Zhuocheng and Yubin, Xuan Lu and Meng Ziyi are also friends.

“This is your present.” Xuan Lu’s smile was bright as she pushes Ziyi to the front. “Do you know how hard I pursued her just to wear this big ribbon?”

“You’re overdoing it, Shijie!” Zhuocheng whined. “I-It’s not like I—”

“Shut up and just talk to her already. I’m sure once Ji Li and Yubin showed up, you won’t be able to talk to her anymore without being teased!”

After leading the two on the couch, Xuan Lu was off to socialize with other visitors.

Yuchen and Xiao Zhan were left with each other since Ji Li and Yubin haven't arrived yet.

“You sure, you guys are just friends?” Xiao Zhan opened the topic before drinking his alcohol.

“No.” Yuchen said truthfully. “Back in high school, I wouldn’t call her as a friend. Lulu’s too nice but she’s also too stubborn. It’s not evident on her gentle features but she’s like that girl who tails her crush around and brings mischief. She really annoyed the hell out of me.”

If only Zhuocheng hears him, Yuchen would’ve come home with a bruise on his one eye.

“But one day, she stopped following me around and I really hated it. I realized, I liked her as well. Although what can I do? She doesn’t like me anymore.” Yuchen sighed and glanced at the girl across the room. “This is why I’m saying that you should tell Yibo your true feelings before it becomes too late. What if you had a chance but you let it go away?”

“You’re his best friend.” Xiao Zhan huffed, pouting like a kid “Do you think I have a chance on him?”

“I don’t know, Xiao Zhan. But if it’s Yibo who’s with me today, I'd tell him the same thing I told you. About confessing your real feelings.”

Xiao Zhan tilted his head. “B-By any means, are you saying that he has something to confess to me?”

“Uhh…” Yuchen avoided his gaze, he swallowed before replying. “All I’m saying is, if only there is something to confess. Then one should confess. B-But about Yibo’s feelings towards you, you should ask him by yourself. It’s not my story to tell.”

Yuchen saw how Xiao Zhan's shoulders slumped down. He knew how hard it is to confess.

He sighed.

“The only thing I can assure you is that Yibo cares for you and he wouldn't want to hurt you. If it’s because of love or friendship, then he’s the one who should answer that.”

Xiao Zhan nodded like a crestfallen child.

An hour behind the mini bar and Xiao Zhan is already intoxicated.

“Xiao Zhan, enough of the drinks. You’d get a terrible headache tomorrow.” Yuchen reminded. Unlike the other, he drinks slowly and moderately.

“Tss fine. I don’t have *yawn* schedule for tomorrow anyway.” He followed it with a chuckle.

Yuchen’s eyes widened when Xiao Zhan suddenly rose up from his seat. He was swaying as he walks so he hasn’t got any choice but to guide him.

“I’m going home.”

“Now? Maybe you can sleep here.”

“No, my driver is waiting outside. I’m going.” Xiao Zhan answered, his smile is unfaltering.

They came across the newly-arrived Yubin and Ji Li at the gates.

“Zhan! Shit! We just arrived and you’re going already?” Yubin exclaimed.

“He’s also wasted as well geez—” Ji Li scratched his head. “Are you driving him home?” He turned to Yuchen.

“Ah no. He said, his driver is outside so I’m seeing him out.”

Xiao Zhan pouted at his two friends and started patting their cheeks. “I’m sorry, Bin Bin, A-Li. Zhan Zhan needs to go. I will spend time with you next time.”

What home? Of course, he's not going home yet! He said a lie, now he must admit to the truth.

“Xiao Zhan, we’re going home now?” The driver asked when he entered the car, his head leaning onto the window.

“Ahh Yan-ge.” He scratched his cheek. “Yibo.”

“Huh?”

“Go. Yibo. Go. Gooo.” Then he started squirming. “Please, Yan-ge.”

“But—”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“In this state of yours?”

Xiao Zhan eagerly nodded. His Yan-ge sighed. 

°°°

“Think of this as your own home.” Carman gestured the living room of her house. “I want you to be comfortable here.”

The woman named, Feng Rong Zhen nodded, her gaze was on the floor, afraid to look at Carman Lee.

“In return for your help, I will do everything that I can to help your husband and to keep your family safe. You are doing the right thing Mrs. Feng.”

\- RING -

She was interrupted by the loud ringing of her phone.

“Excuse me.” She said and the woman just nodded once again.

Carman took her phone and saw it was Xiao Zhan’s driver.

“Yan-ge? Is everything alright?”

“Uhh… Manager Lee, everything is alright but—” There was hesitation in his voice. “Zhan-di, he—”

“What is it?”

“We’re at Yibo’s house.” He finally said. “I said I’d just wait for him outside but he hadn’t get back so I checked on him but… Xiao Zhan fell asleep on the sofa. I don’t know if I should just let him sleep here or take him home.”

Carman closed her eyes and sigh. That kid! What is he even doing? He said he’s gonna spend the night at Zhuocheng’s place but now he’s at Yibo’s? Did they suddenly become okay?

“He’s drunk, Manager.” Yan-ge added.

 _Ah that’s why!_ “Why does he have to do stupid things when he’s drunk? Stupid Zhan Zhan." She clenched her fists.

Yan-ge's soft chuckle can be heard on the other line. “He asked—actually he begged me to take him to Yibo’s place. I think he’s afraid to talk to Yibo when he’s sober. Zhan-di likes the boy, I guess.”

Carman sighed. Love sucks sometimes.

“Okay, okay. I’ll pick him up by myself, you can head home now.”

“Okay Miss Lee, thank you.”

“Thank you as well, Yan-ge.”

When the call ended, Carman quickly gathered her car keys and wallet. She glanced at Feng Rong Zhen.

“I’m sorry, I have to head out for a while. If you need something, Annie is here.” She gestured at her assistant. Make yourself at home and please don’t worry too much. I have my securities in the other room.”

“Thank you Miss Lee.” The woman bowed at her.

She smiled a bit and headed for the door. That kid Xiao Zhan needs a nice beating!


	13. Yibo's Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To better understand Yibo, here's his side of story. This includes their encounters before the dating scandal and some portions of the already written chapters in Yibo's perspective.

**Special Chapter : Yibo's Side of The Story**

As a celebrity, Yibo is passionate and a hard worker. No matter how hard a job is, once he committed to it, he will definitely do his best. He hogs things he loves and makes a masterpiece out of them, be it acting, dancing, singing, racing, or even hosting.

But still, Yibo is a human. Too much responsibilities won’t do him any good. It’s true that celebs can lose their empathy and passion with gruesome workloads. 

He already have a running variety show, countless of commercial shoots in his hand and a movie filming he needed to finish but he was asked to be a mentor of another amateur contest – I-Fire. It could have been okay, however he promised himself to have a one-week vacation before summer ends.

So he took it down and went on his long-awaited vacation. But after he came back, another offer regarding the show was sent to him. They wanted him to be a guest judge. Originally that offer was for Kei, but the girl backed out on the last minute. To stand by their words, Congming sent him to be a guest judge for five episodes – 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11.

Although he wasn’t letting it show, Yibo was in a bad mood as he’s still lazy to get back on track and scrutinize people on how to dance or sing well. But when contestant #8 introduced himself, his annoyance towards the world seemed to flew out of his brain. 

“My name is Xiao Zhan.” Contestant #8 said, he beams and showed everyone his cute buck teeth. “Please watch me as I do my best.” He winked and shoot arrows with his fingers and Yibo wondered how an invisible arrow struck him like that?

Some girls started screaming, they must have been captivated as well. 

Yibo notices how attentive Xiao Zhan is when it comes to other contenders, he often helps them, often cheers for them even when sometimes, the others forget to do the same. But the trainee doesn’t look too confident with his own self, and it shows, it reflects. He has a low self esteem. He often cries, often thinks no one likes him. 

Xiao Zhan is full of love, yet he was blind to love. It was true that he wasn’t the favorite yet he won’t make it for over ten episodes if no one likes him. 

Even Yibo likes him.

But Yibo was just a judge, not an audience. Even when Contestant #8 makes him feel giddy, he must give scores according to what he see, according to the criteria and to the standards that they seek. So, even if he wanted to choose him, to be biased, and to always give him the highest points – he can’t just do that.

Xiao Zhan is good, but he needs more practice. However, based on his own unbiased judgment, Xiao Zhan should’ve at least made it to top five. Yet the show was flawed. The other judges and even the producers favored other trainees just because of connections.

On the eleventh episode, contestant #8 was eliminated.

Yibo secretly followed that trainee who instead of crying on the backstage, made his way out of the building and cried by himself. 

What he heard then was a thank you from between his sobs. A thank you that when he left the parking lot painted a smile on his lips. He felt good about himself.

Maybe it was sympathy, he thought. That’s why he cares for him.

During the competition show whenever the judges and staffs talk within themselves, he often heard that Xiao Zhan looks good but he’s too old to start, too old for fame. 

They said he’s good but he hasn’t got any special attitude that will make people drawn to him. He wasn’t the cutesy type to coax, wasn’t the childish one for fans to call cute and funny. For them, Xiao Zhan is simply too kind and plain. For Yibo, he was the sunshine of the show.

°°°

“Unscathed ancient creature. Someone who looks ethereal, who can at least sing and promises eternity with his smile.”

Wu laoshi, the casting director of the film Yibo will star in describes his ideal for the character of the Dafan Mountain Guardian. Yibo silently listens to the casting crew’s discussion.

“We need to get amateur actors, this role isn’t big anyway but it will definitely be remarkable.” 

One of the casting assistants opened the portfolio she carries under her arm and took out a photo. “How about them?” It was a group photo of the I-Fire participants. “Amateur, good looking, can sing and already had their exposure.”

The casting director nodded. Before Wu laoshi could even examine the whole picture, Yibo already raised his finger to point at someone.

“This.” He pointed at the tall one, standing at the farthest corner of the photo. “Contestant #8.”

“Are you—”

“Wu laoshi, I was a guest judge on this. Xiao Zhan is really something else, I tell you.”

“Really?”

Yibo nodded. “See if he’d pass your taste, he still have to undergo audition anyway.”

Wu laoshi stared at him for quite a while before he nodded. “Okay, let’s give the kid a call.”

°°°

Xiao Zhan got the role and Yibo sticks with his indifference, only nodded at him as a sign of acknowledgement the first day he saw him on set. But what no one noticed is that Yibo watches.

Yibo watched how the older stumbles at some lines, watched how a shy grin would paint his lips whenever he makes innocent mistakes. He stares at the mole that sits prettily under his captivating smile.

Wu laoshi looked for ‘a smile that promises eternity’, but what they got is a smile that promises heaven.

Yibo even overheard some staffs started crushing on Xiao Zhan already, more so when the day of costume-fitting came. 

He could have kept his own admiration for Xiao Zhan’s ‘unscathed immortal’ look to himself. But the older’s friend who was always on the set to support Xiao Zhan started presenting the latter in front of them.

“Wang Yibo, how about you?” 

Yibo watched out for his expression when Ji Li turned to him. He didn’t widen his eyes, didn’t curve his lips.

“What do you think of the Dafan Guardian?”

“Uhm—” 

“Does he look good?”

He remained stoic, threw a glance at Xiao Zhan before averting his gaze and nodding.

He doesn’t just look good. Xiao Zhan is beautiful.

More than that, he also improves a lot in acting in a short amount of time. Yibo knew he wasn’t mistaken when he suggested that they get him.

  
Everything was doing quite okay so when he saw Xiao Zhan downhearted one day, he asked his P.A. what happened.

“His role was changed. Our Chairman He’s son wanted Jiao Jiao to take over the Dafan Guardian role. Huang laoshi agreed to it.”

Huang laoshi is the film director.

“Jiao Jiao is a girl.”

“Yeah.” His P.A. pouted and rolled eyes, looks like she doesn’t agree with the decision either. “They changed its gender and not just that! Jiao Jiao isn’t fit for the role. Gosh. What are they even thinking?”

“Are they even serious?” Yibo frowned bitterly. “Why did they even listen to that He Peng? He doesn’t know a thing or two about what’s good for this film.”

“Well, he’s Chairman He’s son.”

If that disrespect was done to Yibo, he could’ve turned his back on the filming and left already.

However when he talked to Xiao Zhan, the older had a point. They are different. He acquired privilege throughout all the years he spent building his name. Yibo is now on the spotlight and everyone wants him while Xiao Zhan is just starting and he needed to fare.

The older holds onto everything with a grateful heart. He reminded Yibo that not everyone started luckily. He reminds him the struggle to be known and appreciated.

Yibo wanted to help him, and the opportunity showed itself on the form of Jiao Jiao’s silly acting. 

Yibo has patience to spare for amateurs like her, but those who get things easily without striving hard for it is an exception. She also demands too much, and acts like the boss of the production.

“Why did you guys even replace Zhan-ge?” He asked when for the nth time, Jiao Jiao forgets her line and tossed the script a staff was handing her somewhere.

“Yibo, Jiao Jiao can do this. Just be patient.” Director Huang said.

“If it’s Zhan-ge, he’d definitely slay that part. Y’all are wasting your time.”

“Yibo. Just one more time.” Director Huang eyed him with worry. “Give her a chance.”

He rolled his eyes. “Huang laoshi, Xiao Zhan was given the role, he auditioned for it and was chosen. You guys must commit to it until the very end unless you have a valid reason to not do so.”

Yibo would’ve nagged longer if only his Manager Zhao didn’t yank him to the corner.

“Yibo!” His eyes were so big and threatening. “Before you tell people what to do, consider the situation first. Huang laoshi is just doing what he was asked to do. Chairman He is this film’s executive producer, of course the staffs will follow his son’s orders.”

“And their stupid decisions will impact the film. Not just that, it will humiliate Zhan-ge. He was certain, it was his role just for it to be stolen away by someone who can’t even act? How disgraceful.”

Zhao Liyu slapped his shoulder. “Why do you even care so much? Are you even close with that—what was his name again? Zhang Xian?”

Yibo huffed, brows furrowed. “His name is Xiao Zhan. Anyway—” He waved off his hands. “Huang laoshi is a wimp.”

“Unlike you, Yibo, he can’t do anything.”

“And I can do something?”

“I guess you can.” Zhao Liyu raised his eye brows and eyed the phone he was holding, as if gesturing for it. “Stop nagging on others. You are the star of Congming, right? Chairman He’s favorite idol. Just try to use your privilege.”

Yibo’s eyes also turned to his phone, an idea popped inside his head.

In all honesty, Zhao Liyu can be both annoying and agreeable.

He sighed. “Fine, privilege? I’ll try how far my privilege could go.”

  
Yibo called Chairman He himself. Thankfully, He Chunfeng asked all the best things for the film even if this means granting Yibo’s wish and Xiao Zhan getting back his role. He even said that it should be done for Yibo to be more comfortable with the filming since he’s the lead—much to his son, He Peng’s anger.

“You really called dad? Be careful, Yibo, I’d be the next head of Congming and I don’t want arrogant bastards like you around my territory.”

It was He Peng’s sore loser threat.

Well, he’s nothing like his dad. He Chunfeng deserved to be respected but his son is a miniscule asshat.

  
“Thank you.” Was Xiao Zhan’s first word when he approached Yibo that afternoon.

“For what?” He asked, faking innocence.

Xiao Zhan rubbed his nape and looked down. “I was able to get my role back.”

“You should do your best and humiliate them for even thinking of replacing you.”

Well, that’s his honest thought. For Yibo, once you already promised a person a role, you should stand by it. It’s professionalism! And Director Huang should learn his lesson.

“Eh?”

“I know the situation calls for it but this could happen to you once again in the future. A celebrity must be humble and polite but you should know when to fight for your right. You just don’t say yes to everything and expect to be respected. If you do that, they’ll only take advantage of you.”

He speaks as he deadlock stares at nothingness. He rarely talks to him and for now, there’s no way he can do it for a longer time. So, to avoid more exposure with him, Yibo delves into his jean pocket for his earphones. 

“Hang tough. Prove that you are worth it. Take care of yourself, Zhan-ge.” He started walking pass by the smiling Xiao Zhan.

He was smiling at him.

At the span of the episodes of I-Fire Xiao Zhan was in, Yibo loves seeing his smile but it was never meant for him. This time though, it was directed to him.

Yibo felt the need to take care of him.

He thought that maybe at first, it was because of sympathy, that’s why he was drawn to Xiao Zhan

But no, he knows that sympathy isn’t the reason for that feeling hasn’t rise up yet when Xiao Zhan introduced himself on I-Fire with a light smile and a wink while shooting love arrows at the audience. The introduction that shook his world.

He doesn’t know how it happened but it was fascination. In this industry, he met so many people but he doesn’t know why it felt different with Xiao Zhan. 

Maybe it was crush – and the sympathy just added to that fire so it became more intense than it was. Yet Yibo never acted upon that feeling, thinking it will go away one day. He just waited.

°°°

Yibo was immersed with reading the sample script a casting director had shown him.

“So, do you like it?” Asked by casting director, Mr. Zhou. He smiles at Yibo then to his Manager Zhao.

He’s being asked to take the lead role for a rom-com film.

“How could he not, director? Yibo likes any work as long as it’s with me.” Kei answered instead. She sassily twirls her hair around her fingers while her smile at Yibo turns coquettish. “You’re gonna do it, aren’t you?”

Yibo sighed. In all those years he has known Kei, he’s already used to her random flirtations. 

“I like the role to be honest. High school dramas and stuffs…” He nodded. “I like the part that I’m also a skater.”

“Yeah, that’s a major reason why you are our first choice.”

Yibo gave Mr. Zhou a little smile. “I’ll think ab—”

\- RING RING –

His speech though was cut off by the ringing of his phone. He took it, thinking that it might be important.

_Yuchen Baichi calling…_

His friend is calling. He last saw him a month ago, when they had a friendly race match. Since he’s busy with his idol career and Yuchen was busy breaking through his musical career, they don’t have time to hang out lately.

Yibo hurriedly bowed at the casting director and excused himself. “I’ll be back in a while. Important call.”

Manager Zhao was asking who it was but without looking back, Yibo scurries out of the discussion room.

“Yuchen, what’s up?” He asked excitedly. 

“Yibo, are you free today? Oh silly me—” Yuchen chuckled on the other line. “Of course you’re always busy. What I mean is, can I disturb you for a few hours?”

“Ah…” He ponders for a moment. “I’m free for tonight but I’m booked tomorrow. I have a shoot at 9 AM.”

He heard Yuchen’s exaggerated sigh over the phone. “Then it means you should be up early.”

“Uh… I guess.”

“What a pity.” Yuchen sighed once more. “You see, I have a new friend and I want to introduce you to him—them, since his friends will also be there.” There was an emphasis on the word ‘friends’.

Yibo rolled his eyes. “Are you trying to get me on a date with one of your new friends’ friend?”

Yuchen cracked into a laughter at his question. “Uhm, yeah sure, if you’re willing.”

“I’m not.”

“Ah Yibo!” Yuchen whined. “I’m just kidding but lemme finish first, I’m sure you’d be the one kneeling before me if you know who is who among Zhuocheng’s friends.”

Zhuocheng must be the name of Yuchen’s new friend.

“And who’s this one that would make me that desperate?”

“Ah you’re too excited!” Yuchen groaned before he sounded cheery once again. “As if I’m talking about anyone else. Of course, who else could it be but Xiao Zhan?”

Xiao Zhan?! Dafan Guardian? Contestant #8 Xiao Zhan?

“So are you go—"

Yuchen wasn’t even finished asking yet but Yibo already prepared an answer.

“What time shall we go? I’ll drive you there and back.”

His answer caused an eruption of laughter on the other line and Yibo had to distance the phone away from his ears or he’d become deaf in such a young age.

“Yay! Love-struck Yibo!” Yuchen teased.

“Turd. You can just be thankful that I’d drive you there and drive your wasted ass back home.”

“And you’re an ingrate! Just be thankful ‘cause you might get yourself a boyfriend after this.”

After the call, Yibo get back to the discussion room and told the casting director to give him a few days to think. He would have said yes to him at this very moment but then they’ll be down to a lot of talk. Yibo just wanted to get home and prepare for the event later. 

For two years, Yibo was able to conceal his feelings, he didn’t act upon it. He supported Xiao Zhan in silence, felt happy whenever he achieves something. For two years, his feelings were stable but Yibo admits he’s worried.

He kept his feelings for years and now that he’d have a chance to talk to Xiao Zhan again, this time outside of their professional career and just through a casual hangout with friends, Yibo fears his feelings will explode. And the affection he secretly garnered and caged inside of him would show.

Yibo did see Xiao Zhan again – this time, drunk and shameless. Unlike two years ago, he’s on the way to be on top but he was frustrated with the lack of freedom. Yibo almost quip his quitting card. ‘You can quit y’know’ But he did not.

For the third time, he heard a thank you. Xiao Zhan’s smile was so wide, too genuine that it even reached his eyes – the kind that tugs his heartstrings. Yibo took his time driving him to the hotel for that smile.

°°°

Yibo was frozen on his spot, on the way to the kitchen to make himself a coffee—he heard his name on TV. He was tangled in an apparent gay dating rumor.

He harshly turned around and jaw almost dropped when he saw the photo on the screen.

**Not Just Friends, Confirmed**

Yuchen was right! He indeed got himself a boyfriend!

  
“Confirmed? Manager Zhao, that’s fucked up. I never confirmed anything.” He complained on his manager over the phpne.

“I know Yibo.” His manager sounded like he’s also panicking. “I tried to reach your publicist but they demanded we get you at Congming at 10 for a discussion. I already canceled all your appointment this morning.

Yibo massaged his temple. “Fine. I’d just take a shower.”

The talk was nonsense, the agency wanted him to accept the dating scandal. He Peng, the now CEO of Congming said something along the lines of ‘revolution, publicity and support’ but Yibo ignored his speech.

He will do what he needs to do, who the fuck wants to fake a relationship? So what if his agency gets mad? He has all the right to speak up for himself no matter how cute Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan dating rumor might sound.

Yibo waited for Xiao Zhan to discuss how they should tell everyone the truth. However he wasn’t expecting that he’d ask for him to pretend dating. 

“Wang Yibo, I know how selfish this would sound but please, help me.” Xiao Zhan reached out for his hands, on the verge of tears. “You don’t have to be nice to me off-cam b-but I really need your help.”

He turned his gaze away. “And on-cam? What are we gonna do? Kiss? Hold hands? What?”

No response.

“Are we going to display affection in front of everyone? Or we’re gonna pretend like we don’t want people to see us and date in public with all those disguise but the original plan is to be spotted? I don’t even get why we have to do this.”

“I-I don’t get it as well.” Xiao Zhan admitted.

He scoffed. “Then why do this?”

To his surprise, the older started sobbing, a hand clasping his arm while the other was covering his eyes.

“I can’t give up my career now, Yibo.”

Would it really ruin him to go against his company’s wishes? Is Lush Zeal that disgraceful?

“D-Do you know how I—” Yibo paused through his sentence and retracted his words. “I like someone.” He said instead. “It’s been so long and my feelings has always been true for that person.” 

**_For you_ **

“How can you expect me to fake something like this?” 

**_When I genuinely like you all these years?_ **

Xiao Zhan bit his lip. “Are you… dating her right now?” 

Her? Yibo wanted to laugh in sarcasm. If Xiao Zhan only knew. It was never a ‘her’ it was always ‘him’. He looks up to the older. **_It has always been you._**

Yibo fixed his gaze on the older. “If we’re going to do this, then let’s just do it with less guilt.”

 _Less guilt your ass, you’re just opportunistic, Yibo._ Said his mind.

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“I mean, we try and date for real.”

Xiao Zhan looks like his spirit flew away from his body, Yibo completely understands. He doesn’t even know how did he manage to say those words without stutter.

After a while, the older looks back at him.

“I swear, you will not regret helping me.”

“The things you’ll do for the sake of career.” Was all he could make before he stormed off the room.

There was pity alright, but it wasn’t just pity that made him agree. Yibo knew it was something else, something he wanted to say but too afraid to do.

He made it sound like their relationship will be a trial out of guilt but the truth was, he was risking his heart – it might break or it might not but he has waited long enough. Yibo decided he’d finally risk it.

He castigated himself knowing that he’s fronting to be mad but also has his own hidden agenda. He wanted this relationship too. But not like this. He wanted the real thing. It’s frustrating.

°°°

Nothing happened after, they kept their silence. Many people voiced out their supports but there are also some who think that this kind of ‘gay love’ shouldn’t be publicized.

Yibo even experienced some staffs taking him as a joke after the scandal. Now that they think he’s gay, some of them thought they acquired the right to discriminate him but of course, Yibo just eyed them with his cold eyes and they are fast to apologize. 

Let people support them or be disgusted, he expected it anyway. But he still deserves respect, he fccking earned it. 

What Yibo wasn’t expecting though was Xiao Zhan visiting him on set. A paper bag in hand.

Almost all of the crew are hyping about Xiao Zhan’s visit, even them thought it was real. He wanted to warm up, smile back, ask if he’s well these past few days but Yibo stayed cold. He hated that Xiao Zhan was doing this for publicity. Visiting him to show off.

“I already ate.” Yibo said. “And yes we are publicly dating but you just can’t barge into my shoots without my consent. The production team, the staffs – everyone talks about us, it makes me uncomfortable.”

Xiao Zhan’s smiled faded. “I’m sorry. D-Don’t worry I won’t… I won’t do this again. Here.” He put the paper bag that contains the cookies he baked atop the dressing table.

“Ah yeah…” The older forced a laugh, it was dry. “I have to get going.” Just that and he started walking away.

Yibo felt a strong remorse for himself. He humiliated him.

“Zhan-ge…” He softly called, wanting to take back his words but Xiao Zhan didn’t stop. 

Yibo sighed and just let it go. 

When he was about to get back on the set, his P.A. came rushing to inform that there were a bunch of reporters outside the building and they are flocking Xiao Zhan. Yibo quickly took off to help him handle them.

Please don’t bother him too much.” He told the reporters. “We are trying our best to meet despite our busy schedules but we also have other commitments we must attend to. Zhan-ge and I will be extremely grateful if you’ll be considerate. This is not the best time for us to do an interview.”

“Ah so you call him Zhan-ge? No other endearment?”

Media loves digging the smallest things. He just answered with a simple smile.

“Yibo, we just want to hear anything from the both of you since you kept your silence after the scandal.” 

“What more do you wanna hear? Our agencies made it clear that we’re dating.” He intertwined their fingers together and showed it off for everyone to see. “Do we still need to say anything?” 

Fans behind the reporters started squealing, Yibo gave off a smirk but it was all because he felt Xiao Zhan’s palm started sweating. Maybe he’s nervous? Or affected?

When some solo fans started making a mess, he tugs at Xiao Zhan’s wrist to the parking lot, securities stride beside them.

“Next time you’re gonna visit my set, make sure no one’s following you. Everyone here is busy yet we needed to take a break just to handle these reporters.”

“Are you mad?” asked the older.

Does he look mad? “I’m—well, what do you expect?”

“You were the one who said we must date for real so I was… I was just being sweet. I’m sorry.”

“We’re now dating but that doesn’t include you forcing yourself to look after me.”

“So, it’s just a label?” 

Yibo doesn’t know why Xiao Zhan was surprised at that.

“What’s the difference between dating for real and dating fakely if for you, being boyfriends is just a label then?” Xiao Zhan’s face twisted. “A-And I’m not forcing myself to look after you. I’m doing this because I want to.” 

What did he say?! “Y-You want to?” 

“Of course. If we’re gonna do this, then let’s go all out. Maybe we can at least enjoy this while it lasts, Yibo.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts?” Yibo whispered, more to himself.

“A-And, since rumors are from insiders as well, we have to look believable in front of the staffs and workmates too, right?” 

His eyes narrowed. “So you want to give them something to talk about?” Yibo’s mind was fast to have ideas. “Then do what you want, and I’ll do whatever I want.” 

Before he can even stop himself, he pulled Xiao Zhan by the chin and placed a soft kiss onto his forehead. Because of their height difference, Yibo even had to tiptoe just to get it done but so what?

“See you, Zhan-ge.” He fought off a smile. 

°°°

Yibo’s getting the hang of this pretend relationship, from interviews to dealing with fans. It’s not that hard. And the smiles he gives whenever people tease him with Xiao Zhan isn’t hard to fake either. 

Maybe those smiles weren’t so fake at all. 

He likes what he’s doing and so, when Xiao Zhan asked for them to have a pledge and be loyal with each other. How could he say no?

“For as long as we are boyfriends, we’ll be loyal to each other, and that we will never look at anyone else.” Xiao Zhan raised his pinky finger. “I’m willing to focus solely on Wang Yibo. So will you promise me the same thing?”

Underneath Yibo’s calm demeanor hides the maelstrom of feelings, a hurricane waiting to happen, a tempest that wanted to be unleashed. And with the next words he’s about to say, Yibo will unlock all of it that he caged within him.

“I’m willing to focus solely on Zhan-ge.” That’s it, a promise where he readily risked his heart. He sealed it with another forehead kiss.

Xiao Zhan should be ready for he will try his best to win his gege’s heart.

°°°

  
Yibo had decided. He let go of the leading role he was being offered by casting director, Mr. Zhou. 

Throughout his years on the show business industry, he was linked with many names yet it was Kei’s he was constantly rumored with. This role he was being offered has the girl as his leading lady. Accepting the job will spark yet another hype between them – dating rumors; fan service; controversy; fan ships.

Being in a relationship shouldn’t be a reason to refuse roles, it’s a part of professionalism. But Yibo thinks it’s best to take a break from love teams for now, much more with Kei or their shipper fans will hate Xiao Zhan even more. 

Also, he has many chances to get another role as a leading man in a romantic movie in the future but he has only one chance with Xiao Zhan – he will make the best out of it. By best, he means no other dating rumors; no other ships; no fan service with other celebrities, only with Xiao Zhan.

°°°

Yibo wanted to throw a fit after the race has finished. He practiced really hard for this season, maybe there’s no way he’d get the first place but he could’ve at least finish the race. On top of that, he has Xiao Zhan. He hyped about this event, he made him watch the game—did he disappoint him?

“I know you put your best effort for this and I don’t know how to cheer you up but… but there’ll be another chance for you. Don’t dwell on it too much.” 

It was Xiao Zhan’s attempt to comfort him.

“That’s a hard thing to do.” He answered honestly.

Future is a hard thing to dictate. Yibo wants his racing career to last long and hopefully he’d have another chance to compete but today is today and he can’t easily accept what happened today and start anticipating the unknown future.

Also, will Xiao Zhan still be there the next time? He was so excited to finally bring a special someone to his game. But this special someone may not be permanent.

“Anyway, I-I wanna apologize.” Xiao Zhan started once again.

He casted him a puzzled look. “Why?”

“You lost the game and on top of that, that idiot even mocked you using your sexuality because they truly believed that you’re—”

 _Gay?_ Well, Yibo has become accustomed with being gay for Xiao Zhan, he won’t get insulted anymore.

“Xiao Zhan.” He stopped him. “There’s nothing wrong in being involved in this kind of relationship. So never apologized. At first, I was worried but never humiliated. I never was ashamed of you—” He stares at the older, his gaze was soft yet intense. “You have to understand that I’m so proud of you, Zhan-ge.”

“I’m so proud of you too, Bo-di.”

With the twinkling of his eyes, with the way he smiles, and how he gently cupped his cheeks, Yibo wanted to believe Xiao Zhan feels the same. Hoping for it will be wishful thinking yet Yibo dwells on that thought.

Hope is all he could hold onto for now.

°°°

Yibo left for Paris that night. He stayed there for a few days before flying to Japan for another event. His phone has been missing. 

“Do any of you already found my phone?” He asked on the third day.

“No, Yibo. Sorry.” His P.A. answered.

“Maybe I should buy a new one.”

“Buy one in China.” Manager Zhao quickly interrupted. "You know, some models of phone don’t fare well with Chinese apps so it’s better to get a phone with a local brand.” 

“Really—but how can I talk to my parents and Zhan-ge? I need to call them.”

“I’ll just write them a message for you. Tell me what do you want to tell them.”

“But I want a video call.”

Zhao Liyu shook a head. “Only a text message can do. I’m doing something with my phone. And…” He paused for a while. “Manager Lee called me earlier, informing me that Xiao Zhan is currently doing method acting. The director of the film wants all disturbance be banned from his thoughts. I-It will only be for a couple of days, Yibo. Don’t sweat it. You wouldn’t want to fall from his manager’s good grace.”

Well, his boyfriend's Manager Lee surely looks intimidating. But Xiao Zhan didn’t inform him he’s filming another movie and that he’s method acting.

“Even just one phone call? I didn’t even know he’s working in a new film. What is it?”

Zhao Liyu scratched his nape. “Ah something like… A dep—a depressed teacher. He shut out all connection to the outside world to perfect his craft. Method acting, I tell you.”

Yibo hoisted an eyebrow. “So every text message I’d send him should be via Manager Lee?”

His manager nodded.

“Fine, fine. If that’s the case then just message her for me." Yibo sighed, dismayed at the fact that he can't talk to his baobei. "Ask her how’s Zhan-ge and when can I call him. Tell her to tell Zhan-ge that I’m doing fine here and that too much method acting can turn bad so he should take care of himself or Bo-di will be mad." He said lazily.

It was on fifth sixth day, he just finished filming a variety show in Japan and was at the lobby of a hotel when he encountered a foreign fan asking how is Xiao Zhan.

“How’s Xiao Zhan? Is he doing okay? I hope he’ll prove his innocence. I’m rooting for you guys, jiayou~!” 

_What innocence?_

_What prove?_

With this, when his manager was busy nagging the others, Yibo stealthily took Liyu’s phone and checked on the latest news about Xiao Zhan. What he saw frustrated him. But Yibo won’t believe the news just yet. 

He realized that maybe his manager just don’t want him to see the news that’s why he was so against with him buying a phone so he won’t be able to contact Xiao Zhan. But why? In the public’s eye, they are boyfriends! 

Yibo was furious, realized that maybe, his phone wasn’t even missing but hidden. He ransacked the bag of his manager and indeed found his phone inside.

“You need to split up.” Was Liyu’s reply when he confronted him.

_Split my ass._

Xiao Zhan left some messages on his phone, asking if he’s okay, asking if he was busy. It breaks his heart. The older must have wanted to confide to him but his attempts remained unanswered. Yibo immediately contacted Xiao Zhan, but his phone was dead.

With this, he contacted Carman Lee instead.

He learned that Xiao Zhan turns off his phone to avoid some journalists who happened to get his phone number from their sources, they were stubbornly calling night and day, asking for a statement.

Yibo also found out the whole truth from Carman. He then started devising a plan using his gremlin intelligence.

Xiao Zhan needs him, he’ll try his best to be there. 

°°°

After catching the suspect, Yibo thought everything would be back to normal. BJYX is back to normal. However, he couldn’t take what he feels anymore. 

Everyone believes Wang Yibo loves Xiao Zhan but the older himself may not know this because he must be thinking he’s just doing this for the sake of being boyfriends. 

By spending time with him, choosing him, worrying about him, he already showed Xiao Zhan that he loves him. What he needs now, is to finally admit it.

Wang Yibo loves Xiao Zhan and he will confess to him! 

“Zhan-ge, I’m thinking about our relationship.” He said one Saturday afternoon, the older just finished his photoshoot.

“Wh-What is it?” Xiao Zhan’s smile looked a bit off.

“I think we should—” Yibo sighed and massage his temple, he couldn’t grasp the perfect word. “Look, Zhan-ge, I’m happy that we gave this relationship a chance and…”

Xiao Zhan nodded, Yibo just looks at the ground.

“I’m glad that I came to know you more but this thing between us. I feel b—”

He wasn’t able to finish the speech as Xiao Zhan suddenly jolts up, looking appalled.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? I—I remember, I have an appointment, I have to go…” He smiled. “Tomorrow, Yibo.”

Then he quickly ran, Yibo hadn't even got the chance to say goodbye.

He sighed when Xiao Zhan’s car vanished from sight.

 _"I’m glad that I came to know you more. But this thing between us, I feel bad because I want the real deal. I want to date you for real. Not for our conscience, not for our career. I want to date you because I love you.”_ It could have been his speech. 

°°°

Of course, with all that is happening, Yibo did hope that Xiao Zhan feels the same. No, actually he believed in it. In every smile he gets, in every lingering stare, Yibo believed the older likes him back. That he could love him back.

“Bo-di! Bo-di! Listen!” By the sound of his voice, Yibo knew the older is intoxicated.

“What is it, Zhan-ge? Are you drunk? Where are you?”

“My house. With friends.” Xiao Zhan huffed over the phone, like he was blowing at nothingness. “Anyway, anyway…”

“Yes, Zhan-ge?” He asked, a little sleepy.

Well you can’t blame Yibo. He’s been restless for days.

“Yibobodiyah~~ I love you.”

I love you? ' _Zhan-ge said—'_ Yibo’s eyes were wide, and he was frozen, heart beats skipping like crazy.

“Xiao Zhan…” His voice was almost soundless. “Wh—”

*Toot toot tooot

Xiao Zhan ended the call before he can even finish!

“He loves me?” He whispered to himself. “He said he loves me?”

Yibo was in the clouds, even made it to the stars – he just received an ‘I love you’ that night. He texted the older, tried to call him but to no avail, there’s not a single reply.

Maybe he was too mortified at his confession so he ended the call as quickly as he can.

Yibo didn’t get dispirited, he’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.

And when tomorrow comes, Yibo went to Lush Zeal in high spirits, smiling at everyone he encountered, humming a song and walking briskly out of excitement.

The door to Xiao Zhan's practice room was opened a little, he could see him talking to someone on the phone between the small gaps. Yibo was about to push the door when he overheard the conversation that crushed his excitement in an instant. 

“Dad, I’m dating him for my career.” Xiao Zhan said. “We’re just—He’s like my little brother.”

“Little brother?” Yibo voiced out. The fckk? And was it what he meant last night as well? ‘I love you’ but he was too drunk to add the term ‘little brother’?

Yibo ran, Xiao Zhan chasing him. He doesn't know whether he should cry or laugh at himself. In everything they’ve been through, he was the only one who was naïve enough to fall.

But a portion of his mind that follows his heart wanted to hope that Xiao Zhan was lying. That maybe he’s not coming to terms with his feelings yet but the truth is he loves him back. Because Yibo felt it. Yibo felt that everything Xiao Zhan did for him was out of genuine care.

However, whatever is the truth, he needs to hear it from Xiao Zhan. 

“Bo-di!” The older was able to catch up to him on the stairs.

“What?! What more do you want Xiao Zhan? You’re really heartless aren’t you?”

“Eh?”

“Little brother? Why don’t we just finish this off? Why don’t we just break up?”

Xiao Zhan’s tears started rolling down his face. “Yibo—please don’t… I-I need you.”

Oh, of course! They started this whole d-mn thing because of benefits. Of course, Xiao Zhan just needed him! He carelessly said I love you but what does it really mean?!

“Need me? For what? For your career?” He scoffed. “Tell me, when you said ‘I love you’ last night, was it because you were scared to finish this off? Was it because your company told you so? That you decided that you’d just play me by your hands so that you can continue benefiting from this faux relationship? Or you meant to say you love me as a little brother?!”

“Listen Yibo. I-I was drunk and—and not in my right mind. But believe me, I never wanted to use you. I was scared for my career. Our agency confirmed it without consulting us, to go against my own company’s wishes—it could ruin me. I’m sorry if you think that I was just using you but last night—”

Xiao Zhan couldn’t seem to find his words. 

“But what?!” Yibo felt the anger within him swelled. “What do you mean last night? Was it just another desperate attempt because you think I wasn’t liking this whole pretense thing anymore? You stoop that low of faking your feelings to not let go of me.”

“I—" 

“Ah!” Yibo cut off. “You know why I agreed to do this whole d-mn thing? It wasn’t because of publicity or because I was scared of my career. It wasn’t just because I decided to play the hero and took pity on you." He pointed at him accusingly. "I could deny everything, I could just tell the truth! But I chose to do this. I chose you! Before the scandal I was offered a new project with Kei, someone who liked me since then!”

Kei who was constantly shipped with him before BJYX.

“Before you even came, people already linked us together. It could have been her I’m doing fan service with! We had so many fans together but I turned the offer down because I was afraid you’d gain hates if people were to ship us once again. I turned it down because I thought, I should focus more on you before committing myself into a love team again. I let the opportunity past, thinking that I’d have another chance for that but I only have limited time to hold onto you.”

Yibo is aware that this is similar to a confession. However, this is not the confession that he dreamed of having.

“I chose you, Xiao Zhan! I wanted to choose you! I have always wanted to!”

From the very start, until now that he's heart is breaking, he still wants to choose him.

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” He laughed in sarcasm. “Wake up, Xiao Zhan! What do I mean? What do I even mean?” He yanked his arm from the older’s hold. “Let’s stop this lie.”

“Yibo—”

“We can just say that it was because of busy schedules. But if the press becomes too nosy, let’s just say I initiated the split.” 

Yes, because Yibo can withstand the blames, Xiao Zhan is just a scaredy cat anyway. He can’t even stand for himself against Lush Zeal, what more when it comes to their soon-to-be brokenhearted fans?

He just ended Bo Jun Yi Xiao, and it fckking hurts. Those who support them will get downhearted by that news. In his years of being an idol, Yibo came to understand the feelings of the fans. He knew how a simple dating issue – although they support it – can make them cry and a break up scandal of two people they ship will beat them for days.

Just like them, Yibo thinks he'd be emotionally down for days. If not, weeks. Two years of affection, two months of relationship—would it be easy to move on?

They were happy together but their karma for lying has gotten back to him. His heart was broken really bad.


	14. Threats

“Zh-Zhan-ge…”

“Yibooo! Yibooo!” Xiao Zhan chanted when Yibo finally opened the door.

Yibo’s mouth was slightly agape and his eyes were round. He's obviously not expecting him.

“What are you doing… here?” Yibo’s tone gradually slows down then he turned to Xiao Zhan’s driver. “Yan-ge?”

“I’m sorry, Yibo. He’s drunk.” The middle-aged man gave him an apologetic smile. “He begged me to drive him here. I’d just—” The driver scratched his head. “I’d wait outside.”

Yan-ge turned to leave just as Xiao Zhan threw himself to him.

“Yibo, Yibo, Yibo!” He just kept on calling his name like a child in tantrums, his eyes were teary and red. 

Xiao Zhan is taller than Yibo but since he got his knees bended while hanging on the guy’s neck, he was about the height of his chin. 

“Bo-di is cute.” Xiao Zhan nodded as if he agrees to his own words. “Bo-di. Cute. Yibo. Still mine?”

Yibo’s stomach churned with that question. His Zhan-ge’s eyes are staring at him, big and innocent. It’s as if enchanting him to say _‘Yes, I am.'_

Xiao Zhan’s arms left his neck but his hands traveled to his face, the older started pinching his cheeks and stretching them out like a rubber band.  
  
“Zhan-ge!” He whined but to no avail the older just giggled, like a baby getting tickled. 

“Ha-nehh~ Yibo, don’t hate me. Okay?” He patted his cheeks. Please, say that you don’t hate me!"

Yibo sighed, he held Xiao Zhan by the shoulders and put a distance between them. Damn! Just by looking at his flushed face, he really is drunk but why is he still this beautiful?

“Aish Yibo!” Xiao Zhan broke loose from his hold and pulled him into a tight embrace, his nose nuzzling onto the crook of his neck and Yibo’s spine shivered.

“Ge… fxck.” He cussed when he felt Xiao Zhan’s moist lips against the skin of his neck.

The older just kissed him on the neck! What the heck is he doing? It gave him goosebumps all over his body.

“Bo-di, still hate me?” Xiao Zhan asked once again.

Yibo couldn’t do anything anymore, he shook his head and tugged at Xiao Zhan’s wrist. He guided him to sit on the sofa.

Once seated, he took the latter's hand and held onto it. He looks into the older's eyes as if urging him to listen thoroughly to what he's about to say.

“I don’t hate you. I should have, but how can I?"

Xiao Zhan just stared at him, his eyes were red and his lids were drooping, as if he’s just trying his best not to fall asleep.

"We both know that we started dating because our agencies wanted to. If I fall in love during that time, it’s not your fault. I can’t blame you for not liking me back.”

Yibo felt his eyes getting wet but he brushed it off with a chuckle before he caressed the older’s cheek. “Zhan-ge, look at you. You stare at me as if you don’t know anything.” He whined. “I’m avoiding you because I was hurt. I want to make you miss me. I want you to look for me. Yearn for me."

Because maybe that way, Xiao Zhan would realize that he feels something for him—even just a bit.

Yibo felt stupid when a tear fell from his eye. How can he be this emotional when he’s talking to a guy who might probably forget what happens today the next morning?

“Zhan-ge…” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I don’t know if I’m just desperate or hopeless, but even if just a little bit—if you can only like me for a little bit. I will be happy. Let it be whatever you can give.” Because Yibo can foster it, he will tend whatever it is for it to grow. So Xiao Zhan can love him better.

But the only response he got was a smile.

“Do you even understand what I said?”

Xiao Zhan didn’t answer his question, instead the guy smiled wider and wiped his tears away. “Yibo shan’t cry.”

Funny that it was coming from him, when he was the very reason of his tears.

\- RING -

Their talk was interrupted by Yibo’s phone. He sighed and get up, taking the phone to his ear.

“Stay here, Zhan-ge. I’ll be back.” He instructed before answering the call.

It was his manager, he’s been waiting for his call even before Xiao Zhan came. Zhao Liyu had a word with his agency since his contract with Congming will end in two weeks. His agency wanted to sign him again, while there are two other companies that offered him an exclusive contract. But for Yibo, there’s no question there, he’d renew his contract with Congming. They'll have a meeting tomorrow afternoon about this.

They were discussing about this certain agenda when Xiao Zhan started messing up his sofa. There were lots of rustling noises as he shifts and shifts while playing with the throw pillows. Yibo could only sigh and massage his temple as he watches him, while Zhao Liyu talks and talks on the other line.

“Yibo!” Xiao Zhan shouted after a while. It seemed like he got annoyed because he’s still on the phone.

Yibo turned to him and put an index over his lips, gesturing him to be quiet.

“Is there someone in your house?” Manager Zhao asked.

“Ah it’s just—”

“Bo-di, look, look!” Xiao Zhan took the night light on the edge table of his sofa and proudly presented it to him, balancing it using only three fingers!

THREE FINGERS!

And it looks like it will fall anytime.

“Ge—” Still holding the phone, he hurriedly run to the older’s side. He yanked the night light away and sigh. “Not that one.”

“But—”

“Xiao Zhan.” Yibo sounds like a lenient dad who's kindly asking his son to stop making troubles. "That's off limits."

Xiao Zhan’s face turned sour, he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes afterwards.

“Just behave there, okay?”

His Zhan-ge just harrumphed. Yibo let out a light chuckle before getting back on the phone.

“Manager Zhao.”

“Is it Xiao Zhan?” His manager’s voice was dead serious. “Are you back together? Why are you talking like he’s a kid—is he drunk?”

Yibo doesn't know what question should he answer first.

“Ah—”

“Are you back together?”

He sighed. “No, we’re not."

“Then what is he doing there?”

Yibo rubbed his nape. What should he say? He’s drunk and throwing things on his living room?

“Uh like—we’re hanging out. W-We’ve gotten really close in two months and became good friends.” Yibo nodded. That’s the best alibi he can make. “Good friends do hang out.”

“Hang out my ass. I know you aren’t dumb as to hang out with him just a few days after a break up. Even real former couples needed time before they can talk to each other again! If someone sees you together, what should we say then?”

Yibo frowned. Aren’t they good with that? Making statements without consulting him? 

“Relax. We’re inside my condo unit.”

“And that makes you invisible? On the way going there and out, someone will definitely see.” He heard Zhao Liyu heaved a deep sigh. “Don’t lie to me, Yibo. You’re not hanging out, you can’t be that good after a break up.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because you involved your feelings. I know you did like him afterall."

Yibo hissed.

  
The call lasted for almost ten minutes and what Xiao Zhan did during those times was to be jumpy, he kept saying Yibo is handsome and he can’t talk to him anymore or he might cry.

After his tantrums, Xiao Zhan fell asleep on his sofa and his driver, Yan-ge couldn’t decide whether he should leave the man in his home.

“You can go home now, Yan-ge. I’ll just drop him off tomorrow.”

“But it’s my job to take him home. I don’t want to disturb you, Yibo. I know how busy you are.” Then the driver gave him an awkward smile. “Not to mention, the two of you just got separated. If someone sees you together, it will be a big news.”

Yibo sighed. Surely, it will be another issue. 

“But you can’t carry him to the car, right?”

At times like this, Yibo cusses the place he lives in. His condo unit is situated on the fifth floor so they still have to go through hallways, elevator and lobby before they can even get to the parking lot. Of course, there are CCTV cameras around—and not just cameras, someone will surely notice a drunk man being carried out of the condo building. And more so when said man is a celebrity.

If that happens, it will be a worse scandal.

“I’ll just call, Manager Lee. I should inform her of the situation.” Yan-ge said, and Yibo couldn’t agree more.

°°°

Carman Lee arrived at his doorstep shortly, she brought with her two bodyguards that’ll carry Zhan-ge stealthily to the car. 

“Thanks for taking care of him, Yibo.”

He smiled a bit at the woman. “No need to thank me, Manager. I miss him anyway.”

“I’m glad to see that you don’t hate him.” Carman’s eyes lingered on Xiao Zhan, her eyes were fond. “Zhan Zhan has been missing you a lot too.”

Yibo shrugged his shoulders. “Like a little brother? Like a younger friend?” He tried to hide the bitterness in his voice but he failed.

“No. Have you talked to him? He really missed you…”

“He should tell me that himself but look—" Yibo gestured his Zhan-ge who’s snoring loudly at the sofa. “All he did was pinch my cheeks, call me cute and mess up my sofa. And now that he’s finished throwing things like a child, he’s snoring like there’s no tomorrow. How can I talk to him when he’s like that?”

Carman laughed and patted his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Xiao Zhan was often restrained in front of the camera, but being drunk gives him freedom. Although, whenever he’s drunk, he doesn’t choose the best choice.”

Yibo chuckled. Yeah, he could remember before the scandal, he thought that Xiao Zhan should take care of himself because he acts rashly and clumsy when intoxicated.

After a while, the woman’s smile faded. “Anyway, Yibo, I think I need to tell you something.”

He tilted his head. “What is it manager?”

Carman threw another glance at Xiao Zhan’s sleeping figure before she pointed the balcony. “Can we talk there?”

“O-Of course, Manager Lee.”

By the way Carman Lee sighed, by the way she looks at him, Yibo gets anxious. 

“I should have told the both of you earlier.” Carman started after Yibo closed the door to the balcony. The woman’s eyes are fixated on the distance, her brows furrowed a little. Looks like she’s in deep thoughts.

“But I don’t know how. I don’t seem to know where to start.” She sighed and glanced at him. “I couldn’t protect him against Lush Zeal but—but maybe, I can protect both of you against Congming. It’s too late to say this but I hope I can still set things right.”

Yibo watched as the woman shifts uncomfortably. He can tell that she's worried.

“Manager Lee.” He held her arm. “What’s going on? Protect us against my agency—what do you mean?”

“Yibo, your dating scandal with Xiao Zhan was a plot against you and him. Have you heard about Business Tycoon A?”

His chest tightened at the mention of that alias because why would she mention it out of the blue if that man doesn’t concern them?

It was the man on the news. The one who was accused of tax evasion and human trafficking. It was even said that females under his command used to be sold as prostitutes to other businessmen for sponsorship. The protest for him was everywhere until the fuss about him lulled down.

He nodded slowly, he tried to read Carman’s expression, it may give away her thoughts.

“Manager Lee, how is he…” He swallowed. “How is he connected to us?”

Carman Lee shook a head. "It will be hard for you to believe it, but trust me. What I'm about to say is nothing but the truth."

Yibo didn't budge, didn't even say anything. He just stared at her. It was like the go signal, the woman started talking.

“This is a conservative country so they thought that same-sex celebrity couple will attract too much attention. The dating scandal was planned to be a negative blow from the very start, to deflect the rumors against Business Tycoon A.”

Yibo knew celebrities are often used as a diversion but in their case? He hadn’t think about it!

“But many people went to love you and Xiao Zhan. Congming and Lush Zeal, went to ride with it. The positive feedbacks they get from your fans and the attention can be used every time they needed to deflect scandals. You and Xiao Zhan were used, Yibo. Constantly used." She laughed bitterly. "I should’ve spoken up long before but, silly me, I don’t know how.”

“How—How do you know this?” He asked when he recovered from the shock.

“I wanted to protect Xiao Zhan so, I gathered information as much as I could but in the end, I can’t even do anything about it.”

Yibo was dumbfounded. If that is true, then Congming lied to him big time! His brain refuses to believe it yet everything seemed to click in his mind. However, there’s one question left.

“Manager Lee, then if this is all the truth. Then why us? Why not—Why not anyone else?”

Carman shook a head. “They used others too. Chunhua, Kei, Jiao Jiao but it was yours and Xiao Zhan’s involvement that won the hearts of the people.”

Chunhua, Kei and Jiao Jiao? All of them are his labelmates! Yibo pondered for a moment and realized that there were indeed scandals involving the three girls mentioned as well.

The disappearance of Li Chunhua and the rivalry between Kei and Jiao Jiao.

“Business Tycoon A—” He paused and stared right into her eyes. “He works in Congming? Is it He Peng?”

“It’s his father, He Chunfeng.” She corrected and Yibo felt his spine shivered.

_Chairman He?_

Yibo looks back at the time when he was twelve, a kid with a dream. He was afraid that he’s not enough, that he’s lacking, He Chunfeng – then the CEO – taught him so many things, he believed in him, gave him faith. Yibo was He Chunfeng’s favorite and the old man, aside from his father, is the man he looks up to the most.

He remembers when he was fourteen, Yibo then just started hyping about racing, as a gift for his birthday, Chairman He gave him a scale model motorcycle – the very first in his collection. It was a classic model, a replica of the motorcyle the late Liu Koo used before his death. Said man died before he was even born but he's one of his favorite racers of the 90's.

He Chunfeng was even the one who brought him to Asia Road Racing Championship for the first time. That was when Yibo dreamed that someday, he'd compete in that too.

"It all started small." Carman continued, it cut off his thoughts. "For Lush Zeal’s head, he just wanted to ruin Xiao Zhan’s reputation. For He Peng, he just wanted to taint your name… and more than that, his hidden agenda lies with masking the news."

Carman put a hand over his shoulder that was meant to comfort him but Yibo couldn't even grasp a word.

“I know it’s hard to believe but I want to warn you. The He's were even the ones who orchestrated Xiao Zhan’s accident last time. With the kind of crimes they are in, the public won’t stop digging about it—not until they give them a new scandal to talk about. So, if the news about them cools down, the public might forget and the police won’t be pressured to solve the crime. Chairman He is a billionaire, they can bribe anyone, it’s how they always get away, through bribery, threats and connections."

Carman’s words were like shrapnel, piercing through his head. 

“The news about Business Tycoon A hasn’t dissolved completely. But now, that you guys broke up, they might find someone else to divert the attention away from them. They will buy time, until they get to escape.”

Yibo’s stare remains on mid-air. The tea that Carman Lee served is hard to swallow, his mind can’t completely comprehend how is it possible.

How is it possible that the man he respected for years was not deserving of such high regards? The man who often fronts everyone his gentle smile is hiding monstrosity within him?

Yibo can’t take the pill that while he’s Chairman He’s favorite subject, he’s selling other people like slaves. While he was ignorantly enjoying BJYX, he unknowingly helped them cover up the news. He’s a hard worker, so-called ‘perfect idol’ for being an all-around artist but Yibo felt like he's a huge failure.

“I’m not forcing you to believe me. You can confirm it by yourself. But you are important to Zhan-Zhan, and I’m grateful that you took good care of him for these past two months. As a repayment, I don’t want your name to be dragged down together with your agency.” Carman stared right into his eyes. “You’re a good man, Yibo so don't ever blame yourself."

"But, I—"

Carman shook her head. "There's no but. You are not the bad guy here."

Yibo nodded, he has a sad look on his face. "Thank you, Manager Lee."

There was a little smile that crossed Carman Lee’s lips as her eyes suddenly twinkled in mischief. “Wang Yibo, it’s out of topic but I hope everything will turn out well for you and Zhan-Zhan.”

With what she said, Yibo returned the smile. They share the same thoughts.

After their talk, it didn’t take long before Carman took Xiao Zhan home. Her bodyguards carry his sleeping gege discreetly. It’s a good thing that the woman happened to know the property manager who agreed that they use the passage that is only meant for personnel to avoid attention.

Yibo thought of Manager Lee’s words through and through. She gives an impression of a very intelligent lady, someone who won’t bullshit him with these kind of things.

 _“They He's were even the ones who orchestrated Xiao Zhan’s accident last time.”_ That sentence keeps on echoing inside his head. They even dared to touch Xiao Zhan that way? Physically endangered him? 

Yibo closed his fists, knuckles turning white.

It was the news that caused his ge to suffer miserably. It earned him some real hates and death wishes. An innocent man was even hurt in the process. All for the sake of publicity? Was there a deeper reason? Because Yibo couldn’t comprehend how a single reason of ‘wanting to cover up the news’ became too big of a deal that they started doing destructive things.

°°°

The first thing Yibo did the next morning was to call his Manager Zhao who said he’s currently in the agency and is busy. With this, he drive to Congming with an absolute determination. Today, he’d demand the truth.

One of the discussions room was closed with a ‘Do Not Disturb’ note hanging on its door, and it was the room a staff pointed when he asked him if he saw his manager. With this, he knocked on it.

“Yibo!” Zhao Liyu was shocked to see him. He opened the door just slightly to scold him. “What are you doing here this early? Our meeting’s not until one, we’re having—”

“I don’t care what you’re having. I need the truth.” He adamantly said and pushed the door open. 

Zhao Liyu crossed arms at his stubbornness but Yibo paid him no attention. He roamed his eyes around the room and two other people are here inside—his publicist and PR manager. 

He gave all three a stink eye. “What are you discussing here anyway? Are you planning another conspira—oww!” He shoot glares at his manager when the said man hit him on the head.

“Just tell us why you’re here!” Manager Zhao scolded.

“Fine!” Yibo eyed them with obvious hate. “I need to know why my dating issue with Xiao Zhan was confirmed before I was even asked?”

His Manager gasped in disbelief. “I thought it was something important! Yibo, we already had a talk about this!” 

“No,” He shook his head. “I need to hear that stupid reason you gave me that time.” And he’d curse himself on how stupid he was to not doubt it.

It might be because Yibo once thought that being popular saved him from being thrown away by his own company that’s why he easily believed that they were doing it for his sake. Because he thought, there’s no way they’d put him in a situation where many people will hate him when he’s the biggest star of Congming. But shamefully, he was wrong.

“Because we were—” His publicist hesitated for a while. “We were experimenting. Homosexuality isn’t still widely acceptable but fans of today’s generation has been accepting. Boys’ romance has been getting a lot of attention lately. More and more people appreciate gay ships nowadays, and our Yibo is always ahead of the trend.”

“Trend? You think being gay is a trend?”

“Ah no!” The publicist was fast to retract his words. “I mean, we are testing the market and people do love boys’ romance. Fans buy it, we give it. It’s what the entertainment industry is for.”

“And what if the fans didn’t buy it?”

“But they did!”

“I’m asking if what if they did not?!”

“Chill Yibo! Alibis are easy to make when you hired the best people for it. We have the best celebrity PR firm. If it hadn’t been a hit we could just reason out that BJYX was a promotion of some project we’re making, twist the story, put more people in the story, fabricate lies. As long as you’re a top artist and a great asset to the company, you’ll be protected even if it means the agency shouldering all the blames. In the end it’s easier for your fans to blame the agency rather than you anyway. So what if your fans think so badly of the company, as long as their favorite artist is for us to hold, we have their money to collect.”

“Really? That sounds bullshit.”

“Yibo, language!” Zhao Liyu spat but he only gave him a grin.

“Hah! Manager Zhao, I thought that your main concern is my career that’s why even when there are times that you tell me lies, I tried my best not to hate you. But now, I already know what’s going on. Business Tycoon A, huh?"

Zhao Liyu's eyes widened, he was horrified.

"All of these—” Yibo raised his arms. “All of the things you guys said, are lies, at the end of the day, Congming doesn’t give a fck whether I’m good or not, as long as I’m useful."

“Who told you this?” Zhao Liyu asked, his voice was tainted with fear.

Yibo didn’t answer him, he just scoffed at him. “Well, let me tell you straight. If the meeting you’re having concerns me, then don’t sweat it—I’m not up for another contract."

The three of them gasped, and while they are still trying to recover from the shock, Yibo closed the door with a loud ‘thud’.

He shook his head. He couldn’t believe a single word those idiots have said! In the past, he didn’t ponder on their reasons just because he thought that whatever they say, he won’t follow the path they set for him anyway. He thought he’d dissolve the dating scandal by himself. 

But then, for personal gains, he decided to rode with what the agency wanted – uncaring of whatever reasons they have – and dated Xiao Zhan.

Carman Lee was right. He was used. They were used. Fcking bastards! 

He signed under Congming nine years ago, when he was just thirteen, debuted just a year after. Yibo chose Congming because it is the biggest entertainment company in the country – so-called ‘the best’. He was so proud to be their top star but now, he can only be ashamed.

Chairman He is associated with the dirtiest business circle in the country, a tax evader, and someone with a history of human-trafficking. Yibo couldn’t believe he was the same man he respected for years! His son, He Peng owns various illegal clubs and even hosts secret organization where thousands of men were registered. In this organization, countless illegal videos of females are being uploaded in exchange of a large sum of money. 

These videos include hidden cameras footage, even some female idols from Congming Entertainment were on those videos. Yibo felt like a dumb worthless dunce. His female co-workers, he wasn’t able to protect them. He didn’t know so he wasn’t able to do anything. 

But now that he knew, he should speak up. This thing must stop.

He was cut off from his thoughts when a familiar – but also a very unpleasant face showed up within the area. He clenched his fists. He has to hear the truth from the foul mouth of that bastard.

He quickly slipped himself in between the narrow spaces of the closing elevator doors. He Peng’s face turned sour upon seeing him. He pressed some buttons before eyeing the turd again.

“Wang Yibo. What do you need?”

“What was the real reason behind the company’s statement about my dating issue?” He asked without further ado. “Why was I not consulted? Is it really a risk that could gain me popularity? Or was it because you saw the rumor as a way to divert attention and for people to stop digging about your family’s scandal? Not only that, you hated me since the day I crossed you.”

He Peng hated him since two years ago, when he asked Chairman He to get back Xiao Zhan’s role. He Peng thinks he’s arrogant.

“What a great way to save your ass, huh? Using the person you hated as a diversion and if this scandal would bring me down—you wouldn’t even care.”

He Peng sighed. “If Yibo was attacked, shamed, or humiliated, whoever does that gets cancelled. You’re too untouchable Yibo, but why are you so stupid?” Then he grins annoyingly. “How come that you only just figured it out? I told you when you were being an arrogant mutant ass on my face that I’ll be the next head of this company and I don’t want someone like you looming around my territory. I wanted to kick you out for so long and when the opportunity presented itself? I just had to grab it. Brats like you?” He Peng gave out a mocking chuckle and straightened his suit in an arrogant manner. “You must be taught a lesson. You are just a piece, a pawn yet you act like the real deal however, you were accepted by this hypocrite society. But that’s fine, you’re a good shield anyway. You’ve been a great diversion. I decided to just let nature take its course, you can’t be famous forever anyway. At least, you’re still useful to the company and what’s more? You’re still under my feet. Your fans’ money, can be converted to my money. Win-win situation.”

Yibo gave back a smug grin. “How shameless are you to think that a person as awesome as me would stay under your filthy feet?”

“What? You’re thinking of leaving?" He Peng pointed at him accusingly. "You’ll turn your back to the company that made you who you are today?”

The elevator made a ‘ting’ sound, a sign that it will stop and open soon.

“You turned your back on me first. So, I don’t care. Blacklist me, play your best… I’ll be playing mine.” Yibo glared for the last time before heading out but the scumbag bastard laughed cunningly that it was hard to ignore. 

He stopped amidst the doors, causing it to remain open.

“Ah, you really are fearless Wang Yibo. But don’t forget that you’re not the only one I can play by my hands.” He Peng extended his arm, showing him his palm. “Xiao Zhan is here too.”

Yibo clenched his jaw, his fists curling into a ball.

“The weak ones are always the one in the receiving end. Between you, me and him… who do you think is the weakest?”

That’s it! He just snapped!

Without saying anything else, he quickly grabbed the guy’s collar and pulled him out of the elevator before hauling him onto a wall.

“You will regret involving him.” He muttered. “I swear, you’ll be in the end, receiving all the shits.”

He hauled him onto the wall once more before finally leaving.

_Fucking bastard!_

Yibo knows he should do something. He can’t just stay silent and watch that insolent wimp get away with the law.

°°°

Zhao Liyu was left inside the discussion room, Yibo’s PR manager and Publicist was fast to leave following Yibo’s outrage, they must have been scared shitless. He just keeps on pacing around. Yibo knew what’s fcking up and he’d be doomed! What the heck should he do? He was busy thinking when the door swung open.

“C-CEO He!”

The said man’s face is red as if he’s gonna explode any minute.

“Zhao Liyu!” CEO He launched onto him, he’s fuming mad. “Who is it?!”

“S-Sir, I swear, it wasn’t me.”

“Then who?!”

But before he can even reply, He Peng’s phone started ringing. He hastily put it over his ear.

“What?!” CEO He spat. “Fckk! That woman? She thinks she can get away from me? Hah! Scout the station, make sure that Feng Chong will not get any visit from his family. Death? For now, no. As for that Carman Lee, teach her a lesson.”

Zhao Liyu’s spine shivered at the name mentioned. What’s He Peng’s business with that woman? Did she offend him? And he remembered last night, Yibo was with Xiao Zhan.

Last night, they had a talk and Yibo seems willing to stay in Congming and now, he’s not? 

When the call ended, CEO He eyed him again. This time, his smug grin is back. If only Zhao Liyu can comment on that, he’d say that he looks like a fcked up psychotic.

“Manager Zhao.” The CEO called, now calm. “Don’t worry, now I think I know what’s going. It’s Carman Lee.”

“Sir, what about her?”

He Peng laughed. “That woman impressed me, she’s competing with me heads on, it’s funny to see. Do you know that she evacuated Feng Chong’s family to her house? Must be an attempt to protect them, so she could turn Feng Chong against me.”

Feng Chong is that guy arrested for Xiao Zhan’s car accident recently.

“She’s also the last one to visit Yibo last night, right?”

Zhao Liyu didn’t know what to answer. This man is dangerous. Just a flick of his fingers and he can order death.

“Ah!” He Peng waved a hand after a while. “Even if you don’t answer, I know it anyway. I have my eyes everywhere, Zhao Liyu. After she evacuated Feng Chong’s family, she went to Yibo’s place to pick up Xiao Zhan. They must have discussed something.”

“How do you know this?”

But his question remains unanswered for the CEO just left the room without further ado.

°°°

A week. It’s been a week since Xiao Zhan went to Yibo’s house, drunk and shameless. He could remember some of the things he said to the guy, but he can’t remember if Yibo told him anything important. And since that night, they hadn’t seen each other yet and Xiao Zhan missed him so much.

He can’t even watch any of Yibo’s shows since he has been too busy preparing for the music festival which will occur tonight. He’d be performing for fifteen minutes.

“That’s about it.” Xiao Zhan’s make up artist tilted his head from right to left.

His stylist then get the suit he’s gonna wear during the red carpet and handed it for him to wear. After a few retouch and adjustments, his stylist eyed him from head to toe.

“You’re Asia’s Most Handsome tonight Zhan Zhan. I’m sure everyone will scream for you.”

Xiao Zhan chuckled. “You only say that Jiejie because you picked my suit.”

“You don’t believe me? I’m sure Wang Yibo will regret not coming tonight if he sees you on TV.”

He smiled at that. Yibo was invited but couldn’t come as he has too many prior appointments.

Xiao Zhan turned to his Manager who’s busy with the phone. “Manager Lee, what time are we gonna go to the venue?”

Carman Lee threw him a glance. “Yan-ge is on the way to pick you up.”

“Aren’t you gonna come with me?” 

“I’ll be there.” Carman Lee gave him a reassuring smile. “I just need to do something but I’ll be there.”

Xiao Zhan nodded with a pout. “Ah how about Meika? Will she come with you" He was reminded of the girl. “I last saw her couple of days ago.” Yeah, the day BJYX ended.

Carman seems to become uneasy with his question. “Well, she—” His manager pondered for a moment, and averted her gaze. “She quit. You won’t see her anymore.”

“Quit? But why? Sh-She never said anything to me.” 

Xiao Zhan felt sad, Meika’s an effective P.A., and she’s not like his previous ones who only talk about work. He can freely talk to her about personal things and gossips.

“Don’t worry about it today, Zhan Zhan. You have an event to attend to.”

“Okay. But, I’ll visit her after this one. I feel bad, maybe she has a problem and I didn't even ask her.”

Xiao Zhan started doing his things and Carman only eyed him. How can she tell him that Meika isn’t the girl they thought she is? That the girl can’t be trusted?

°°°

“Miss Lee.” Feng Rong Zhen looks at her apologetically. “I wasn’t able to talk to him.”

Carman Lee was dispirited at this. “Why?”

“The officer said that my husband had a fight with an inmate yesterday and as a punishment, he can’t take visits for a while. I asked when will I get to visit him but they ushered me to leave.”

Carman’s chest was filled with worry. She gets more paranoid with time. What if the police officer was just lying so Feng Chong won’t have a talk with his wife? So, they can’t convince him?

Did He Peng already know about her intervention? Feng Rong Zhen is Feng Chong’s wife. She took the man’s family to her house to assure their safety against the He's threats so she can convince Feng Chong to turn against them and spill the truth.

“I’ll try again,” Feng Rong Zhen gave her a reassuring smile. “In a few days.”

Carman returned her smile. “Please do.” She took her shoulder bag and headed for the door. “I’ll leave for a while, I promised Xiao Zhan I’ll be there.”

Feng Rong Zhen nodded and Carman was about to turn the doorknob when the sound of a flash news from the television gather both of their attention.

_“Breaking News, on the way to Oasis Music Festival, idol-actor, Xiao Zhan’s car has caught an accident.”_

Carman’s head harshly turned to the television upon hearing the news. It was a live footage and—

“Oh God!”

The car was badly damaged! By the looks of it, it was a severe accident.

Carman held onto the doorknob for support when she felt her knees became wobbly.

“Miss Lee.” Feng Rong Zhen rushed to her side and led her to sit on the sofa.

Carman was at loss for a while. She can only afford to stare at the television screen, fear visible in her eyes.

_“The police are citing ‘tire blowout’ as the cause of the incident. The front tire apparently burst causing the car to hit a traffic barrier. This collision resulted with the car spinning and it nearly flipped over. The driver and Xiao Zhan both suffered from cuts due to shattered glasses and were quickly transferred into a hospital. The police are currently investigating whether there was a foul play or none."_

“Zhan-Zhan.” She whispered when she finally recovered from the shock. “I—I have to get there.”

Without further ado, Carman Lee rushed out of the house to get to her car but was shocked her was to see her windshield broken. There was a rock with a note stuck to it, she took it with trembling hands.

_Stop including yourself when you're not even involved. Next time, it will be death. For you and everyone around you._

°°°

He Peng grinned while watching the news of Xiao Zhan's accident. He hasn’t got anything against Carman Lee but that woman kept on involving herself with the deal between him and Louis. She keeps on digging further about his family’s issues—must be because she wanted to help Louis Koo. She was trying to protect the Koo bastard but she must know where she shouldn’t meddle in. 

“Do you know how stupid that move was?!”

He turned to his father, unlike him, he’s not enjoying the news on the television.

“Ah dad! What can they do against us?”

“Over confidence is your biggest enemy, A-Peng.” His father shook a head. “If Carman Lee or Louis Koo speaks up—”

“Dad, I was just playing with them.” He cut the old man off.

“Play all you want but don’t put your stupidity into the game. You are provoking them.”

“Ah that’s threats.” He Peng waved off a hand. “That way, they’d be scared shitless. Now they know better than to drag their asses into our business.”

“And if they won’t be scared shitless? Then you must eliminate the threats before they become bigger.”

He Peng lazily smirked. “Even if your protégé, Yibo is among the threats?”

He Chunfeng looks at him but He Peng didn’t look away even with the intensity of his father’s stare.

“Give him one last chance.”

“And if he won’t yield?”

His father heaved a deep sigh. “Then you know what to do.”


	15. Work of The Wicked

Yibo was on the third day shooting for a show called ‘Traveling China’ in Hebei Province when he heard the news about Xiao Zhan’s accident.

It’s past 1 AM, Yibo was about to head inside his assigned room to rest but amidst the doorway, he was stopped by a hysterical call.

“Wang Yibo!” It was a staff, she looked as if she had seen a ghost. Her face was pale and her eyes were huge.

He turned to her with sleepy eyes. “What’s the matter?”

“The news!” She managed to utter in between pants. “Have you seen the news?”

He just shook a head, a little weirded out. He was busy filming the whole day, with no room to even watch any show. “Is there some—”

“Xiao Zhan!” She cut off firmly.

Yibo’s heart beat quickly escalated. What of him? The only thing he knew is that he was confirmed to attend the Oasis Music Festival which would have ended a few hours ago.

“Xiao Zhan had an accident!”

“Huh?"

_Xiao Zhan had an accident._

_An accident._

_A fucking accident!_

Yibo felt like he was poured down with ice water. “What? But—But he should be in—”

“He wasn’t able to make it to the music festival.”

That means the accident happened even before the event, maybe around early evening, when he was too busy filming.

With a pounding heart, Yibo rushed inside the room to prepare for leaving. His mind went blank in an instant, the only thought he had is that he needs to go. No matter what.

“What—What kind of accident?” He asked as he was stuffing all his belongings to his backpack, uncaring about how unorganized it turned out to be.

“Car crash. The car was badly damaged.”

Yibo hisses. Once he was finished, he wore the bag to his shoulders and headed out of the door.

“Y-Yibo!” The staff called, she’s striding beside him, trying to match his pace. “Where are you going?”

“I need to see Zhan-ge.”

“But—But the production?” She sounded as if she hated to ask but she needed to.

Yibo paused from his track, as if he realized that he’s abandoning a booking – which is not very professional of him. He turned to the staff, his eyes were pleading.

“But Zhan-ge…” He was desperate. “I need to see him.”

The woman’s features softened. “At least tell the production crew.”

He would’ve stayed in Hengshui until tomorrow but with this, the filming was postponed and he can only afford to bow his head a couple of times for apologies. The production crew was more than understanding but Yibo knows that he’s causing them a lot of troubles.

He had always been outstanding, a professional idol who will exert his best effort in all of his commitments but right now, nothing is more important than Xiao Zhan.

Thank God he has a driver because Yibo doesn’t know if he could drive the three-hour ride while trying to remain calm and composed.

°°°

Carman was trembling on her seat, beside him was Xiao Zhan’s father, Jianyu who’s tightly clutching both of her hands. Her eyes were lost, fixated at nothingness and she can’t feel anything, as if she’s numb.

“I—I should’ve been there for him.” She could hear Jianyu’s whispers in agony. He’s regretting all the times he avoided his son just because he never favored the career he chose. “My Zhan Zhan… please God, save my son.” 

Jianyu keeps on whispering a prayer, while Carman’s head has gone blank. She tried to keep her thoughts intact when the doctor talked to them to inform them of the situation. 

She said that Xiao Zhan should stay in ICU, that he already received medication to elevate his blood pressure and IV Fluids for hydration. His CT scan showed that there’s brain swelling and they are still assessing for viable treatments. If no treatments would be effective, he’d be under a drug-induced coma as a last resort once it was deemed that the benefits outweighs the possible risks. This type of treatment is said to allow a patient to recover without much stress and pain. It will also reduce the swelling by letting the brain be at rest with minimum activity. 

His chest CT scan also showed a broken rib, piercing through his lungs – resulting in a condition called Pneumothorax. But since it was less than two centimeters in size, the medical team didn’t require aspiration. Aside from these injuries, he also suffered wounds that needed to be stitched as soon as possible, with the chance of some scars being permanent. 

Just by hearing all the complications this accident caused him makes Carman Lee very angry. She’s certain that the one behind the accident was also the one who sent her a death threat. And she’s also certain that it was either He Peng or He Chunfeng. If they thought that putting Xiao Zhan at risk will scare her off and shut her up then they mistake her for a fucking idiot. 

She’s gonna fight them, heads on – a thing she should have done long ago. Carman somehow blames herself, she failed to protect Xiao Zhan because she was busy protecting Louis as well.

It has been a while since Carman found out the truth behind Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan’s dating scandal – why they were used. She also found out the identity of the man nicknamed “Business Tycoon A”. But because Louis Koo was involved, she couldn’t do anything.

Carman wanted to convince him to turn against Chairman He and his son and join forces with her by submitting the evidence they've gathered to the authorities because if Louis decided to turn his back to them and help solve the case against the He’s then his name and reputation can be saved.

However, Carman realized that she was trying to hog too many responsibilities when all along, she can only protect one. She had always chosen Louis, now it’s time to leave him alone, cut ties with him completely. 

“I’m sorry Jianyu. I thought I could protect Zhan Zhan.” She said after a moment of silence. “But, I can’t. I didn’t do so well.”

“What are you saying?” The man lifted his gaze to her, his eyes were red and swelling.

She gets more guilty the more she looks at him. As if she's also to blame.

“Xiao Zhan’s relationship with Yibo was forced by Louis, he thought that being in a homosexual relationship would be a blow in your son's career but his plans failed when they were accepted by the public.” She confessed. “Louis Koo was busy putting a hole into your son’s reputation that he didn’t even question He Peng’s agenda for wanting Yibo to be in a gay dating scandal. Turns out, He Peng wanted this big news to divert the attention away from his family’s crimes.”

Carman sniffed and wiped her tears away, she’s being eaten by regret.

“Congming already bought a stake in Lush Zeal, they had some business endeavors – they forged some sort of alliance. If He Chunfeng’s crimes will be out to the public, I was scared that people will start assuming that Louis is his accomplice—even more, if it will be revealed that Xiao Zhan and Yibo are not a real couple but a diversion. They might think that Louis knowingly helped Chairman He to draw the media’s attention away from his family's crimes. So, I wanted the truth to come out from his own mouth, so he could at least be spared.”

She paused for a while, just by being reminded of these things sends her to fury. “In the middle of BJYX, Louis lost control of everything. He Peng manipulated the situation, and he was a bit excessive, it’s like he isn’t just doing these things for diversion… it’s as if he’s already doing everything for fun. That loathsome individual.”

Carman looks apologetic as she stares at her friend. “I asked Louis to help me put those assholes behind bars but he—” She shook her head. “He didn’t listen to me. He was scared of Chairman He, scared of going against him. Still, I waited for Louis. I should have not! If I only made a move earlier, then those fuckers should have been put into custody, with no chance of hurting anyone else. Now, they’ve hurt Xiao Zhan. I am partly to blame.”

Carman started sobbing once again. She’s ready to be blamed by Jianyu, but instead, the man held her by the shoulders and started shaking her... as if waking her up. 

“It’s not your fault Carman. I am Zhan’s father but I relied on you so much. I should’ve been the one protecting him. I should be the one asking for your forgiveness. I’m sorry if you were caught in between again.”

Caught in between again? Between Louis and Jianyu? She shook her head. Maybe that’s the best place for her – to always be caught in between.

“Nonsense. This is my choice. As long as I care for Louis, there’s no choice but to get hurt like this.” She offered him a bitter smile. “Jianyu, once Zhan Zhan wakes up, we should start doing everything without regret.”

Jianyu nodded eagerly, his eyes were red. After Xi Feng’s demise, this is the only time Carman saw him cry like this again.

“I’m ashamed of myself.” The man sighed. “When Xi Feng died, I tried my best to be a good father yet when Zhan Zhan didn’t listen to me and pursued a career as a singer, I gave him the cold shoulder. I failed to be a good father.” 

Another batch of tears started rolling down his face and Carman can do nothing but to rub soothing circles onto his back.

“I just wanted to keep him away from the show business industry… away from Louis because I was afraid. I was afraid that he’d do something against my son. I—I was afraid of Louis Koo because I know I was at fault. He was my best friend and I betrayed him. But still, Carman... I and Xi Feng were the ones who wronged him. My son didn’t deserve his wrath.”

Jianyu held her hand and pondered on what to say for a while.

“Carman, I failed as a father! Not only did I give him the cold shoulder, I also couldn’t tell him the truth on why I acted that way. On why I didn’t support his dreams.”

Carman sighed and looked down. Sometimes, people only realize the value of honesty in the moment of regret, pain, and loss.

“It’s not too late yet.” She comforted. “Xiao Zhan will be okay and this time, you will tell him the truth." She gave him a reassuring smile despite her face being drenched with tears. "You will be by his side, we will protect him together.

Jianyu’s eyes lingered at her for a moment before he nodded. “I’m so thankful that we have you, Carman. I can’t ask for a better friend.”

It made the woman chuckle but it was melancholic. “I also want to thank you Jianyu, that you entrusted your son to me. And that I once again felt how to be a mother. I’m happy.” She then pulled her friend into a hug. “But now I’m scared shitless, scared that I might lose a son once again. With all my heart, I pray that everything will turn out fine.”

Jianyu’s sniffle is all he can hear on her right ear. The man was sobbing, she could hear his cries of regrets.

“Carman.” But with that familiar voice from behind, the sound of her heart beat almost drowned the sound of Jianyu’s cries. She hesitantly moved away from her friend and turned to get a glimpse of the newly-arrived.

“L-Lou…” She bit her lip, trying her best to control her emotions. “Louis.”

It’s as if Jianyu only noticed the man now that she mentioned his name for he suddenly rose up and launched at him, grabbing Louis by the collar.

“Are you happy?!” Jianyu’s voice almost echoed throughout the hallway. “My son is right there.” He pointed at the ICU room. “Are you happy now?”

“Am I happy?” Louis shoved Jianyu’s hands away from his collar. “Do I look like I’m fucking happy?”

“If—If you so wanted revenge then… then you should’ve come at me! Why must my son suffer?”

Louis let out a scoff, as if he was done with the drama.

“Jianyu, for two years that Xiao Zhan is in my company, did you even warn him about me? Didn’t you abandon your own son? And now you’re sobbing like you were the victim?! Hah! You’ve always been like this anyway. I shouldn’t be shocked.” Louis’ voice was enraged. His eyes were fiery but then after glancing at the ICU door, his face somehow softened. He frowned and averted his gaze away from them. “I’m sorry.”

Carman and Jianyu both gasped at what they heard. Louis had grown accustomed to being egoistic that a word of apology from him doesn’t sound right.

“I was so mad with all of you, and he’s the one I can think of, that both of you will get affected.” Louis Koo's face was indifferent. He’s not looking at anything in particular, just straight ahead. “I only wanted to ruin his reputation, his career. I-I never wanted to endanger him.”

“But you did.” Carman muttered as soon as Louis ended his speech. Her fists were curled into a ball. She never wanted to blame Louis, never wanted to make him look bad in the eyes of anyone but how long should she fool herself?

“Louis, you started all of this in the first place! You were the one who gave the parking lot photos to Congming and planned to make a big scandal out of it! Xiao Zhan hadn’t got any connection with Chairman He nor his son, yet because of you, he was dragged into their mess! He became an object they could freely use if they wanted to stir the public, draw the attention away from their crimes.”

It feels like she was talking to a wall, she got no response but she still carries on.

“And when you found out the truth about the He’s, what did you do?! You could’ve pulled Xiao Zhan out from the dating issue, could’ve spoken the truth and confessed. You didn’t do anything!”

Carman was raging yet Louis Koo ignored her, he glanced at the ICU door once again. “I’m here to check on him.”

“I don’t want you here.” Jianyu answered almost immediately. “Leave.”

Louis then straightened his back, his gaze lingered at Carman for a few seconds before he turned to leave.

 _Just like that?_ Carman was so mad watching Louis as he walked away. She took a step then paused. _Stop it, Carman._ Her mind orders yet she takes another step, until she’s already running, taking the path Louis took as her tears flowed non-stop.

Carman doesn’t know whatever the fuck was she expecting him to say but she wasn’t contented that Louis will just leave like that.

She managed to catch up with him in the parking lot.

“Louis.” She called when she’s just a foot away from the retreating figure. But the man didn’t stop.

“Louis!” She called again, tried her best to keep the desperate tone out of her voice. This time, the man turned to her..

“Manager Lee.”

“This wasn’t an accident.” She blurts out like a child begging for sympathy. “The He’s wanted me to stop gathering evidence against them. They did this to Zhan. Why does it have to reach this point?!”

Her voice sounded more scandalous than what she intended to. Fortunately, they are the only ones in this part of the lot. 

An eyebrow of Louis perched up. “Reached this point? I told you time and again to stop but you never listened! You involved yourself with Feng Chong and his family!”

“Tell me.” Carman raised up her chin and tried to hold Louis’ stare. “How can I not involve myself? I promised to protect Xiao Zhan! You wanted revenge against his parents so you forced him into a dating scandal! He Peng wanted to divert the news so he played him for a fool! And, I—I was digging further information about He Chunfeng so they put Xiao Zhan at risk just to intimidate me?! What the fuck did he do to deserve this?”

Carman was exasperated, she ran a hand through her hair in an act of frustration.

“Xiao Zhan didn’t do anything wrong yet he’s always the one on the receiving end.” She sobbed, unable to control herself. “I should’ve done something the moment I found out that He Chunfeng and his son were the ones behind Xiao Zhan’s accident at Nightless Avenue! I failed to act on time because I stupidly waited for you!”

She waited for him but to no avail, it was all for nothing!

“Y-You were scared to turn your back on them because they might do something against you. I thought I should help you figure things out and—and that if you will have more than enough evidence against them, then you’d finally do the right thing. Testify and cooperate with the authorities yet you…” Carman wiped her tears away. “Yet even when we have gathered enough proof, you still chose to remain silent.”

Louis Koo was quiet for a moment but then, he lifted his gaze and what Carman saw was once again his proud look. 

“You wanted to help me?” He glowered, breaking his icy demeanor. “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t need your help? That I don’t need you ever again?! I don’t need your pity!"

“Pity?! Yes I fucking pity you!" She shouted back. "But do you really think that it was all I ever felt for you? Louis, I genuinely cared for you!” Carman pointed at him accusingly. “All I ever wanted was to help you fix yourself!”

“Oh, I’m not having this conversation with you.” Louis was about to turn his back but she was fast to hold his arm to keep him in place. 

“No, you listen.” She demanded. “Louis, I tried so hard to help you fix yourself but why do I only got hurt in the end? You were broken and you broke me too!” She knocked hard on her own chest, gesturing herself. “Do you think I had it easy? For years I followed you around, hoping you’d love me back. But in the end, you chose to listen to others’ lies just because you hated Jianyu so much. I realized, it wasn’t about me. It was still about Xi Feng!"

Carman’s voice was now broken. Earlier, she cried out of fear for Xiao Zhan’s life, and now she’s crying again because of this man in front of him… the only man she ever loved. 

She once promised to never shed a tear for him again yet it’s what all she does when it involves Louis Koo.

“You pushed me away. You never loved me! So, stop acting I did you wrong when all I ever did was to understand you. And you know what’s the worst thing you’ve done? You denied your own son! Our son!”

Carman pointed at the hospital building. “In there was Xiao Zhan, and I see him as my own. I already lost our son, I don’t want to lose another one.” Her hold on his arm loosen but her eyes remained fixated on the man’s dark orbs.

This is the only time Louis took a good look at Carman’s demeanor. She looks tired, that her eyes no longer have the spark it had when she was younger. He realized that in all those times they saw each other after nearly two decades, Carman Lee doesn’t smile much. Unlike in the past, she used to radiate his whole word with just one grin.

Did he really wreck her so hard? But how? She was the one who cheated, not him!

“I should’ve made my move when I found out the truth—” Carman continued. “But I waited for you, to sort things out, to make up your mind. I remained quiet, retained my silence because I waited for you to choose the right path! So, if everything was revealed to the public, your name won’t get tarnished! You won’t be labeled as their accomplice! So, you’d be deemed as an aid to the case! I fucking hate myself because after all these years, I still care about you! Even with how much you ruined me! I wanted to protect you and by doing so, I failed to protect Xiao Zhan.” 

Carman sniffed and finally let him go. “I just wanted to protect you, but now I can’t anymore. I’m sorry, Louis… I’m tired.”

Louis was frozen in his place. He just watched as Carman Lee walked away. He might appear unaffected but his world is nearly collapsing. 

Louis clenched his fists and finally looked away. He went inside his car and was about to start the engine when his phone started ringing.

_Annoying asf mfucker calling…_

Oh! Who else could it be? No other than He Peng.

  
“You touched Xiao Zhan yet again!” Was the first thing he said in the fit of rage. “What the heck is wrong with you?! He could’ve died! This, for the sake of—”

“I’m not doing this to cover up the news this time, Louis! What happened to that Xiao kid is a fcking warning!”

Louis could feel that He Peng’s voice was trembling from fury but he hasn’t got a fcking right to be mad! If only that reprobate is in front of him, he could’ve slit his throat right here and now.

“Do you think I am stupid? I have eyes everywhere! That Manager Lee of yours took in Feng Chong’s family to keep them safe. For what? To turn them against me?! And what more? I’m sure she was the one who pushed Yibo to leave the company. What a menace! And what do we do with the likes of her? We fcking kill them!"

Louis’ blood turned cold. It is a threat, a talk of murder. But if Peng will ever touch one hair on Carman Lee, Louis fears that he’d kill him by himself.

“Keep her out of this, He Peng. I’m warning you.”

“Oh, you’re warning me?!” The beast chuckled, hinting sarcasm. “You’re now baring your fangs against us? What could you do, Louis?”

What could he do? Louis doesn’t know. But he can try to be tough, a thing he should’ve done the moment he found out the truth about Chairman He. He could’ve fought with them heads on. It’s true that the He’s are still afraid of the public, that’s why they took every chance they had just to keep the public’s attention away from their family’s issue. 

Carman Lee was right. She has always been right. He just never wanted to admit it because of his pride.

“You endangered Xiao Zhan, twice and now, you’re threatening Carman’s life? Just how fcked up is your mind to think that I’d still shut my mouth and let you do all you want?!” He shouted before ending the call and tossing his phone aside.

He has to do something. It might ruin his name in the process but well, he brought this upon himself. Let people hate him. He has lived his whole life being hated anyway.

°°°

“Wang Yibo, you must take a rest.” Jianyu asked the guy who’s slouching on one of the seats in front of the ICU room. The younger’s hand was on his forehead, covering half of his face.

The kid arrived at four in the morning and hasn’t left the hospital since then but he looks like a wink of sleep will do him good.

“Don’t worry about me Shushu.” Yibo said before yawning.

Jianyu did tell him that he can call him ‘Shushu’ and this kid seems to be liking it anyway. He took the seat beside the younger and put a hand over his shoulder.

“I heard you were calling someone a while ago. You wanted to cancel your appointments?”

His filming for Traveling China would’ve ended a while ago, and that should’ve been the only time he’d return here in Beijing. His next booking is an hour from now but Yibo called his P.A. to cancel all his appointments.

Yibo’s hand finally left his face to glance at him. Jianyu noticed that his eye bags were indeed visible!

“Shushu, I just want to be here once Zhan-ge wakes up. I—I don’t think I’d be able to work properly while he’s still inside.” Yibo gestures the ICU room. “I need to assure that he’s already safe before I can start working again.”

A fond smile graced upon Jianyu’s lips. “Even when your relationship was said to be fake, I’m happy to see that you genuinely care for my son, Yibo.”

Yibo could only gave the man a smile because this topic makes him shy. Their dating was fake but the feelings he felt certainly weren’t.

“Anyway, Yibo. I’m sure Xiao Zhan would want you to carry on with your life. He wouldn’t want to wake up and find out that you missed a lot of shootings and commitments.”

Jianyu just really felt bad for the boy. Celebrity bookings are set months ahead of the actual schedule and it might damage the way directors and producers perceive him if he won’t stand by his commitments.

“You already sacrificed one show, you can’t sacrifice all others. We will surely tell you if something happens here in the hospital.”

Yibo lifted his gaze to him, as if in deep thoughts.

“Yibo, we will be advised once he’s getting better and once the medical team decide that they’d finally reverse the effect of drugs. That will be the time he will wake up, we will surely call you.”

Yibo finally nodded at this. “Okay, Shushu. But I’ll take a visit if I don’t have any schedule, I promise.”

Jianyu patted his back and smiled. "Sure, you will."

°°°

Yibo was in the lobby, about to make his exit when he caught a glimpse of Carman Lee. She was standing at the corner, looking up at the television that was hanged to the wall.

When he arrived earlier, Carman wasn’t here. It was said that she went home.

“Manager Lee.” He called as he approached her.

The woman quickly turned to him. “Yibo?!”

He offered him a little smile. “What are you doing here?” He also looks up to the TV screen, it was a follow up news about the unfortunate event last night.

 _“Sir, what really is the cause of the accident?”_ The news reporter asked a police officer.

_“The tire did burst. From what I see, this is an accident. The driver should’ve checked the car’s condition before driving. Yet we can’t rule this out as an accident as we’re still doing further investigation."_

_"Are you suggesting that there's a possible foul play?"_

Carman clenched her fists while watching the news. Knowing Yan-ge, he’s a responsible employee, he often checks the cars he drives beforehand.

“It’s not an accident. It’s the work of the wicked.”

Yibo’s eyes instantly flew to the woman with what she muttered.

“Manager Lee, what do you mean?”

Carman threw him a glance before she digs something out of her shoulder bag. It was the note she got alongside the stone that was used to break her car’s windshield.

“This was in my car last night. When Xiao Zhan’s accident happened.”

Yibo took it and the deep crease on his forehead was back.

“Is this—Is this from Chairman He?” He still can’t believe how evil that man really is!

“It’s either him or his son yet what’s the difference? They’re working together.”

Yibo’s fists curled into a ball. 

_How could they?!_

He didn’t say anything else before he turned his back and dashed off.

“Yibo—” Carman wasn’t able to catch up to him as the younger ran so fast, as if he was being chased by the devil.

One doctor even scolded Wang Yibo for running in the hallway but the kid went on as if he hadn’t heard anything.

Carman was left with her mouth hanging open. She just shook her head after a while, things were getting out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another side story coming next--
> 
> ✅ Carman Lee  
> ✅ Louis Koo  
> ✅ Xiao Jianyu  
> ✅ Xiao Xi Feng  
> ✅ Liu Koo


	16. Carman & Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mind was in a mess while writing this so there could be so many errors. 😶😶

Before I start this chapter, I put some photos of Carman and Louis to share what they look like. Some of these are from their 1995 series together 'The Condor Heroes 95'. 

Then:

Now:

**Special Chapter: Carman & Louis**

The first time Carman Lee encountered Louis Koo, she knew then she was magnetized. It was during a bus ride, wearing her school uniform – she was young as seventeen. A middle-aged man was shamelessly catcalling her, he was insisting to get her name. He could freely flaunt his stupid acts since there are only a few passengers left on the bus – the said degenerate, Carman, two old women and a grade school boy who looks no more than ten. If there’s anyone else, then she hadn’t noticed them as she’s too busy staring outside the window, away from the creep.

She ignored him with the resolute thought that if he will keep on pestering her, she’s going to give him something he’d regret. Like leaving a mark of her fist onto his face. That would be a nice stamp. 

“Miss, don’t play hard to get!” The degenerate even had the guts to occupy the seat beside her.

_Eww!_

“You’re too pretty for your own good, you know?” Then he chuckled.

 _And you’re too disgusting for your own good._ She wanted to mutter.

When the creep’s arm started snaking its way around her shoulders, Carman finally jolted up from her seat, stomping on the guy’s foot on the process before giving him a very nice slap across the face.

“Get away from me, pervert!”

The passengers started looking at them but what can they do?

“Y-You—” The creep was caressing the cheek she slapped, he was angry and mortified.

Mortified? Hah! She couldn’t believe that he still had some shame left in him!

“I kept ignoring you but you even had the guts to touch me inappropriately? Bastard!”

“You bitch!” The creep raised his hand and was about to hit her when an arm appeared out of nowhere that pulled the pervert by the collar and tossed it aside like some sort of trash, causing him to stumble and land onto the steel surface of the bus floor.

The owner of the arm slipped himself in between them and stared down at the creep. Carman was out of words as her eyes lingered at the figure of the man who saved her. He’s quite tall, wearing a casual jacket and a trouser.

“I hate seeing eyesores like you around. Fcking move.” The man ordered.

“Y-You—” The creep pointed at the guy as he tried to stand up. “How could you?!” He was about to launch an attack but he isn’t really good with close combat as he was easily beaten up.

Her savior only threw a few punches before that senseless reprobate was running around the bus, asking the driver to pull over. Once it stopped, the latter quickly went out.

It was only the time Carman finally had a good look of her savior. He appears to be around her age, tall and has this air of majestic pride. His fierce eyes were cold, like he wasn’t interested with the world around him. She just gawks at him and so, when his eyes finally met hers, Carman almost jumped from surprise.

“Th-Thank you.” She said almost immediately, too soft, it was like a whisper. Since she felt the hotness of her face, she knew then she was blushing. Blushing under the scrutinizing gaze of the man.

Wait—Why is he even looking at her as if she had done something against him?

“Calling a creep, pervert is okay but you can’t just casually call anyone a bastard as an insult.” Was the guy’s response before he left the bus as well. When he was already gone, Carman’s sense was awakened.

Regretfully, she could only watch him from the bus window before he finally dissolved from sight. Carman heaved a disappointed sigh. Hopefully, there’ll be next time.

  
Carman Lee yearned to see her savior from the bus once again yet she grew accustomed of getting disappointed everyday because the guy never showed up.

It went on for a month, until she just accepted the fact that the world is too big for them to meet again. Carman thought that he might only be a passing figure in her life. Even when she can’t forget his pretty eyes, his cold stare, they are only destined to meet once. 

But oh well, you can expect fate to be playful. Just when she was losing her hopes, Carman had the chance to get a glimpse of those pretty eyes yet again but this time, they weren’t cold but hurt and dispirited.

It was in a dinner party, hosted by the founder of Lush Zeal Entertainment, Koo Chingwan for his birthday. Lee Chenhui – Carman’s father – being the former’s best friend, they were both invited. 

Her father introduced her to some friends and colleagues, among them was Koo Chingwan’s two sons, Liu and Louis. His wife, Madame Sandy Koo has always been fervor in informing everyone that the younger one isn’t her son.

“Your daughter is really pretty, Chenhui.” Sandy mentioned, her cat eyes are keen while observing Carman’s entire demeanor. 

“Yeah, and she’s smart too.” Her father’s eyes were gleaming with pride as he puts an arm around her shoulders. “Top of the class. I often joke that she’d take over me as a director of Lush Zeal.”

Sandy Koo chuckled. “I’ve noticed my son has been stealing a glance at her ever since both of you came. Pity, he can’t leave Louis to engage in a talk with Carman.” She turned her gaze on her once again. “My son, Liu would take over the family business in the future. I should introduce you to him as well so you’d get acquainted with each other even before our… retirement.”

“I’m sure you’ll get along with them.” Chingwan agreed before calling two names. “Liu, Louis, come and greet the visitors.”

“We’re also introducing the—the other one?” 

Carman Lee noted how a look of disgust passed Sandy Koo’s face before her smile was back, though forced. She even tightened her hold around her husband’s arm.

“Of course.” Was Koo Chingwan’s only response.

After a while, two men almost the same height walked up to them. Carman’s heart erratically pound within her chest as recognition washes over her. One of them was the guy on the bus! The one who beat the living daylights out of the creep!

She can also see the slight change in the expression of the guy. Nice! He must have recognized her as well. Carman couldn’t understand but her chest seemed so full, as if her insides are swelling with happiness.

“This is the oldest, Liu.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Miss Carman Lee.” The other boy, whose smile reached his ears took her hand and shook it with obvious cheerfulness.

“And this is our youngest—”

“Your youngest.” Sandy Koo's snide remark.

Carman frowned a little, confused on what she meant. And then she realized it! That was why, this guy told her not casually call anyone a ‘bastard’ as an insult, because he was a child out of wedlock. Carman felt bad just by thinking that he must have been labeled as a bastard by other people.

“Anyway, this is Louis. He’d transfer to the school Carman is attending. I hope the two of you can be friends.” Koo Chingwan gestured for the guy who helped him on the bus. But this Louis only nodded, painting his lips with a forced smile. 

“Is this how you greet someone you just met?” Sandy lectured. “Force a smile and turn back thereafter? Where’s your proper ethics?”

Louis was frozen in his place, he flinched a little before his stoic face was back, as if he’s used to this kind of humiliation. “I—” He looks at Carman and bowed. “I’m sorry Miss Lee.”

“Hah! This is why you shouldn’t attend these kind of events. It’s not befitting for people without proper upbri—"

“Ah mom!” Liu exclaimed, the smile never leaving his lips. He put his elbow over his brother’s shoulder and ruffled the younger’s hair. “You know, Louis is a shy boy.”

“You always baby him around! This is a dinner party, Liu! Why can’t you just leave him alone and socialize with other people? As the successor of your father, you should meet the clients and make connections while you’re young.”

“That’s enough, Sandy.” Koo Chingwan finally said, he was smiling but he looks tensed. “Liu, Louis, attend to the visitors but make sure you’d sit on our table during the dinner.”

  
During the dinner, everyone was on their respective tables as the food was being served. Carman occupied the seat on the left side of her father while Louis Koo was seated on her father’s right.

Sandy Koo looks bored on her chair and she started complaining about everything she sees and when she turned to Louis, her anger rose up. 

“Why are you there? Where’s your brother? You should sit somewhere else, there’ll be no seat left for him.”

“L-Liu-ge went out for a while. He saw a friend downstairs and they were having a chat.” Louis stammered. “He said he’d be back after the meal.”

“After the meal?” Sandy Koo repeated, annoyed. “No, I’ll get someone to fetch him this instant, he should be here so save that seat for your brother.”

“Maybe we can just get another chair.” Chenhui suggested, he patted Louis on the back as a friendly gesture.

“We’d be too cramped here.” Sandy stated. “This is an embarrassment to the guests. Why don’t you take another table, Louis?”

The poor boy looks at his father as if asking for help but by the way Chingwan’s mouth twitched into a consoling smile, Carman knew his son was about to get disappointed.

“Louis.” Chingwan called. “Why don’t you just go to your cousins’ table? I’m sure you’d—”

“Hmph!” The boy harrumphed, didn’t even care to mask his annoyance. He rose up and pulled the chair in a loud manner, causing a noise. “Never mind, I’d just go to the garden.”

Carman watched as Louis Koo’s shoulders sagged down, he’s fronting annoyance but his eyes were sad—hurt.

“Surely, the younger one is much of a hotheaded.” One guest commented after Louis left the room. Sandy smiled as if she was very pleased with what she heard.

“Yeah. Louis never likes it when he’s being told what to do. What can you expect with the son of a low life? He’s stubborn.” Sandy snickered. “This is why, we can’t have him taking over the family business. It should be Liu. He’s not only responsible, he’s also the proper heir.”

Koo Chingwan cleared his throat. “Let’s eat.”

Sandy rolled her eyes on her husband but didn’t say anything else.

The woman’s words earlier can not be forgotten by Carman Lee. Low life?! She can’t believe how Sandy Koo was able to say those things even in front of the guests. Her smile never even ceases. She hasn’t got any ounce of humility left in her.

If she can be this tactless in front of everyone, what more in the confinement of her home? She must be one heck of a woman!

Carman has always been respectful… so she couldn’t understand how a thought of pushing Sandy Koo in a pool of mud had crossed her mind.

°°°

Carman wasn’t sure how the heck did she make it this far with just a faint smile. Truth be told, this soiree suffocates her, so after the dinner – while everyone is either dancing or socializing – she told a lame excuse of going to the comfort room when in truth, she’s heading for the hotel garden. She wanted to check on that boy. He hadn’t eaten yet so she stealthily took out some foods from the banquet table before going.

She saw him on the garden, looking like a sullen child.

“Here.” She extended her hand, handing him a small container. “It’s past eight, you must be hungry.”

“Why are you—”

“You didn’t eat, am I right?”

Louis crossed his arms and glared at her. “Are you taking pity on me?!”

“Yah! What pity?” She cut him off. “You frown like it’s the only expression you can make. I pity your face. Such good looks was rewarded to a person who can’t even use it in a good way.”

“Good way?”

Carman nodded. “Yeah, like this.” She smiled. “That’s the good way to use your face.”

Louis rolled eyes on her but took what she’s handing anyway. He took a bite on the chicken leg. “There’s no reason for me to smile like that. So, why would I?” 

“Then maybe you should find a reason. There will always be a reason to smile.”

“Ah, you talk too much.” Louis groaned, cheeks puffed from munching. “You act too nice, people like you are naïve. If there will always be a reason to smile, there will always be a reason to frown either.”

Carman sighed and took a seat on the bench next to him. “You are a pessimist one, aren’t you?”

“I’m just being realistic. Optimism associates with loss and disappointment.”

Disappointment. She was reminded on the look of dismay on his face a while ago.

“I’m sure your dad loves you.”

“Love is nonsensical when you only know about it. You should feel it, see it. Someone who loves should prove it with their actions. If you think this is the first time he did this, then you are wrong. Dad can’t do anything when it’s Madame Koo’s orders. He can only follow her. He even asked me to go to our cousins’ table? Hah! As if that would be better.”

“You don’t get along with them either?”

“They hate me. Madame Koo made it her mission for every single one of our family members to hate me. I don’t get along with any of them.” The guy rolled his eyes like a kid. “Only with Liu-ge.”

Carman nodded. The relationship Louis has with his stepmother is obviously ugly. He even calls her ‘Madame Koo’.

“Maybe you can get along with me. I heard you’re gonna study at the school I’m attending. We should get along well.” She extended her hand for him to shake.

“Huh?”

“I will be your first schoolmate friend. Okay?”

Louis only eyed the hand she was offering and after a while, he put the container where he stored the remnants of the chicken leg he was eating atop her palm.

“Why am I telling you these things anyway?” Was his response before walking out of there but before he completely vanished from sight, said guy turned back to her.

“What?” She asked, clueless.

Louis gestured the path ahead. “Get back in there with me. It’s dangerous for you to be alone here. It’s dark already.” The guy looks down as he said that, as if showing that he cares makes him uncomfortable. 

He must be reminded of the incident on the bus. Carman snorted before her lips broke into a smile. She rushed to the guy, still wearing her happy expression.

“You smile too much.” His remark sounded as if he’s criticizing her but Carman didn’t budge, it only made her smile wider.

Louis looks like an arrogant kid with a huge hate for the world but her mother used to say that those kind of people just wanted love and that she must use the kindness she possessed to help the likes of him. Carman took her mother’s lesson to heart. She hopes she can help Louis Koo.

°°°

Louis indeed enrolled to the same school Carman was attending and she made it her mission to take care of him. Because of her insistence, Louis was forced to accept her as a friend and she even introduced him to Jianyu and Xi Feng. 

Xi Feng was her best friend and Jianyu became Louis’ best friend. The four of them were happy and since Liu loves crashing in their circle, he became a part of the group as well. 

Carman thought it was the perfect squad. Yet things are about to change. Love can either break you or heal you… and for the first time in her life, Carman Lee fell in love and it was with Louis Koo.

She found out how Louis was deeply abused as a child, from verbal to physical. Sandy Koo referred to him as the prostitute’s son. He was bullied and hated inside the family, and other people criticize him behind his back for being a bastard. A thing that’s not even his fault! Louis is entirely misunderstood by people but to her, he is the warmest person alive. He often sacrifice himself for others… and even for Liu. Maybe because it was how he was raised – to always give way because he isn’t the priority. He isn’t the legitimate child. But for Carman, she wanted to give him the world.

Carman wanted to tell him about her feelings but she was just too late. As Louis began dating Xi Feng, she suffered her first ever broken heart but Carman did not confess, she’s Xi Feng’s best friend and she can never betray her.

“I’m happy for you.” She said over the phone the first time she found out about the relationship, but the truth was, her voice almost cracked.

Liu comforted her that day because he knew she likes his brother.

Carman tried to be contented. In the span of two years, there was a point in time where Liu confessed to her but she turned it down as nicely as possible. She can’t date someone she doesn’t love.

And also, in the span of two years, Louis and Xi Feng’s relationship went down the hill. The girl cheated, much to Carman’s dismay. And what more? She cheated with Jianyu and that betrayal caused her to get pregnant.

Louis was mad. Aside from his brother, he only let three people see the real him behind his walls, it was Carman, Xi Feng and Jianyu, yet the latter two betrayed him.

Carman felt like she was caught in between but then she chose Louis. She avoided Jianyu and Xi Feng to comfort the guy but Louis pushed her away with the reason that Liu likes him and she should just date his older brother.

Carman was left with no place with either of them all but she didn’t give up. She wanted to show Louis that even when their friends betrayed him, she will never.

“Fine, I love you! I’m doing this because I care for you, I don’t want you to feel alone.” She finally confessed one day.

“Love me?” There was wonderment in Louis’ voice, his face brightened up but it was gone in an instant. “Liu-ge likes you. You should date him.”

“But it is you that I like.”

“Carman…” Louis called, he sounded begging. “My brother likes you. Madame Koo and my father also like you for Ge. If you can’t like him, then date other guys—I can’t. I don’t want to hurt my brother.”

“Louis—”

“I love Xi Feng. I’m sorry, it can not be any other.”

It’s still Xi Feng even when she cheated.

Carman just avoided them all. It has all became toxic and she get out of the chaos with a broken heart. Liu checks on her every now and then, comforting her with a hope that she’d learn to love him.

Jianyu and Xi Feng tried to reconcile with her just before their son, Xiao Zhan’s second birthday. She gladly accepted them, she missed them anyway…

Then Liu, as the loving brother that he was finally gave up Carman for Louis’ happiness. He knew his baby brother loves the girl as well but was making way for him.

“Even when you’re the younger one. You always let go of the things you want for me to have. B-But I can’t let you, let go of the person you love for me as well.”

Carman was happy when Louis finally reciprocated her feelings but what he wanted for her is to avoid Xi Feng and Jianyu. Louis never forgiven the two. Much more, Jianyu, his labeled ‘best friend’. He never trusted them again.

Carman tried to be neutral. She dated Louis and went on with her friendship with Jianyu and Xi Feng. She had hopes that someday, everything will be back to normal, with the five of them as the perfect squad again.

However, this wasn’t the case as Liu died in a racing accident.

When his brother passed away, Louis was left as the sole heir of Lush Zeal Entertainment. He had to face everyone’s criticism for they do not think that he fits the role only because he wasn’t the supposed-to-be successor.

Without Liu, Louis turned colder, out of all the people he trusted in this life, only Carman was left. He grew more possessive of her, more protective but also, more controlling.

°°°

Xi Feng grew ill, the reason of Carman’s often visits.

When Xi Feng passed away, that’s when Louis became more paranoid. He attended the funeral out of courtesy but he didn’t like how close Carman and Jianyu are, makes him remember how Xi Feng and Jianyu were once close as friends before they cheated against him.

He grew susceptive of Carman’s closeness with Jianyu. They often argue because of it, he wanted her to unfriend Jianyu in which Carman said she couldn’t do because they were friends for a long time.

Their relationship was caught in a haywire after Louis went on a business trip and he came back with the news that Carman was pregnant. The woman never told him in any letter because she said she wanted it to be a surprise once he comes home.

“Are you sure that I was the father?”

“Of course!” Carman’s voice was tinted with hurt. “Who else could it be?! We made love before you go!”

“Really? How about Jianyu? You visit him every now and th—”

*Pak

Carman couldn’t take how spiteful his words were, she slapped him so hard, his cheek even had the shape of her palm. “How could you?!”

Louis digs for something out of his suit and threw it onto Carman’s face much to her surprise. 

“Tell me, Carman. How could you?!” He shouted back. If his eyes can produce flames, she would’ve burned to death right there and then.

With shivering hands, Carman picked up the photos scattered across the tiled floor. She eyed them in horror.

It was at Jianyu’s house, a shot from an open window, the one who captured it might be just a few feet away.

It was her, naked, a blanket covering her body and it was draping on her shoulders. Jianyu was hugging her.

“B-But this is—”

“What?”

She wasn’t able to find her words as her chest tightened and her mind went blank before she can even utter a word.

That night. She doesn’t want to remember that night.

“I’m asking you—what?!”

“I-It’s…” She started sobbing. “Louis, I can explain.”

“Just had sex eh?”

“No!” Carman shook her head furiously. “This is—This is…”

“That is what?”

“I was—” She looked up to him, but no words came out of her mouth.

“See, you can’t answer me! Why were you naked?! In his house?! You’re just like Xi Feng—you know what? Why don’t you just leave?”

“No Louis!” She ran and held his arm but he only shove her hands away. “I can explain.”

“We’ll talk later… for the DNA test.”

“But this is your child!” She yelled.

“How can I believe you when you slept with another man while I was gone? Huh?”

“B-But, I did not!”

“Can you just shut up?! Changming!” He called his driver. “Changming! Come here, quickly!”

When his driver came rushing in, Louis pointed at her.

“Send her to his parents house. I don’t want to see her when I come back.”

“No please Louis, let me talk!”

But Louis didn’t spare her a glance. He went to the garage and get to his car, leaving Carman almost kneeling on the ground – begging.

Later that day, Louis came back and Carman was no longer there. There were days where she’d chase him, wait for him outside his office but he ignored all her attempts.

However, there was this one day that she successfully got his attention.

“Please hear me out, Louis. The photo, who took the photo? Who gave it to you?”

“Does it matter?”

“I was—I was with Jianyu because—”

“I don’t care anymore. I don’t really love you anyway.” Louis chuckled bitterly with sarcasm. “I used you as a diversion for Xi Feng.”

“Huh?”

“I never loved you, Carman. It was her all along. You were just a rebound.”

Louis knew it was a lie. He loved Carman but if that child she carries isn’t his and is a product of cheating and betrayal, what would he feel about it? What if he becomes like Sandy Koo? 

Sandy Koo hates him because he’s a bastard. Would he hate the child as well?

What if he’s to hurt the poor child and be bitter on that child for all his life? He’s already a bastard, and having a bastard as well would be too tragic.

“Y-You only really love Xi Feng?” Carman asked with trembling voice.

Louis looks at her straight in the eyes. "Yes." 

Carman gasped, her breathe was heavy, as if her ribcage were clamping against her heart.

"Carman, you've always been my pastime and you know what's worse? You've also became Jianyu's rebound. After all, you are nothing compared to Xi Fe—"

*PAK!

Carman slapped him before he could even finish his words. But Louis didn't even budge, he just stroke his cheek and eyed her again coldly.

“We’ll have a DNA test when it’s deemed eligible.”

“Damn you, Louis!"

“I have always been damned. All of you should disassociate yourselves with me or I’ll damn your lives as well. I am not kidding, if any of you comes near me again, you will regret it.”

That and he entered his car.

Out of all the people he trusted in his life. No one was left. Because of his upbringing, it wasn’t easy for him to trust other people, and whenever he finds himself trusting someone, it often ends up in betrayal. Was it because from the start, since the day he was born, he was fated to live a lonely life? Is it the repayment for his mother and father’s sin against Sandy Koo?

Louis never checked on Carman even when he sees Chenhui in the office. The man seemed to avoid him too anyway. But in secret, Louis paid someone as lookout for the woman. This man he paid reports to him every week, he said Carman seldom leaves the house.

After five months though, the man said he couldn’t see Carman anymore and the last time he saw the woman was when she visited Jianyu’s house.

Louis dismissed the tracker when he hasn’t got any update from the woman anymore. 

Four months had passed since then. The birth of the child should be around the corner but there was still no sign of Carman Lee. Louis Koo couldn’t take it anymore and out of desperation, he finally asked Chenhui.

“How’s Carman? And the baby?”

“My daughter left the country a few months ago, Louis. She no longer wanted to see you, don’t ask about her anymore. And the baby? The kid you denied as yours? Why are you asking? I thought he isn’t your son?”

“So, he’s a boy.”

“My daughter suffered a miscarriage. I hope you won’t ask about private matters again. Next time you talk to me, be sure it’s about business.”

Miscarriage. Upon hearing that word, Louis felt like a part of him had gone missing. That day, Chenhui gave him the address where he’s claimed son was buried via the old man’s assistant. 

Time could really heal the wounds, as after many years, Chenhui seemed to forgive him, though they only act civil towards each other. 

But for Louis, the wounds he suffered emotionally seemed so impossible to heal.

°°°

Carman knew Louis didn’t get mad without reason. They indeed looked intimate in the photos. She completely understands him.

She was ready to beg, ready to kneel just to make him hear her side… But even with how much she cried, he didn’t listen.

Carman thought she should wait for Louis to be ready to talk… But he never became ready. She then looked back to the years Louis did nothing but hurt her.

When did he really choose her over anyone? Over his feelings? Over his anger? All these years she listened to him, understand him, encouraged him, she did her best, gave her best but in the end—he still chose to turn deaf with her explanations.

Until he admitted it, he loves Xi Feng. Always been Xi Feng and never Carman.

Carman succumbed to stress and when she realized she shouldn’t wait for Louis and just go on with her life for her baby—it was too late, for her body became weak, it couldn’t support the life inside of her.

Carman suffered a miscarriage. Along with burying her little one, she also buried the hope she had for her relationship with Louis. She blames him but she also blames herself. If she could have been a stronger woman and tried her best to stand up on her own rather than to cry over a man who jus left her – then her son must have been born a healthy baby.

Louis didn’t choose her. Louis didn’t choose their son. But in the end, she submitted to her own pain, became too busy with her own feelings that she couldn’t take good care of her baby. In the end, she wasn’t able to choose her son as well. 

In Carman’s head, she’s partly to blame and for that, she became afraid to start a family.

°°°

Carman decided to forget everything and move forward with her life. With the resolute thought, she left the country.

She’s having a good life outside the country, it’s been almost two decades. But one news took her back to the past.

**Rising Star, Xiao Zhan signed up with Lush Zeal Entertainment**

Her immediate thought was, it was a mistake. She thought she moved on, but she was wrong because she grew worried. Xiao Zhan is Jianyu and Xi Feng’s son – the fruit of betrayal of the two. What if Louis is planning something to destroy the boy? 

Carman thinks she overthought it because even in her sleep, her best friend – Xi Feng – visited her. In her dream, the woman was asking her to protect her son against Louis Koo.

Carman pondered about it for a whole week until she decided that maybe, it’s time to go back to China. To just check whether everything’s good or not. She knew that it will be easy for her to get into the company with the help of her father.

“I wish you could grant me this one wish, Dad.” She asked just a day after her return to China.

“But why do you want it? I thought you’d never go back to that company? And as an idol manager of all things?!”

Carman didn’t answer. She understands him, she was a Vice President of the International Marketing department in the last company she worked for before she went back. It was an executive-level job. But well, there’s nothing wrong with being an idol manager anyway… it’s just that, she must ready herself to be a bodyguard-slash-assistant-slash-driver-slash-manager.

“Please dad.” She eyed her dad with pleading eyes. If other people would see her right now, they’d either sneer or laugh. She looks like a five-year old in a body of a woman in her 40’s. 

“Fine, I’ll see if I can get you in but do me a favor and don’t associate yourself with Louis ever again or you’d end up broken in the end. He’s no longer the boy I knew, Carman. He’s a changed man.”

That made her bawl her eyes out. “For goodness’ sake, Dad! Have you forgotten that it’s been ages? What makes you think I’d chase him again?”

“It took you a lot of pain before you finally gave him up but all the relationships you had after him failed miserably. You never got married. Maybe I’m just scared that it’s not yet over for you. Love is hard to understand. There are times you’d think it’s over but just one moment could change everything.”

“Dad.” Carman sighed. “It’s over. So just this one, get me into the company and let me manage Xiao Zhan. Xi Feng would be happy in heaven knowing that I’m taking care of her son.”

Lee Chenhui has still some authority in the company even after his retirement – as he’s still a shareholder and a very respected friend of the late Koo Chingwan. For this reason, Carman was easily hired. 

Everything’s doing good but Carman decided to stay. She doesn’t see Louis much and she grew closer with Xiao Zhan as well, like he was her own child. Carman didn’t have the chance to carry her son into her arms, but she has a chance to take care of Xiao Zhan who’s the closest she can think of as a son.

She made it her mission to take care of him.

Everything was good… until it is not.

°°°

_“Another name in question surrendered himself and confessed to have an access to a private website hosted by the so-called son of ‘Business Tycoon A’. This man is the web developer for this private organization that sells hidden camera footages and illegal videos of females online.”_

Carman eyed the television, her eyebrow forming an arch. This news grossed the hell out of her. The media only named a few suspects but they should also start naming those big people behind these lecherous acts – like Business Tycoon A and his spawn. Let the public feast on them. Such lewd acts should be reviled.

_“It was estimated that over five hundred men were signed up for this website. The man also submitted his phone to the police where they discovered a group chat mainly made to share illicit activities and malicious contents such as – sexual abuse, drug trades etc._

She shook her head. Whatever’s happening to the world?

_“In another news, Congming Entertainment and Lush Zeal Entertainment finally released a statement.”_

Carman was about to turn off the television but stopped amidst pointing the remote control to the screen when she heard Lush Zeal was mentioned.

_Statement for what?_

Carman’s eyes were fixated on the screen. She couldn’t comprehend whatever the fuck does it mean when she saw Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan’s individual photos were formed into a collage of two frames. With the headline that reads: **_Not Just Friends, Confirmed._**

Whatever the reporter was saying doesn’t make any sense. The only thing she understands on what she’s saying is that _‘the two were caught in a car looking intimate’_ and that _‘their companies confirmed it already’._

_Confirmed. Looking intimate. Not just friends. Company released a statement._

Those words all ring inside her head. Until Carman’s eyes widened, finally waking up from her trance. She felt like she was slapped.

She looks up to the screen once again and saw the photo that was taken earlier this morning. Xiao Zhan drunk, while fondly touching Yibo’s cheek.

Something inside her stirred up. She knew for a fact that they aren't dating so why did their agency confirm it? And Carman thinks she knows why. It was the very reason why she returned to China, because she needed to make sure Xiao Zhan will be okay under the hands of Louis Koo… Louis Koo who promised to damn their lives.  
  
So, it’s finally happening? That loathsome asshole’s payback?

After telling Xiao Zhan to never ever step out of the hotel, she quickly drove off to the company to demand an explanation from Louis but he wasn’t in the office and so, she couldn’t do anything yet.

°°°

When Xiao Zhan informed that he and Yibo agreed to stand by their companies’ wishes. Carman Lee tried to talk to Louis again, she needed to confront him before it becomes too late.

“Who is it?”

“Mr. Koo it was—"

Before the assistant could finish, Carman pushed the door open as she wishes. 

“It’s me. Xiao Zhan’s manager.”

“Oh. It’s you.” The CEO nodded. “What do we have to talk about?”

Carman doesn’t like the calmness in his voice when she’s already this furious. Without saying anything, she sauntered into the room and gave him a nice slap. She had to admit it wasn’t all professional – it was for Xiao Zhan but it was for her as well. It’s been long overdue anyway.

A gasp was heard from the assistant behind them but the CEO just gestured for her to leave. Couldn’t do anything, the assistant left in a bit of shock.

“How could you do that to him?” Carman yelled once they were left alone. “He’s a rising star and to take a risk like this—what are you even thinking?”

Louis laughed at her fierceness. “He’s a rising star, under my wings. If it wasn’t for the management, would he even get where he is right now? Taking the risk is inevitable, it’s essential to boost one’s career.”

“But it wasn’t his choice! Why are you dragging his name to a decision you made by yourself? Is it because of his parents?” She couldn’t help but ask. “B-Because of me?!”

“Oh for goodness’ sake Carman! Why are you dragging yourself in an affair that is not yours? I didn’t do this because of you—or because you think I couldn’t move on from a bad past.”

“Then why?!”

“It’s all because of business! My business in which you are not included.”

Carman couldn’t put a finger on whatever she felt but there was a pang inside her chest, a twinge that’s somehow similar to pain.

“He could benefit from this and his gain is our gain. LGBTQ community gets a larger support as time goes by. The censorship is slowly losing its sense. Netizens have been demanding for it to be taken down for a while now. Xiao Zhan and Yibo would be the first gay couple to be announced in National TV after a long time.”

“But they are not a couple!”

Louis only shakes his head, ignoring her words. 

“When it comes to show business, you should be able to fire things up to achieve something. We will play this right, play them by our hands. They’ll be sensationalized as if they started a revolution. If people love them, they’d be the pioneer of this thing—they’ll be legendary. The hype would be something else too. The BL craze nowadays is different Manager Lee.” Louis snickered. “What else? It’s Wang Yibo! A powerhouse! To be linked with that name… this is the publicity everyone would have wanted.”

She scoffed. His reasons only pushed her to get more furious.

“What if your theory would be proven wrong? If Xiao Zhan gains, it’s also your company’s gain but what if he falls? Would he fall alone? How the hell did you become like this?!” She panted at her outburst. “If you don’t care about him personally then at least be concerned about him as an artist. He’s still your talent! It was Xiao Zhan’s career that’s on stake, not yours.”

“Of course it wasn’t mine, that’s why I wasn’t worried, right? I’ve got plenty of talents, if the public hated him for this then extend my apologies to him. That’s all.”

The CEO turned his back on her and was about to walk to his desk but Carman isn’t finished yet. The way Louis talks, she knows he’s lying. He obviously wanted a fall on Xiao Zhan’s career.

Hate made him a hateful person.

“Louis, what are you seriously getting from this?”

The CEO paused from his track. When he turned to her again, he’s already smiling deviously. He inched closer and was about to reach out to touch her cheek but retracted when she took a step back. 

“You really are pushy, aren’t you? Fine!” Louis nodded. “Congming Entertainment’s CEO is an agreeable man. It’s good to have a connection with them. Wang Yibo is a name he doesn’t like to be around his management. He said, that boy has a foul mouth. So when he saw the chance to taint his name, he quickly grabbed it.”

Carman’s mouth twitched. So that was it. The CEO he was talking about was a guy named He Peng. That scheming bastard is doing this to ruin Yibo’s career while Louis Koo is doing this to ruin Xiao Zhan’s. It’s what she thought it is! It was planned to be a negative blow from the start!

She clenched her fists until the knuckles turned white. “You asshole.” She muttered and glared at the man in front of him. “Why did you agree on this?! Why are you even associating yourself with fools like that?”

“Ah, Miss Lee. You must have misunderstood everything.” Louis Koo crossed his arms and looks at her derisively. “I was the first one to make a move, I received Xiao Zhan and Yibo’s photos before anyone else does. I was the one who sent it to Congming.”

Carman clenched her teeth. “I can’t believe you, Louis! Stop stooping so low just for the sake of what—revenge? It’s been years! Can’t you just forget everything?!”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care about you! I care about Xiao Zhan! You’re becoming a loathsome asshole!”

“Oh coming from you? A whore in your own right?”

Carman’s ears burned at what she heard. She wanted to slap his filthy mouth but she tried to compose herself and sigh. “May I remind you that your father used to warn you about trusting the He’s? He knows them long before. He knows them more than you do.”

At the mention of his own father, Louis’ composure was shattered instantly yet he tried his best to look unfazed. He even smirked. “Do not mention him. If your opinion wasn’t asked, it means I don’t want to hear it. Your father’s share is no more than this company’s pocket money. I am the majority! You are just a small part in this industry, you should watch your words.”

Pocket money?! 5% of Lush Zeal isn’t really a small stock! What an arrogant jerk! It wasn’t like she lived her life easily when it involves Louis Koo. All those years of dealing with him, she had learned how to cope up with his temper.

“No, you listen here.” She raised her chin to show him he’s not afraid. “I could sit with it and keep my silence if it was all true but what you confirmed is a lie. None of you even consulted Xiao Zhan. And if he gets hurt from this or if his career falls, pray that kid would have a proper landing or I will not back away even from you. It’d be your loss if you couldn’t handle him right.”

“Oh I’m scared…” Louis sat behind his desk and jeered at her. “May I remind you, Miss Lee that you are not Xiao Zhan’s mother? But love is something else, eh? You’re willing to protect him just for the sake of a man who just used you?”

What is he talking about? Does he meant that she’s doing this for Jianyu? 

“Used me? Jianyu never used me. It was you who did.” Carman clenched her fists. “It was you who did.” She muttered before she turned away and leave. 

Unbelievable dumb asshole! He was the one she chased in the past, how stupid is he to conclude that she’s in love with Jianyu?

  
That talk drained Carman Lee for days. Louis still sees her as a whore – which was never true at all! She’s too mad, she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore, fight with him anymore so she was silently thanking the heavens when nothing stupid happened after. Although there are some cases of discrimination, they were nothing big compared to the support Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan have garnered.

Louis Koo and He Peng failed in demeaning the new couple and Carman thought it ends there… but then she discovered far more complex stuffs.

Carman realized that the people’s approval should be lesser of their concern when she saw how the media portrays the so-called couple. Everything was exaggerated! As if they are digging even the smallest things about them. Even in social networking sites, the two are always the hottest topic… even when some topics about them are complete lies.

But what knocked her the most was a comment from some random netizen saying that the news is now full of celebrity gossips and some crimes that needed coverage are being neglected by the media.

It was a fact, and when she looked back on these so-called celebrity gossips that rocked the world this year, she realized that the three biggest fuss include Congming talents. Carman didn’t know what to think at this discovery. 

Her concerns grew upon the thought that Xiao Zhan might have stalkers.

The first was the girl who claimed that she was an insider and second, the guy named Feng Chong who tailed Xiao Zhan’s car to Nightless Avenue and caused an accident. Carman doesn’t think they are the same person since the guy’s in the police custody already but the ‘insider’ account is still active on Weibo.

Because of these things, she became paranoid. What if Feng Chong, who claimed to be a paparazzi was just blabbing? What if this person works with someone else?

By someone, Carman can only think of two people. It’s either Louis Koo or He Peng. Louis wanted to find a hole in Xiao Zhan’s career while He Peng… something’s odd about the guy.

One morning, she was reading a newspaper when a headline about this so-called _‘Business Tycoon A’_ caught her attention. That news has been consistently floating and sinking for weeks now. During the first week, it was a huge scandal, topics about it were everywhere, the police was being pressured by the public and the authorities are being questioned.

But it had soon deteriorated as Li Chunhua’s missing case received a public outcry. The news about the businessman received some attention once again after Chunhua’s case was debunked as fraud. It was said that the man works for entertainment industry. 

Since Carman’s father used to be a director of Lush Zeal, she knew some of the biggest figures in the show business industry – and if this business tycoon is really as powerful as to escape the law for decades, then he’s not a mere employee. He must be an executive or a high-ranking official of a huge company.

As if on cue, Carman remembered a conversation between Koo Chingwan and Louis years ago, when she was still dating the latter.

_“I heard you were planning a joint music enterprise with Congming Entertainment?” Koo Chingwan asked over dinner._

_“Yeah, we’ll have a formal meeting about it in two days.” Louis answered, not sparing his father a glance. “He Chunfeng’s idea, he said he’s looking for new business endeavors. I never had a prior talk with the man but he seemed amenable. He personally approached me just for that agenda.”_

_“Turn the offer down.” His father ordered._

_Carman felt the tension grew within the dinner table when Louis finally eyed his father. “What’s wrong with that? This venture is risky yet if successful, it would surely benefit us. Congming is the largest, while we’re not even on top three.”_

_Congming started as a small firm way back 1971 – then named, HC Records. He Chunfeng’s own wife being the first artist to sign under their label. They only had a small studio then but Chairman He wasn’t called a prodigy for nothing. He managed to expand his business, renamed it Congming and in the span of ten years became the biggest entertainment company in Asia._

_“The next thing you know, Lush Zeal will just become their subsidiary..” Chingwan told his son._

_“So, what would you have me do?”_

_“Don’t make business with them.” Chingwan’s voice was stern, commanding. “They could be…” He sipped from his wine before eyeing his son. “Cunning. Some men can show their gentlest smile to the world and be a vicious beast behind the curtain. I won’t have you associate Lush Zeal with untrusted people.”_

_“Why?” Louis stared at his father. “Do you know He Chunfeng personally?"_

_Carman noted that Chingwan paused for a moment before he found his voice._

_“I-I don’t but… but haven’t you heard the others talking about him? They said he must have some deep secrets or ill-gotten wealth to be able to—”_

_“Rumors are just rumors. How are you so sure that it’s all true?”_

_“But it’s better to stay on our lane. Lush Zeal is doing good without them so, why take the offer?”_

_“Without risk, you can’t expect your company to get bigger.” Louis snickered. “If you think I can’t handle risks, then you’re wrong. You never really trusted that I can do good even without you meddling, huh?”_

_“Ah Louis!” Sandy interrupted, flaunting her wicked smile. “If you really are tough then do what you want and let’s see if LZ can prosper in your lead.”_

_It feels like she’s just pushing Louis to accept He Chunfeng’s offer. However, in the end, Louis chose to follow his dad._

That time, Carman felt bad for Louis. He was just new to the business but he was a hard-worker. Louis was only a CEO for a year then and even when he won’t admit it, Carman knew that he was trying his best to win the acknowledgement of his father. 

But what if, he just misunderstood everything? What if his father wasn’t underestimating his effectivity as a Managing Director but he was just warning him to stay away from the He’s—after all, he said they could be cunning. What if he did know them? Koo Chingwan must’ve a reason for saying that.

With the conversation between Chingwan and Louis from decades ago and the knowledge that Congming talents are being sensationalized by the media, a new suspicion popped inside her head and she was horrified with the idea.

If her hunch against the He’s are the truth, then what the fuck is Louis Koo doing, making business with them?! Is he now a part of their dirty business? She can’t have it! Louis hates prostitution, he hates promiscuity and procurers! Even when he hurts her, Carman wanted to believe that there’s still a strain of the old Louis left inside that loathsome asshole. She wanted to believe that he will never favor those kind of people like Business Tycoon A.

°°°

“What are you doing here again, Manager Lee?” Louis asked when she showed up to his office once again. The man looks so done with her.

Carman eyed the television he was watching. It was the news about the suspect of Xiao Zhan’s car accident case – Feng Chong. She clenched her fists. “The case was solved? Was it really all that?” 

“What does it have to do with me? The man confessed to it, why are you complaining to me? I’m a businessman not a police officer.”

“Yes! A businessman!” She crossed her arms and lifted her chin up. “Are you the sort to engage with some filthy works just to get what you want?”

“What are you implying?”

“I have so many things to ask you.” She sighed. “But first things first… did you hire someone to stalk Xiao Zhan’s daily life?”

The journalists always know where to find him because this Weibo user who claimed she was an insider often posts his whereabouts. 

“What if I did?”

Carman’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Who is it?!”

Louis averted his gaze away from her.

“I said who is it?!”

“That’s not important as that girl who’s following her is about to quit.”

“A girl?” She clenched her fists. “How about this guy, Feng Chong? Claimed paparazzo. Who sent him? Maybe it was your friend, hmm? That He Peng?”

Louis was quiet for a while, and when he finally speaks up, his voice was faint. “It’s hard to put a blame on someone without a proof, Carman. Be careful with your words and don’t involve yourself with them.”

“Proof? You want proof? Tell me the truth, Louis! Who sent that Feng Chong! If you won’t tell me this instant then I will search for my—”

“It’s the He’s!” Louis cut her off. “You get the information that you want, now stop delving into it or you’ll be in danger.”

Oh she just wanted to delve more! They fucking endangered Xiao Zhan and an old innocent man! Her talent even faced a lot of hates because of it!

“Why did they send him? What do they want from Xiao Zhan?” 

Louis shook his head. No response.

“They wanted a diversion? Away from the news about them?” She asked, provokingly. “Why do excessive things like that?”

“Stop it, Carman.”

She didn’t listen to him, instead, she smiled viciously and carry on with her speech.

“Call me paranoid but it was better than being oblivious. Does He Peng only want to put a strain into Yibo’s career and humble him down? If he does, then he’s failing miserably. Or he’s using this for something else? Do you think I’m stupid?” She let out a mocking chuckle. “There was a dirty rumor surrounding the entertainment business at this very moment, Louis. I know that whoever uses their idol as a diversion keeps the most outrageous secret. Be careful who you make business with, or maybe you were now part of this whole Business Tycoon A fiasco?”

Louis Koo’s eyes flinched, Carman knew she hit a nerve… It scares her. She wanted to do something. She wanted to help. 

Help him. But she doesn’t know how.

“Louis… this business tycoon A? Is it Chairman He?”

But the man only sighed and turned his back on her. 

“L-Louis…” She called, aghast. Her voice lost all its earlier confidence.

“Are you—Did you… other than Yibo and Zhan, did you have other business with them?” She shook a head. “Please say you did not.”

Louis’ shoulders slumped down. “You know so well I will never be involved in that kind of business. My mother she—" He paused and Carman knew why.

Business Tycoon A is a procurer who used to offer female idols for promiscuity. He was also said to be involved in some sex trafficking and slavery ring stuffs. That act may or may not have continued until this present time but still – there was a history. Louis’ mother was a prostitute, he wouldn’t be in that kind of business for all his life! 

“Leave Carman.”

“Louis, I may be of help. I-I…”

“Help?” He scowled, as if he woke up from his earlier trance. “You are in this company because of Xiao Zhan! Not because of me! What help can you offer? Just leave! I don’t need you here. I don’t need you ever again!”

Louis threw all the things sitting on his desk in a fit of rage. “Just leave!”

Carman didn’t want to, but just like in the past, she was left with no choice. She has to part with Louis again. And just like in the past, it still breaks her heart. 

With tears forming in her eyes, she hurried to the door, head for the nearest comfort room to lock herself up. She’s mad. She thought she had moved on. That the nearly two decades of avoiding him was enough.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

Here she is, inside the powder room trying to conceal her tears. 

Until now she’s crying. She’s still hurting because of Louis.

Carman felt like a clown. She was too sure with her father when she took up this job just to end up like this once again. But what can she do? She still loves him and she needs to help him.

It will be a hard job. Helping Louis and protecting Xiao Zhan. Carman wishes she could do both.

°°°

One thing about Carman Lee, her logic falls short when it comes to love but she’s a smart woman and a brave one too. She went on searching for Feng Chong’s family members to execute her plan. She wanted to convince him to spill the truth and the things he knows about He Chunfeng. In order for it to happen, she should first assure his family’s safety. 

She located them by the downtown area of Beijing, near the slums of the city.

“Miss—”

“Miss Lee.” She gave a lighthearted smile to the woman who opened the door. Base on her research, it was Feng Rong Zhen, Feng Chong’s wife.

This woman must be in her early 30’s but her skinny and pale demeanor makes her look a bit older. She looks sick.

“I’m Xiao Zhan’s manager.”

There was a look of fear on the woman’s face upon hearing the name.

“Please don’t be afraid. I’m here to talk to you. A deal.” She smiled again. “May I come in?”

The woman was hesitant but after a while, she opened the door.

After Carman stated her agenda, the woman looks aghast.

“But what if—what if CEO He finds out? He threatened my husband that if he tells anyone his connection with the case he’d kill all of us.” Feng Rong Zhen’s worry reflects on the crease of her forehead. “My—My husband wasn’t planning on betraying the He’s but I was admitted to the hospital and he asked his boss for help.” 

She shrugged her shoulders, a pool of tears visible from her eyelids. “Chairman He already lend him some money for my check ups but when he asked to borrow more for my admission, the chairman said some hurtful things to him. Saying how he’s so shameless and such.”

Carman clenched her fists. This is why she looks unwell, she just gotten out of the hospital and now she’s stressing over the He’s threats and her husband’s incarceration. 

“Mr. Koo then bribed him because they wanted to get inside He Chunfeng’s mansion.”

 _Louis?_ Carman’s eyes widened. So, he was the one who planned the ransack of the He’s mansion. That was even on the news!

“My husband let them in the gates and opened the door of the mansion for Mr. Koo’s men.” Rong Zhen explained.

“Louis Koo, what does he want from the mansion?” She asked.

The woman shrugs.

“A-All I know is that, they stole some documents. My husband only accepted Mr. Koo’s bribe out of desperation so I was able to undergo a surgery. But my husband grew afraid that Chairman He would know about his betrayal and decided to resign. They let him leave with the pledge that everything he knew, he shouldn’t tell a single soul. We planned on leaving this place.” Feng Rong Zhen shook her head. “But even before we can leave, some guys broke into our house and threatened us. They dragged my husband with them. He was forced to admit that he helped Mr. Koo infiltrate Chairman He’s mansion.”

Carman just nodded and let her continue. So Louis Koo had stolen some documents in search of what? Of evidence, maybe.

“They weren’t satisfied with his confession. They wanted him to do something against Xiao Zhan. My husband didn’t want to at first but—” Her voice trembled. “But they said that they’d kill us. So, he did it. And as a repayment for his betrayal, they wanted him to admit the crime and be jailed for it. It was their punishment for him for aiding Mr. Koo. And if he speaks against the, they’d kill me, my husband… our—our only son.”

Carman sighed and scooted closer to the woman. She hesitantly reached for her and rubbed soothing circles onto her back.

“I will provide you home, securities 24/7.” She started. “I will keep you safe, under my own roof, provide everything you need until we have them behind bars. You just have to trust me and be my witness.”

“B-But—” The woman roamed her eyes around the house, as if looking for reasons to turn her offer down but she can’t find any.

“Feng Rong Zhen.” Carman called. “He Chunfeng is a wicked man. How are you so sure that even without telling what you know to the authorities, your family will stay safe? He can kill you anytime.”

She was about to say something more when the door opened and came in a young boy holding some sort of—

“Xiu Ying!” The mother called in panic and rushed to her son’s side. “What are you holding?”

It was a blood-soaked shirt! Feng Rong Zhen quickly yanked it away from the child. There was a letter attached to it saying _‘We’re watching you’._

“I-I washed this earlier and hanged them outside to dry… why—“ She looks at Carman Lee. “Who would do this?”

“A threat?” Carman asked in a haze.

“Another threat?! My husband already did what they wanted him to do, he’s even in jail right now. What more do they want? Why did they even follow us here?”

Carman massaged her temple. This means Feng Chong’s family is being watched by Chairman He’s minions. They must have seen her visiting that's why they sent a warning. 

In no time, their boss will know that she’s digging information. But she knew even before, that it’s a possible scenario and she prepared herself from being terrorized as well.

Feng Rong Zhen harshly turned to her, this time, she saw the fire in her eyes that wasn’t there earlier. “Miss Lee, if they’re gonna hurt anyone of us then it’s better to put up a fight rather than to die as useless.” She said, resolute.

Carman snickered. They'd get along well.

That same day, she evacuated the Feng family to live with her in her own house.

°°°

Carman finally persuaded Rong Zhen. Knowing that his family is being protected, hopefully, they can persuade Feng Chong as well.

And also Louis. Once the latter cooperated with them, it will be a lot easier.

Another thing, if Chairman He and his son would be busted, then at least Louis will be able to save himself from being linked to their case if he could turn his back on them during this time.

She was showing her house to Rong Zhen when Yan-ge called to inform her that Xiao Zhan, who was drunk, begged him to go to Yibo’s house. Carman felt her headache escalated with that.

When she saw Yibo, she was thinking whether she’d tell him what’s really going on or not. In the end, she decided to tell him the truth.

°°°

“What do you want Carman?”

When she opened the door to Louis’ office, his hands were on his head as if he's in the midst of stressing over something.

“Louis, I know you were searching for some proofs against He Chunfeng and I’m willing to help you. I can help you.” She said with absolute resolution. “But before I help, promise me that you'd turn your back on the He’s. Save yourself.”

“Save myself?” He laughed hysterically. It sounded ironic. “I don't need help, I have my own proofs.”

“I know that. You stole some documents from his mansion.”

Louis stared at her with disbelief. “How do you know this?”

“I… searched for Feng Chong’s family. They are in my house.”

“Your house?” Louis’ face twisted in some familiar expression. Like he was scared… concerned. “How many times should I have to tell you to not involve yourself?! He Chunfeng is a dangerous man! Why are you so stubborn, Carman?!”

“How can I not? Louis, he just endangered Xiao Zhan! And how can you be this fucking shameless? A man you bribed is currently in jail, he was threatened by the He’s and his family is in danger and yet you can’t do anything?!”

“My men tried to approach Feng Chong’s family to take them away but I got a call from the He’s. They are watching that family closely, I can’t get a chance to take them without the He’s knowing and you fucking evacuated them to your house? Carman, what are you thinking? Do you know how dangerous it is?”

She clenched her fists. Is he concerned? But right now, she doesn’t need it, not a damn ounce of his worry. What she needs is his help.

“I know, I’m being watched right now. I’m now involved and at risk but if you only have some sense left in you, you’ll do the same thing I did. You’ll try to protect the people who are dragged because of you! Makes me remember of that woman you said you ordered to follow Xiao Zhan around. Where is she now?!”

“I gave her money and told her to leave this place. She could be somewhere safe.”

“Are you sure of that?”

Louis turned his gaze away from her. “Meika was so scared of the He’s, I’m sure she’s not gonna stick around this place for too long.”

Carman’s eyes widened. “Meika?!” She felt as if she was electrocuted. “You mean—The claimed insider on Weibo was Meika all along?!”

Her last day as Xiao Zhan’s P.A. was the same day as Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo’s break up. After that, she hadn’t come to work and just texted her that she’s quitting the job without formalities. Carman called her a lot of times but she never answered.

“Just leave Carman. You’re making my headache worse.”

Carman tried to recover from the shock. “I-I won’t leave until you agree to tell everybody the truth. You need to cooperate with us, you can be absolved, you can save your reputation if you’ll confess at this time.”

“Hah!” He chuckled mockingly. “Tell the truth and then what? You don’t kno the He's, they will do everything to drag me down! Do you know that when they found out I was looking for evidence against them, they started forging fake documents against me? They are ready to show it to the world once I speak ill about them. Do you know who backs them up? Do you know who are the members of their underground brotherhood society? The largest names in this country!”

Carman gets terrified at whatever he’s saying.

“Who would listen to us then? The police are just puppets. The public? What can normal people do? Rally? Sign petitions? But do they even have the power to control everything?”

“You are underestimating the power of the public, Louis.”

“And you are over trusting that the public will fight with you on this case. The same audience who can forget things just because of some juicy celebrity gossips?”

“Yeah celebrity gossips that were used as diversion because at the end of the day, He Chunfeng is still scared to be on the news. Because he’s still scared that his identity will be revealed. He’s still afraid of the normal people. He can’t control everything Louis! Why should you let him control you?”

Louis stared at her for a moment, then his shoulders sagged. “I can’t take the risk. I have a company to shoulder.”

“You should’ve think of that before you made a business with the He’s!” She raised her voice again, as if forcing him to understand.

“If I know that rascal He Chunfeng was that man on the news, do you think I’d ever come near them?! Stay away from them Carman, leave this place as long as you can. Don’t associate yourself with their case anymore.”

Don’t associate? She already made a move, it’s too late to back out now.

“You’re talking about association? Who the fuck associated himself with them first? Wasn’t it you?! Your father warned you to stay away from them yet—"

“He had told me to stay away but he never said why—he should have told me why! So, I know. I should have known earlier!”

“Louis, until now?!” She asked, exasperated. “Until now, you’re blaming your father?! You still hate him?”

“Why not?! Everything in my life was wrong because of him! My whole existence—everything about me is a mistake! Mistake! Fucking mistake! And what? He left me Lush Zeal? Too much burden! If I hate him to the extent then I will never work my ass off for his beloved company! I am in this position because of him!” 

And for the first time, after almost two decades, Carman saw Louis’ tears again. 

“And yet I still tried my best to fare. I was just a bastard and I tried to fare. I managed to get LZ on TOP 2! Yet with this one mistake, all of my efforts will be forgotten. I will be debunked as the Koo bastard once again!”

He became too accustomed in pretending. He’s always cold, face – often stoic, voice – always calm, his stare – always indifferent. Yet, he’s still in pain. 

Carman thinks of how stupid life can be. Until now, the both of them can not leave their past behind.

“Louis… please choose me this time. I’m willing to help you.”

She’s still betting on him, she still believes that he’d turn things around and tell everyone the truth.

“I have chosen you once, but you only betrayed me. Everyone betrays me. Only Liu-ge would never.”

Carman saw it on his face. A boy that misses his big brother.

“I never betrayed you—but I know, you aren’t ready for that talk.” She quickly added when Louis’ face changed. She sniffed, eyes were teary. “I’ll wait for you to change your mind, if you only believe in Liu then believe that your brother would want you to do the right thing.”

That and she left…

  
She waited, but the talk was nonsense. She only realized it the night of the Oasis Music Festival, the night when Xiao Zhan had another accident. Even when it hurts and it's hard to accept, she knew then she has to speak up, even if Louis Koo’s name gets tainted.

(Author's Note:)

Louis Koo was not in CQL but I put him in this story since I found out that he was Carman Lee's leading man on her most popular show - "The Condor Heroes 95". I did write their romance as sad without researching about their real love stories beforehand. But as I was doing my research, I found out that Carman's real life romance was indeed sad and I'm kind of surprise that there are some small similarities to what I wrote and to what was real.

At the peak of her career, Carman Lee fell in love with a businessman 20 years her senior. He was a divorcee. This said businessman failed in business, and had various debts but even so, she didn't leave him. She helped him out, loved him with all her heart. Carman dated him with the intention of marriage. This man wanted her to quit acting, so even when she was at the peak, she was so in love that she did quit acting. This man also wanted her to be more mature so she gave up the things she wanted just to please him. 

She said:

_"He didn't want me to film, so I stopped work and faded from the limelight. He didn't like my brightly-coloured nail polish so I wouldn't apply any at all. He hoped that I could dress more maturely, so I gave up the style I liked."_

The man refused to see her parents and Carman would just make alibis and reasons for him. She mentioned marriage twice, but he rejected the idea. He mentioned break up every year and she tried to save the relationship each time. They were together for 8 years, got separated for 16 months and got back together for a small amount of time. In their 10th year, the relationship finally ended and it took her years to finally move on. 

Now, at 54, Carman Lee stayed unmarried and she admitted that the past relationship left her scarred as it was now hard for her to get along with the opposite gender.

But on the brighter side, she has become an independent and positive woman. She's also a fitness and health enthusiast.

**Okay, I'm sorry for nagging here too long.**


End file.
